To ask what your DP/DH does that annoys you the most?

[DaisyRaine90]

Was in the middle of cooking last night and he swooped in And told me I was doing it wrong (recipe from my memory not written down, and which I had not cooked for him before). Did the same thing last week when I was going the roast.

Also points out “helpful suggestions” when I’m changing babies nappy, burping him etc. (If you know so much better you do it, grr!)

Tells me he’ll just do the hoovering etc. Because I take too long and he can do it quicker.

He says I’m being a “over sensitive millennial” and that he shouldn’t have to pander to me. We Both agree that if you are doing a bad job you should be pulled it but OMG give me a break already.

He also talks about things in front of the kids which I think are private/ age inappropriate topics, but says it doesn’t matter if they don’t understand (they definitely don’t 😂)
I still think we should be getting in good practice for when they are able to understand --it may be sooner than we think so best to be prepared
--
I am not perfect by any stretch and I have a habit of shouting over little things and taking things really personally. I am an over sensitive millennial I’m sure 😂

What does your DP/DH do that drives you mental? Love him and mostly things are great, but this just winds me up 😂

[Pumperthepumper]

If we're out walking and someone is walking behind us, he'll grab me and say 'watch out the way' to let them pass. It drives me insane - if they want me to move they can ask themselves! He does it everywhere, shops, supermarket, the park, the woods, anywhere there might be people behind me.

Can't look for anything.

Is never wrong.

[Groovee]

Not doing what I ask him to do or leaving it until HE is ready!

[Speckledtulip]

Snores like a rhinoceros.

[Speckledtulip]

Oh...and terrible timekeeping. He makes us late all the time, having spent three hours on the loo.

I gave birth in less time than it takes him to have a shit.

[Seeyamonday]

Plays jazz or punk music on a Sunday morning, now I've told him that these types of music (I hate the G word) are guaranteed to put me in a foul mood, does he care? Does he fuck! Then 20 mins later "what's up love"? Your shite taste in music is what's up arse hole!!!

[Ideserveaholiday]

Comes in triumphantly to say he's put the dishwasher on but has ignored all the stuff i left to soak in the sink and put in the pan with baked on shepherd's pie. No it won't magically work this time. Yes I will need to wash it up twice unless I swap it over. OK now he's gone off in a huff.

[pigeondujour]

I find it unlikely that pp's other halves are making puh noises in their sleep, since mine is the first and only person in the world to ever have experienced minor sleep irregularities. Therefore he wants to discuss them in depth. Daily.

[Gottagetmoving]

If we're out walking and someone is walking behind us, he'll grab me and say 'watch out the way' to let them pass. It drives me insane - if they want me to move they can ask themselves! He does it everywhere, shop supermarket, the park, the woods, anywhere there might be people behind me

OMG!!!...my DP does that too!....drives me bloody mad that he thinks the other people..or I....can't cope without his supervision!

[DrMadelineMaxwell]

Mine also is a habitual breather.
And snorer.

He insists he needs to sleep though listen to Radio 4 at bedtime, when I'm trying to read before sleeping.

[Alabasterangel6]

My bretheren. Have we all married clones? Everything has already been said, I think...

• PUH (that's a death knell as far as I'm concerned)
  
• putting the dirty cup on the counter above the EMPTY dishwasher
  
• emptying the dishwasher (under duress, and expecting praise) but doing literally that - emptying it onto the units and not actually putting it away
  
• not wiping the units
  
• ignoring the slow cooker full of leftovers to clean out
  
• taking the laundry off the line and dumping it in a big crumpled heap in the basket
  
• not coming to the table when dinner is ready/faffing/watching countryfile/having a wee despite having warnings it's almost ready
  
• expecting thanks for any minor effort when I don't get thanked for the 8 hours of drudgery I do every day
  
• making out his DIY projects are 'chores' - he bloody loves them and can't wait to do them
  
• always winning the 'who is tiredest' competition
  
• always winning the 'who is sickest' competition
  
• being absolutely stone bloody deaf to two DCs killing each other but can hear his mate whisper 'pint' at 0.5 miles
  
• always knows bloody best and always has a loud and not always subtle opinion on it
  
• walking ahead of me
  

I could think of many, many more.....

[TuftedLadyGrotto]

@Glittermakeseverythingbetter I think we might be married to the same man. Mine does all of those.

He also walks slightly faster than me. So I other have to jog to keep up, or look like I must stay behind him, like some subjugated woman.

Another one, he disappears when we are out. Shopping, museum, farm.. Turn around and he's gone. I spend 20mins looking for him with the kids and then he asks "did you find anything /see anything?" No I was looking for you!

[BlueButTrue]

My DH licks his plate after eating certain things

He also:

Opens cupboard/wardrobe and doesn't close them!

Breathes loudly in his sleep, not quite snoring but annoying. I can't describe it

Does farts whilst I'm eating/chilling/when we've settled down cosy in bed

If a 24 pack of crisps is bought, it'll be gone in 48 hours (disclaimer, he somehow isn't fat)

[Aquamarine1029]

My darling husband will put his dirty clothes in the hamper, every time, but for some unknown reason, he leaves his dirty socks next to his side of the fucking bed. And he takes them off when he takes off everything else and puts on his "comfy clothes" he wears around the house. WHY??!!

My "favorite" thing he does happens at least twice a week... He sleeps all night on his back with his giant long legs bent so it's like I'm sleeping in a fucking teepee all night long. I will push his knees down and within 5 seconds his legs pop right back up! I could chop his legs off. And there is NO waking him up. A bloody marching band could parade through our room and he would sleep through it.

I do love him, though. Even when I want to kill him.

[FairyMcHairy]

Falls asleep on the sofa every single night without fail, leaving me watching what we had agreed to watch together. I just wish he'd say at 9 o'clock 'no way would I make it through a programme, you put what you want on and I'm going to bed' and then I can watch the stuff he isn't interested in.

I genuinely think he believes that him being asleep on the sofa is keeping me company.

[Giggorata]

Breathes
Snores
Never puts the shopping away - leaves bread on top of the bread bin and leaves vegetables on the table, sweating in plastic.
Only does manlooks for anything
Leaves his fucking great shoes on the floor in the kitchen instead of in the basket round the corner
Has taken far too many years to learn that private conversations are private
Puts simplistic interpretations on whatever point I’m trying to make.
Sings

[albanie]

Wow these are making me howl...

My DP never opens windows and complains he is ‘freezing’ all the time I go around opening them to let the air in he goes around shutting them, it’s like some sort of absurd game we play!

Can’t wash up and leaves bits of cornflakes and breakfast remains on the sides of the bowls so once dried i need a bloody chisel to get them off.

Leaves his rolled up old socks in the lounge allllll the time. Leaves old pants in the trousers he wants washed so I have to fish them out before washing, they are often a crumpled sweaty mess in the trouser leg by the time I’m washing them

Makes the kitchen sides soaking wet when he washes up, and every tea towel in the house also sopping wet.

Slams the front door at 6.30am which wakes up me and our toddler, before then he is crashing about downstairs looking for wallet, keys, laptop charger etc which are scattered about the house because he can’t just be neat and tidy

Always needs a shit if we are running late or have somewhere to be, you can guarantee he will be sat on the throne watching videos his mates have sent him. Just have a shit and come the fuck on!!

He is good at all important stuff just not that domesticated clearly

[glitterbiscuits]

Dips biscuits in tea so I find cups with a soggy mess inside.

Anything that needs washing has to be washed under a hot running tap. No plug or bowl.
Anything that needs cleaning is either hoovered or washed. see above
Dusters and clothes or cleaning sprays are unnecessary. Kitchen worktops? Hoovered. Bath needs wiping? No- hoovered. Crumbs on your jumper? Let me hoover that for you.

Slurps when eating apples.

[Lazyginger]

These are hilarious. What is with the rolled up abandoned sock thing? I've started leaving the damm socks where they've been abandoned. Once after 4 days of looking at the damm things on the living room footstool i asked him to move them as the cleaner was coming. Answer - " if I'd known they were there I would of moved them"

[Mermaid36]

Has luxury shits which take at least 40mins, then shouts up the stairs at me to hurry up if I've taken more than a minute in the bathroom...

[WHATISTHISNIGHTMARE]

'really, really, really mucky jobs in the aftermath of the zombie apolcalypse' or similar.

[Littlegreyauditor]

Has never, in 40 years of life, learned to close a fucking door. It drives me mad.
Steps out of clothes like Bruce Almighty and wafts off leaving a pile, then whines when he has no clothes. They’re where you left them, kitten. I’m not your bloody mother.
Reverts to being a wee boy who must do what he’s told when faced with his parents and sibling. Can forget I even exist if they are there, he’s so busy buzzing around trying to earn their favour, (then again they forget I exist too). This will be the rock he perishes on.

[BlueButTrue]

My "favorite" thing he does happens at least twice a week... He sleeps all night on his back with his giant long legs bent so it's like I'm sleeping in a fucking teepee all night long

And

Just have a shit and come the fuck on!!

Quite literally laughing my head off at these

[PesoisaTool]

When I'm on the phone, he'll pipe up and try and speak to the person too, interrupting the conversation.

Walking away as I'm talking to him saying he's "still listening" when he isn't!

Opening post and leaving it on the side. I say put it in the recycling bin or file it.

Put a twatful of milk back in the fridge, like a dribble....

Uses shoes to go in garden and just leaves them in the hallway for me to trip over.

Uses slippers to do the gardening?! Then has no clean slippers for the house.

Has no Facebook account but often asks if he can check mine or "what's going on on FB?"

[beepbeeprichie]

Mine is completely and utterly unable to use washing up liquid.
He either squirts it onto dishes directly and doesn't rinse them properly so that there's a rogue blob of fairy on the Tupperware just waiting to ruin whatever you plan to put in it next, or he sort of squirts it into the sink and it just washed away. He is incapable of using a plug.
I'm sure we waste plenty in this house, but the wastage of fairy liquid really irritates.
Plus mouth breathing. I don't think his nose actually works.
I will tell my DC- find someone kind and considerate to be with, honest with integrity and respecting of you. But never a mouth breather.

[mcdog]

Mine acts like he’s the most tired person ever to wake up in the morning. He shuffles to the toilet all hunched up, whilst grunting, puffing, and panting like he’s in excruciating pain (he’s not). It drives me chuffing bonkers!!!!