Teacher accused son of racism

[Claireabella1]

Ive been a long time lurker but posted about something else earlier this week and really appreciated the advice I got, so here I go again. I received a call today from my son's school. It was the mentor for his year telling me that my son and another child had been placed in isolation for making racist comments towards a teacher and she was investigating. She said next step was to talk to all children in the class and also two other members of staff in the classroom at the time. I asked her what comment was made and it was vile. She told me my son was very upset and I knew in my gut he didn't do this, but was willing to listen and asked her to update me. She did (within half an hour) all children in class and the two other adults agreed what my son said was relevant and not racist (history class, talking about the plague, teacher called it 'black death' and DS said he'd heard of that, it killed lots of people) for context, hes12. Other member of staff said he took the comment as part of relevant classroom discussion. Mentor sounded embarrassed when she relayed this to me and apologised a lot, she admitted no racist comments had been made by anyone (DS air the other boy) she said teacher was confused and stressed. I asked if teacher would apologise to my DS and mentor said yes. She hasn't apologised and I'm fucking reeling. I think racism is a serious allegation and you can't just accuse someone of racism and then say 'whoops'I was stressed. I'm also worried that because they had to speak to the other children in the class things might become outrageous as they do in high school and my DS may suffer some backlash he doesn't deserve. I'm honestly fuming, he's the loveliest boy and has been through so much, this is so unfair to him.

[Ohmygodareyouserious]

My daughter came home from school once and relayed to me that she had been having one of those relationship type classes (I don't know what they are called, you know the type, keep your hand on your ha'penny type of class). Anyway during a group conversation my daughter had said that she did not find a particular pop star attractive (a black man) as he was not her 'type'. The teacher told her that it was an extremely racist thing to say!!! She was very upset when she came home and confused and asked me if I thought she was racist. I was livid but she begged me not to take it any further and as she was 14 and was the one that it had happened too I respected her request. I feel your frustration but sometimes people are inappropriate and I think in hindsight, it was a good learning curve for her - some people are just dicks.

[silkpyjamasallday]

Without knowing what was supposedly said, whether misheard or imagined, it is impossible to know whether the teacher WBU.

Personally I don't think enough racism is called out, people get away with racist micro aggressions all the time, the teacher rightly challenged a comment from your son which she believed to be racist. Rather than berating a teacher for her mistake be happy that someone is willing to challenge pupils when they say something racist/sexist/homophobic. It really isn't going to damage a 12 year olds reputation to have been accused of racism and exonerated. Men accused of rape seem to have little problem continuing their lives as normal, look at Ched Evans.

I don't think the school should have told you that the teacher in question is stressed, and having heard that maybe have some compassion and leave it be, your son hasn't really experienced any hardship and the other teachers and pupils are in support of him. I'm betting that this teacher is from an ethnic minority rather than being white? If so she will be tuned in to hear all the little digs about race that people who are not white experience every single day. Also perfectly possible that your son said something in a certain tone which changed its interpretation, and many many people deny racist comments being racism, say people are over sensitive, special snowflakes, PC gone mad... look at mumsnet. The fact that you are unwilling to post what was actually said leads me to believe that your son said something inappropriate but it has been minimised by all involved.

[Bluffinwithmymuffin]

Can't say I'm surprised to read this; my kids were your ds age ten years ago, and ridiculous, spurious accusations of racism were flying around and being taken seriously by hysterical teachers then. One example: my ds 11 was told off for colouring his monster red and black (kids were designing monsters on the pic for a display) because she said "it could be construed as racist" ... "misconstrued as racist " I said when I went to see her about it- she just about managed to agree but didn't apologise.

I could go on, but it's depressing, quite frankly. These days people are far more frightened of being accused of racism than they are of being the subject of a racist slur, so we have these insane situations - especially in school- that hurt innocent kids and help nobody.

[diddl]

So what happens?

The teacher thinks that she heard something racist & immediately the pupils who she thinks are respnsible are put into isolation whilst an investigation takes place?

[Claireabella1]

Duchess - wtf? I haven't said I'm on a war path or going in all guns blazing or demanded a YouTube apology Thank you all for the advice, I'm going to ask mentor if she can email me a clear account of what happened and go from there, from what I have so far I think I'll make a formal complaint. The 'vile comment' was actually not spoken by anyone teacher has admitted she didn't mistake another comment for this (I can't actually bring myself to type it, as pathetic as that sounds) and I don't know if she is being disciplined for lying, another question for me to ask.

[KoalaD]

So your son didn't make a comment at all? She just made the whole incident up?

[Ceto]

Why do people need to know what the vile comment was? The teacher has acknowledged that OP's son didn't make it.

OP, what did the teacher say when she sat down with your son?

[Italiangreyhound]

OP I am very sorry to hear of your son's mental health worries/counsellong. Dr has this too. It's tough.

Make sure his record is clear and letter of apology too. But, in the nicest possible way please do not blow this out of proportion. Mistakes are made. Please do not make this more than it is. For the sake of your son. Listen to how he wants to deal with it too. Xx

[KoalaD]

It's relevant because presumably the teacher genuinely believed he'd made the comment, at some point.

[Claireabella1]

Silkpyjamas of course I agree with people calling out racism. I'm not happy for my 12 year old son to have been disciplined and a sanction on his record for something he didn't do. Ceto they basically just told him he wasn't in trouble and then let him call me as he was pretty upset.

[SatansLittleHelper2]

If the teacher is making up lies about children then she shouldnt be a teacher.

Id be kicking up a huge, stink too. This wasnt a misunderstanding.......this was a person telling lies and wasting everyones time.

[KoalaD]

These days people are far more frightened of being accused of racism than they are of being the subject of a racist slur,

Year, I think there might be a few non-white people around who'd disagree with you.

[Claireabella1]

Thanks Italiangreyhound, I hear what you're saying.

[Roomster101]

It sounds as if the teacher has made a mistake and this has been acknowledged by the school. I would give them the chance to apologise before doing anything else. Anyone can make a mistake so don't blow this out of proportion or you will just look ridiculous.

[KoalaD]

However, I would be interested to know her side of the story.

So would I. I'm finding it hard to believe that she made a'vile comment' up completely, knowing that he said nothing. As opposed to mishearing or misinterpreting.

What possible motive would she have?

[letsmargaritatime]

Teachers are human beings just like the rest of us.they are not immune to confusion misunderstanding spite dishonesty or malice

This exactly. You always get the comments of "but why would the teacher lie?" and "surely you don't think the teacher is making it up" on these threads. This child is lucky to have witnesses to the incident, if not the responses on here would be different and assuming the child, most likely referred to as a "special snowflake" must have made the vile comments

[KoalaD]

Well, I don't think that teachers go around making up vile comments that nobody ever said, no. Who does that at work?? Nobody, unless they've something to gain. Which would be what, in this case?

[jellybeanteaparty]

I would contact the school expressing where you stand and what you would like to happen e.g.you/your son don't want any further action/fuss but you do want a written summary of what happened including any action s taken. If the school made a mistake then I would want this clearly indicated on your sons record or nothing to do with this incident on his record.

[letsmargaritatime]

Well, I don't think that teachers go around making up vile comments that nobody ever said, no. Who does that at work?? Nobody, unless they've something to gain. Which would be what, in this case?

What planet are you on? Of course people lie at work for all kind of reasons. To cover their backs, personal dislike, malice, panic, a long term agenda. The automatic disbelief shown by you and peng shows so much bias in favour of the teacher, as if just by the very nature of their job they are beyond reproach.

[Cinnamoniboni]

So the teacher is so stressed out that she made up a racial slur and just randomly picked two boys to send to the office for racism? Why did your son think he was being told off? If the kids were all just merrily doing their work and the teacher plucked this out of the air?!

This story sounds weirder the more you tell it OP.

[BertrandRussell]

But if the teacher wanted to make a malicious accusation against a child for whatever reason, why would they do it in the presence of witnesses? She would have lots of opportunities to do it when there were no other adults present....