Teacher accused son of racism

[Claireabella1]

Ive been a long time lurker but posted about something else earlier this week and really appreciated the advice I got, so here I go again. I received a call today from my son's school. It was the mentor for his year telling me that my son and another child had been placed in isolation for making racist comments towards a teacher and she was investigating. She said next step was to talk to all children in the class and also two other members of staff in the classroom at the time. I asked her what comment was made and it was vile. She told me my son was very upset and I knew in my gut he didn't do this, but was willing to listen and asked her to update me. She did (within half an hour) all children in class and the two other adults agreed what my son said was relevant and not racist (history class, talking about the plague, teacher called it 'black death' and DS said he'd heard of that, it killed lots of people) for context, hes12. Other member of staff said he took the comment as part of relevant classroom discussion. Mentor sounded embarrassed when she relayed this to me and apologised a lot, she admitted no racist comments had been made by anyone (DS air the other boy) she said teacher was confused and stressed. I asked if teacher would apologise to my DS and mentor said yes. She hasn't apologised and I'm fucking reeling. I think racism is a serious allegation and you can't just accuse someone of racism and then say 'whoops'I was stressed. I'm also worried that because they had to speak to the other children in the class things might become outrageous as they do in high school and my DS may suffer some backlash he doesn't deserve. I'm honestly fuming, he's the loveliest boy and has been through so much, this is so unfair to him.

[WitchesHatRim]

So 8 pages and we still don't know what was said.

[InsomniacAnonymous]

OP, why don't you go and speak to the teacher who made the allegation face-to-face? That's what I would do. I would want to get to the bottom of this.

[Claireabella1]

Because I'm delicate and have vapours, Bert. It was 'all black people should die' the preceding conversation was this:

T: what do we know about the Black Death?
DS: it killed lots of people.

Teacher then added on the other comment. I know this much and am awaiting a response from the mentor.

In response to pp I don't actually know if teacher is black.

[IHopeYourCakeIsShit]

So the teacher said "All black people should die"
and then claimed your son said it?

[LagunaBubbles]

Nope. I am not saying "Why would a teacher do that?" or "A teacher wouldn't do that". I am questioning why anyone would do that, and I would like to hear her side. That's all

That could apply to any posts on MN, its only the OPs posts we go by.

I often wonder why my DSs school took so long to deal with a teacher with an alcohol problem, the stories he used to tell us about his lessons probably wouldn't be believed by the Troll hunters here either. But it wasnt till he spent 15 minutes at parents night praising my DS and his French to bits that I realised something was wrong as my DS was struggling...yes he had told us some pretty confidential stuff about the other boy in DSs class with the same name as him.

[whiskyowl]

I do not get this thread at all. It feels like a huge chunk of the story is missing or something. No-ones motivation or actions make any sense whatsoever.

[Claireabella1]

MistressDeeCee - you couldn't be more wrong. My DS didn't say anything. My DD did say lesbian at primary school and got told off. She didn't deny saying it and didn't think it was wrong. We don't have a 'choice' way of speaking at all.

[Claireabella1]

And it wasn't 'lesbian talk' whatever that is she said the word lesbian to describe a lesbian couple.

[MulberryMoon]

So your son got into trouble for saying the Black Death killed lots of people and your daughter got into trouble for saying 'oh is that the lesbian couple?' about a couple in a tv show? Yes that is very unfortunate that they keep getting into trouble over such innocuous comments.

[downthestrada]

Well perhaps your son is innocent. It would be best to speak with the teacher directly no? I would be concerned that you've only heard from the mentor that you're getting an apology from the teacher, and up to now the teacher hasn't apologised - so perhaps the teacher still thinks your son has said something vile. Or maybe, she is confused and stressed and thought it best not to rush in and speak with you too soon. Who knows? Maybe they shouldn't be teaching.

I know it seems true that your son is innocent, but keep in mind that children say daft and cruel things at school too. Friends I grew up with, best friends, turned on me at high school and started to say racist things. Their parents too could not believe it.

Hopefully you get to chat with the teacher soon and find out what happened.

[Claireabella1]

They don't 'keep getting into trouble' ffs.

[Claireabella1]

Downthestrada, you are right and children can be cruel. I do want to hear the teachers side as well.

Going to step away now, as I clearly can't have two completely separate incidents, that are completely different circumstances over a year apart and ask for advice on them.

Thank you to those who gave me some good advice.

[mamamalt]

She didn’t fabricate it or lie!!
She made a mistake!!!!
I don’t think the school should have told you she is stressed as it makes her out to be unfit in some way. Who knows what kind of day she had had?! That’s not your sons problem though so I do think she should apologise. Your son sounds very level headed about it so I would take his lead.
Just as others have said ensue there is no lasting record so this mistake doesn’t come up all over again.

[LornaMumsnet]

Hi folks,

Just a quick reminder, please do avoid troll hunting on threads. We're more than happy to answer reports and get to the bottom of any concerns, but we will have to delete troll hunting.

[WitchesHatRim]

The whole thread is pointless as the OP won't refuses to say what was said.

[InsomniacAnonymous]

WitchesHatRim the OP said that in her post at Tue 17-Oct-17 14:42:26

[LagunaBubbles]

The whole thread is pointless as the OP won't refuses to say what was said

Its easy to highlight the OPs posts and then you would see she has said.

[ordinarymumnat]

Here the child was accused, and immediately sanctioned. Teacher was wrong, but was under pressure so its all okay.

If it was reversed and the child's excuse was, oh I'm stressed, would everyone here say that's fine?

At the minimum an apology directly from the teacher is deserved.

[Ceto]

zzzzz, OP doesn't complain about her son being segregated. The issue is the failure to apologise when he had been told that she would.

[Ceto]

mamamalt, it's not at all clear that the teacher didn't fabricate something. She seems to have reported the initial exchange with OP's son correctly, but she claims he then said something really offensive in addition when all witnesses are clear that he didn't. It's difficult to understand how she got something as radically wrong as that without apparently thinking it necessary to check with her colleagues.

[Ceto]

Mulberry, how do two incidents more than a year apart involving two different children equate with both children keeping getting into trouble?

[BoneyBackJefferson]

If the teacher made this up why did OP say that the "other staff member said he took the comment as part of relevant classroom discussion."?

Now it wasn't said at all!