To say DS needs to go to the closest dance school?

[daughterhollysonharry]

DS is 11 and really wants to take up ballet. There's a boys dance school about a 20 minute drive away. There's a closer dance school about 3 mins away which would be helpful as he can walk.

DD goes to girl guides as she didn't want to do the trips with boys (I suppose this is relevant).

I've said that DS should just try the closer one and if the girls do say something, we'll assess it after. Apparently his argument is that I didn't make DD try the closer scouts, but the thing is, that's harder to get into/leave, etc.

He has said "don't worry Mum" and isn't going to even give the other one a go! Which makes me even less likely to do it. Why can't he just give it a go?

AIBU???

If it's the London Boys Ballet school that he wants to try you are 100% unreasonable. It's an outstanding school and has a massive range of classes for boys and it's incredible for the boys to get a chance to learn to dance with other boys who love dancing. The teaching is really high quality and socially it's fantastic too. If it's this school, or any boys dance school you are 100% wrong.

OP how do you feel about your son doing ballet? You don't seem to be massively encouraging it or supporting him. Could your reluctance be due to your own prejudices about boys doing ballet?

20 mins away isnt that bad! Is there a bus he could easily take? I would really try and encourage him and back him to go to the boys class - it would be better in so many ways.

Wow I'm surprised at how many people know it. Yes it is that school.

I see I'm being a bit mean then.

To be fair to the OP, uniformed groups often have really long waiting lists. So it may be easier to get a place in the dance school (but dance schools may also be oversubscribed). And it might not have been possible to try out scouts and switch to guides. That said, the waiting lists in our group are for Beavers (a 2 year wait) and cubs (also long). But there isn’t a waiting list for scouts.

PPs are right that scouts is very easy to leave though, especially if there’s a waiting list.

I have no issue with boys doing ballet but I don't know why he'd want to make it hard for himself. He likes football and other sports too, so it isn't like he has absolutely nothing that he loves and ballet would be the only thing.

you sounds nuts. research the best ballet schools in the area and get him to one. you're his mum and he's only 11, give him a bloody chance!!

YABVU. 20 minutes is not far. Also worth noting that ballet has to be taught properly otherwise it can cause permanent damage. If you care about him doubgballet then you need to send him to the best one, not the closest.

You'd be surprised just how far some of the boys travel to get to that school, and it has an excellent reputation. Your ds is extremely lucky to live so close.

Honestly OP, it's such a great school. It's run incredibly professionally and the Director is a male dancer. Many of the teachers are male and they have a huge number of boys there of all ages. They totally get what excites boys about dance and it's wonderful for them to be in an environment where they're with lots of peers with similar interests. It would be a real shame not to let him try a class with them. I know it's a pain if it's not up the road but it's really worth it.

Please please please let him go to the school he wants to and support him !

You're not worried he wants to "make it hard for himself "- you're worried its going to make it hard for you. (as hard as a 20 minute drive can be).

I think you're being quite selfish tbh

Have you not SEEN Billy Elliot??

If you can get to that school then let him. My ds 13 boards at dance school 180 miles away from us so that he can dance with boys because there are none local to us. If I lived within an hour of London boys ballet school he would be there instead. Boys and girls training is very different and he would likely be in a class with girls who’ve been dancing since they could walk. Let him have a go.

You are being unfair. Let him go.

If there is a boys ballet school in existence then it means there is a clear need for one. Just as there is for the girls only space you helped your dd access. Scouts can have a waiting list but you ultimately respected her wish to go to a girls only space and guides often have a longer waiting list.

Give him a chance at it. Just because he has football too doesn't mean he can't do or try new things

He doesn't want to make it hard for himself, he wants to go to the best place! Which shows commitment and aspiration.

I really don't see what this has to do with what your Dd does or does not want to do. It is to do with him wanting to do dance at a top school, with top teachers, specially geared to boys dance.

I would support him like a shot!

Surely aged 11 he gets himself around London on the bus, anyway?

Please let him do this.

Its obvious that youre looking at this as "its just a fad" and you dont want to put yourself out for it, but its way easier to "do" football than it is ballet, if hes asking then he probably wants to do it a lot more than football. You supported your daughters choice of where she wants to do activities, its time to step up for your sons choice as well.

Another YABVVU. Not all ballet schools are the same by any stretch. He deserves the same same up port as his sister and the right environment for his interest.

It's 20 minutes away. Parents should be encouraging their children to pursue hobbies, especially those against the gender norm. It sounds like he really wants to go to this school and you are being unfair having one rule for your daughter and another for him.

Give him confidence and support him. One of the most important jobs as a parent.

I mean hard for himself by going against gender norms. I think it is a good thing, but when he likes so many other sports, why add in another that could cause him to be upset?

If your daughter wanted to play rugby or football would you try to stop her?

I'd certainly indulge him in this case. It's a bit shite if you don't, honestly.