Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Teacher accused son of racism

223 replies

Claireabella1 · 16/10/2017 23:48

Ive been a long time lurker but posted about something else earlier this week and really appreciated the advice I got, so here I go again. I received a call today from my son's school. It was the mentor for his year telling me that my son and another child had been placed in isolation for making racist comments towards a teacher and she was investigating. She said next step was to talk to all children in the class and also two other members of staff in the classroom at the time. I asked her what comment was made and it was vile. She told me my son was very upset and I knew in my gut he didn't do this, but was willing to listen and asked her to update me. She did (within half an hour) all children in class and the two other adults agreed what my son said was relevant and not racist (history class, talking about the plague, teacher called it 'black death' and DS said he'd heard of that, it killed lots of people) for context, hes12. Other member of staff said he took the comment as part of relevant classroom discussion. Mentor sounded embarrassed when she relayed this to me and apologised a lot, she admitted no racist comments had been made by anyone (DS air the other boy) she said teacher was confused and stressed. I asked if teacher would apologise to my DS and mentor said yes. She hasn't apologised and I'm fucking reeling. I think racism is a serious allegation and you can't just accuse someone of racism and then say 'whoops'I was stressed. I'm also worried that because they had to speak to the other children in the class things might become outrageous as they do in high school and my DS may suffer some backlash he doesn't deserve. I'm honestly fuming, he's the loveliest boy and has been through so much, this is so unfair to him.

OP posts:
MulberryMoon · 17/10/2017 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaisyPops · 17/10/2017 17:34

So in a nutshell:

Discussion happens in class

Teacher believes they heard something racist

Child was put in isolation whilst it was investigated (not reprimanded or judged guilty) which is standard for any investigation.

Investigation was conducted. It concluded no wrongdoing had occured. Child not told off. School acknowledge this.

And people are going mad?!

Students are put in isolation pending investigation on a few things e.g. bullying. All tbose people who are saying it shouldn't happen, would you be happy for a bully to be on yhe wander after students have raised a bullying issue? Probably not. Being in isolation as an investigation takes place is not a judgement of guilt.

theftbyfinding · 17/10/2017 17:38

If the teacher mistakenly heard "All black people should die" instead of "It killed lots of people" he/she has some serious issues, either of the hearing variety or worse. You simply don't mishear in that way.

Italiangreyhound · 17/10/2017 17:38

Thanks OP and I meant dd not Dr, which I'm sure you realised.

Ohmygodareyouserious it's disgusting your dd's teacher told her she could not have a 'type'. Of course all girls and women, and men and boys can have a 'romantic attraction'.type! That's called personal choice. To imply not is ridiculous.

Ttbb · 17/10/2017 17:43

Even if he had made racist comments he's twelve and the teacher should have reacted more appropriately. As it stands I think that you should demand a public apology andretraction from the teacher (perhaps at the next assembly or at a special gathering of everyone who heard about the 'racist comment'). Say that if this does not happen you will consider suing on your son's behalf for libel.

KittyVonCatsington · 17/10/2017 18:22

As it stands I think that you should demand a public apology andretraction from the teacher (perhaps at the next assembly or at a special gathering of everyone who heard about the 'racist comment'). Say that if this does not happen you will consider suing on your son's behalf for libel.

Now I've heard it all Hmm

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 17/10/2017 18:30

As it stands I think that you should demand a public apology andretraction from the teacher (perhaps at the next assembly or at a special gathering of everyone who heard about the 'racist comment'). Say that if this does not happen you will consider suing on your son's behalf for libel.

Please tell me you are joking.

Italiangreyhound · 17/10/2017 18:39

OP I really hope all will be well. Some people I. Your thread are saying some crazy things! Look after your ds and try not to be too stressed. Flowers

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 17/10/2017 18:47

In primary school, I was accused of a racist comment by another pupil. We were playing chase, and I said there was no point chasing one girl as she was too fast. She told the teacher I wouldn't play with her because she was black. I can only assume she'd heard something about black athletes, put two and two together and got five...?

It was upsetting because I knew racism was bad, and I knew I hadn't been racist, and the school said as it was "so serious" it had to go in their incident book.

But I got over it quickly and it hasn't scarred me for life. I know it's different because my accusation was from a pupil (probably a genuine mistake, not malicious) and your son's is from an adult in position in power. But now that everybody knows he wasn't racist, and he had a "sit down" with the teacher, does he really need an apology?

MistressDeeCee · 17/10/2017 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaisyPops · 17/10/2017 21:05

MistressDeeCee
I'll be honest on almost any thread similar to this (school have done something wrong, potentially, home are angry) my response is the same almost everytime:

Contact the school, be reasonable and ask to speak to the most appropriate person (not the most senior you can demand). When you meet/speak to that person, be polite and reasonable, raise your concerns and hear them out. Then discuss the situation like reasonable adults. It will quickly become apparent if the concern is justified or not and it can be resolved.

Most school situations can be resolved that way, just threads on MN love the collective outrage on school threads. It's like crack for people.

KittyVonCatsington · 17/10/2017 21:12

It's like crack for people.

Absolutely Maisy. Four threads I have been on regarding Teachers have been deleted due to PBPs in the last 48 hours, so it's something people will know shakes the rackles. Hopefully, the OP gets a good outcome for her and her son but not sure AIBU is a place for concern or advice.

Thymeout · 17/10/2017 21:30

Yes - there are so many issues I don't post on now - racism is one of them - but I thought at least with this one I might be able to help from the experience of actually having spent most of my career in a school where this sort of problem arises.

I occasionally join in on the Guardian Comment is Free, and, honestly, even with Corbynites and Blairites at each others' throats, it's never as personally vicious as Mumsnet.

MulberryMoon · 17/10/2017 21:40

Kitty, what happened with the thread about the woman whose dd pushed someone and was kept in all week? How did people realise it wasn't real?

MaisyPops · 17/10/2017 21:42

I agree kitty.

Similar thing each time:
OP - here is a situation where school have done soemthing wrong
Mass pile on - bloody teachers...
Teachers and some parents - well actually, maybe you should consider x y z... you should talk to the school but speak to the right person and he calm. Don't storm in being rude or demanding as there may be more than you know.
Mass pile on - argh you can tell who teachers are on here. Always calling children liars. Speak to the head OP. Demand a meeting and if not then threaten to call governors and oftsed. That'll show them.
Teachers and some parents - actually, that isn't how to resolve it. What needs to happen is... (repeats self) If you do what some people suggest then you'd be out of order, be viewed as 'that parent' and it's probably not goinf to get resolved quickly.
Mass pile on - Don't worry about being 'that parent' OP. These teachers don't like anyone daring yo question them. You stick up for your child.
Teachers and some parents - Of course you can raise it. Nobody is saying not to. We are just saying be mindful that going in angry without all the facts isn't the way forward
Mass pile on - lots of patting on backs and quotinf posters saying 'i'm so glad you don't teach my child'

Ttbb · 17/10/2017 21:42

@PigletWasPoohsFriend only a little-I am afraid that I was one of those children who loved humiliating incompetent teachers and my underlying tendencies still get the better of me some times. I probably wouldn't do this if this happened to my own children (because I don't want them to turn out like me) but I would've sorely tempted before loosing interest altogether.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 17/10/2017 21:47

Was the vile comment something that sounded similar to what DS actually said? I've misheard children across a classroom before, especially on days when I've been a bit stressed and distracted, I'm human and sometimes when another child's chatting and somebody else is shuffling on their chair etc it's hard to hear properly. With something that serious I would have checked with other adults in the room before it got as far as calling parents though, especially if it was out of character for the child.

KittyVonCatsington · 17/10/2017 21:47

Dunno Mulberry-deletion message just said deleted due to a PBP. Must have been reported as people smelt a rat and reported.

Bluffinwithmymuffin · 17/10/2017 22:18

What does PBP mean?

KittyVonCatsington · 17/10/2017 22:22

Previously Banned Poster, Bluffin

InsomniacAnonymous · 17/10/2017 22:25

SparklyUnicornPoo the OP said what it was in her post at Tue 17-Oct-17 14:42:26

Bluffinwithmymuffin · 17/10/2017 22:42

Thank you kitty

Lazy2Hazy · 17/10/2017 23:07

“Even if he had made racist comments he's twelve and the teacher should have reacted more appropriately. “

some of you are truly shocking.

SparklyUnicornPoo · 17/10/2017 23:17

InsomniacAnonymous So she did, I'd missed that post. I can't see anyway, even if OP's DS mumbles and the classroom is loud that those two sentences could be confused.

MistressDeeCee · 17/10/2017 23:57

MaisyPops

Exactly. Its the reasonable thing to do. Not that I believe that posters who are advising to demand public apology, berating of teacher, sue for libel(!) would really do such a thing. Its easy to get hyped on the internet

But whatever the case if a situation happens at school regarding your child, particularly one deemed serious, and you shy away from getting to the bottom of it so all you really have is hearsay then thats not conducive to resolution.

Even if its not a school situation, actually, You don't get resolution by speculation or a whole load of people inflaming the situation, again based on hearsay

Makes me think Im not surprised teachers are leaving the job. I've come across some rotten teachers in my life but the vast majority are good at their job and don't get enough thanks for it

Swipe left for the next trending thread