AIBU to complain about a delivery driver using sexist language?

[mouserat]

Earlier tonight I ordered food from a local branch of a national pizza company and the delivery driver who brought it twice referred to me as 'sweetheart'.
I am from the north of England and people (especially older people) referring to a stranger as 'pet' is a very common colloquialism where I live, but 'sweetheart' is not. Also he was not an older man who might have used something like that as part of his general speech pattern, he was probably in his late teens to at most 20-21. And he said it in a really condescending tone.

My first thought was that this was inappropriate and sexist (he wouldn't have said it to a man) language and shouldn't go unchallenged, but when I came to write an email of complaint to the company I started to wonder if I was being ridiculous and blowing things out of proportion. I'm not expecting an apology or anything from them, I'd just like someone to have a word with him about his language when speaking to female customers. Would it be unreasonable to make a complaint?

If the OP wouldn't complain about him calling her 'pet', then she shouldn't be considering complaining about him calling her 'sweetheart'.

YAB VVVVV U.

He called you 'sweetheart' and you think it's sexist?!

FFS!

Maybe men should just all not even look at women, or talk to women EVER. Then they can do no wrong eh?

If you make a complaint, this poor, innocent, low-paid, hardworking man will probably get a warning at the very least, and may possibly get sacked.

I hope you can live with yourself if this happens.

Women like you @mouserat really do fuck me right off! You just make life more difficult, not only for men, but for other women too!

Next time, maybe state the obvious, 'I am not your sweetheart'.

It's a microaggression!

Oh for fuck's sake!

YABVU and creating a problem where there simply isn't one.

But again TheFrendo, the OP would be a hypocrite if she didn't then state 'I'm not your pet' anytime someone called her that.

Unless she is an actual cat or something and is typing this by walking across the keyboard

Absolutely agree with bingbongnoise - this isn't sexist and people like you infuriate me because you're just looking for something to be offended by! It gives women a bad name and completely undermines the fight against genuine racism!

Sorry I obviously meant sexism!!

It is everyday sexism. But not one I'd report to his boss.

What @Gemi33 said ^

I don't think it's sexist at all. Not in my neck of the woods, anyway.
Men say it to women, women say it to women, women say it to men, everybody says it to children. Not sure I've heard a man say it to a man but, meh, it's never said in a patronising or lecherous way. Just friendly.

Absolutely agree with bingbongnoise - this isn't sexist and people like you infuriate me because you're just looking for something to be offended by

Quite.

Man I thought we were a bit tougher in the north of England. Do you wrap up warm when you go clubbing as well?

I call people 'sweetie,' 'my lovely,' and 'darlin,' etc quite often (men AND women of all ages, from 1 to 99,) and I have never, ever had anyone say 'don't call me that!' If they did, I would think they were an arrogant twat with a stick up their arse, and would probably never talk to them again.

Does anyone ever actually say 'I am not your darling!' or 'I am not your love!'??? What a twat they must sound saying that!

I would be unhappy but not to the point of complaining (unlike with the parcel delivery guy who, a couple of days ago, took a massive piss on the inside of the front door of our block of 6 flats so i (and my daughter) had to walk through it to get to our flat and find the required cleaning stuff to deal with it. There is a public toilet nearby. I’m still incandescent with rage).

I think a phrase like that could be sexist, but isn't always. Depends on context, conversation etc.

I'm from part of the south west that says 'Alright my lover' as a greeting. I've said to men, women, young adults, old adults, strangers friends, etc. Sometimes phrases are part of the local dialect and normal despite how it may be perceived by other populations. I soon learnt not to say it when I moved north. I got some very funny looks!

If someone had complained about my use of language I would've been mortified. If he'd sworn casually then I'd understand. But Sweetheart? Ffs.

Of course! That CF should have called you sir! Anything less is misogyny plain and simple!

Omg, he would have prob called a bloke 'mate' or something similar- I really don't understand the problem at all, get over yourself

FFS, you're being ridiculous duck. Calm down, it's not good for your digestion!

He really said it to you condescendingly? Did he give you the death stare aswell?

I get it some people don't like being called pet names, but it's hardly something to get worked up about though. Enjoy the pizza and calm down.

YABU and sound like one of the professionally offended! It wouldn't even register to me!

Blimey...don't you have any real problems in your life to think about?

The bloke was obviously taking the pizza.

I do get mildly annoyed by things like this op , for example I was at a restaurant with dp and a waiter called him "sir" and me "honey" , this was pretty much all through the meal.

Little did he know , but Honey was paying the bill therefore deciding on what % over 12% the tip would be...

I picked up a bloke's pizza in Aldi today when it fell out of his basket. He said 'thanks sweetheart' and went back to his shopping.

everyday sexism microagression .. what the actual fuckery is wrong with calling someone sweetheart? I said to my OH "aw he called me sweetheart wasn't that nice?" .. little do I know I'm seemingly EVERYTHING wrong with feminism... [eyeroll]

Get a grip sweetheart