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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to complain about a delivery driver using sexist language?

152 replies

mouserat · 14/10/2017 20:49

Earlier tonight I ordered food from a local branch of a national pizza company and the delivery driver who brought it twice referred to me as 'sweetheart'.
I am from the north of England and people (especially older people) referring to a stranger as 'pet' is a very common colloquialism where I live, but 'sweetheart' is not. Also he was not an older man who might have used something like that as part of his general speech pattern, he was probably in his late teens to at most 20-21. And he said it in a really condescending tone.

My first thought was that this was inappropriate and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man) language and shouldn't go unchallenged, but when I came to write an email of complaint to the company I started to wonder if I was being ridiculous and blowing things out of proportion. I'm not expecting an apology or anything from them, I'd just like someone to have a word with him about his language when speaking to female customers. Would it be unreasonable to make a complaint?

OP posts:
UsedtobeFeckless · 14/10/2017 23:29

Or grummpy, even.

Blahblahboo · 14/10/2017 23:31

And this is exactly what is wrong with feminists. They find something to complain about in everything.

GilligansKitchenIsland · 14/10/2017 23:34

Does anyone ever actually say 'I am not your darling!' or 'I am not your love!'???

My mum chased someone down the road once to say that! 😂 But we'd just moved here from overseas, English isn't her first language, and she didn't realise it was just a meaningless / friendly turn of phrase in this country. Unless you're in a similar situation, OP, you're BVVVU.

ProseccoMamam · 14/10/2017 23:47

You’re hangry, eat your pizza and shut up

abitoflight · 15/10/2017 00:24

There’s a town near me that I go to sometimes and I repeatedly get called ‘chick’ and ‘bab’ and ‘sweetheart’ by female and male staff in shops. Maybe he’s just from a place like that where it’s just a way of being pleasant that is ubiquitous?

SilverySurfer · 15/10/2017 00:37

Go on, complain - then I'm sure there will be a little extra something on your next pizza and I don't mean extra toppings Grin

Honestly, get over your oh so precious self.

TittyGolightly · 15/10/2017 00:38

And this is exactly what is wrong with feminists. They find something to complain about in everything.

A feminist wants equal treatment for men and women. Shouldn't we all be feminists?

Blahblahboo · 15/10/2017 00:41

No modern feminists want to be above men hence why they complain endlessly, and why men can't do anything right.
I would take it as a grave insult to be called a feminist

RunningOutOfCharge · 15/10/2017 00:49

Op was that bothered by this that she didn’t come back!!??

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 15/10/2017 00:55

I fucking hate being called sweetie, sweetheart, hunny (bleurg) or love, too bad if it makes me a twat. But I am not English originally (which probably makes me a twat in the first place :D ), so it is probably just a question of habits

But I wouldn't complain, just roll my eyes

MoonShapedPool · 15/10/2017 01:11

Blahblahboo hahaha! Joke right?!

Blahblahboo · 15/10/2017 01:15

Not a joke. Modern feminists give women a bad name and I don't want to be associated with that. Just a bunch of man hating bigots. Sorry.

KoolKoala07 · 15/10/2017 01:16

For fuck sake! It's a sad day when it's no longer acceptable to call someone sweetheart.
Let's all just stay in our homes,with no interaction with other human beings.
I'm scared to bloody breath now in case I'm doing it wrong or it's unacceptable.

Bunnyhipsdontliegrl · 15/10/2017 01:21

I have so many interractions with so many people who manage not to call me sweetheart. But it really seems important to you.. For some reason... So do it, people who don't like it will just roll their eyes

vlooby · 15/10/2017 01:26

My first thought was that this was inappropriate and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man

Let's face it....yabu and clearly you should have just been thinking mmmmmmm pizza!

honeyrider · 15/10/2017 01:33

I agree with the comments that third generation feminists are a bunch of man hating bigots. They spend their time waiting to take offence even when none is intended.

PerspicaciaTick · 15/10/2017 01:43

I think saying "Please don't call me sweetheart" would be fine. Withholding his tip would be fine. Writing a formal complaint to his employer seems OTT.

fullofhope03 · 15/10/2017 01:46

Oh ffs SERIOUSLY? YABU

sunshinenanny · 15/10/2017 01:48

Let this one go, It would amuse me coming from a young man but I doubt he meant anything by it. There are far more important things to get upset about.

Fatarseflanagan09 · 15/10/2017 01:51

He called you sweetheart, he didn't say here's your pizza you fat cunt, get a grip.

prettypetal · 15/10/2017 01:59

Ermmmm.... are you for real? THIS has upset you / pissed you off ? I’m honestly lost for words with your post : /

FeelingAggrieved · 15/10/2017 02:10

Get a grip.

NoLoveofMine · 15/10/2017 02:13

It's sexist and you would not be unreasonable to mention it. I'm sure 99% of responses are along the lines of "get over it!!!!!!" but a man would never have to "get over it" because it wouldn't happen to a man.

NoLoveofMine · 15/10/2017 02:15

No modern feminists want to be above men hence why they complain endlessly, and why men can't do anything right.

I'd take just not being sexually assaulted, raped or murdered by men for being female as a start, thanks.

ferretsHateFeminists · 15/10/2017 02:16

I started to wonder if I was being ridiculous and blowing things out of proportion

Yes, yes you are.

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