To be fed up of sexual fetishists on here?

[brasty]

So many threads at the moment that are obviously posters looking for wank fodder. Including disgustingly a fair number to do with children. So fed up of these. And so fed up of so many staying up for several days even though they are reported.

To be fair a hell of a lot of women share their experiences on MN about sexual assaults they have suffered because they cannot talk about it in everyday life. The diary of sex assaults thread was started in good faith to highlight the fact that SA at a low grade level is extremely commonplace and question why women should suffer it.

As a victim of SA myself, I personally am glad that so many women have a place they feel they can share experiences they may never have told anyone else in their lives, and feel they will be believed and validated. I understand that some posters may find them upsetting but life is. What I think would be tragically sad is if loads of people start calling troll and asking for threads to be removed in case someone 'gets off' on it.

As for the media picking them up. I would think it very unlikely. They're too busy exploiting women every day of the week to highlight something that draws attention to the problem of the overt misogyny they are culpable in enabling.

Mummyoflittledragon I don't know- I didn't comment so I am not sure if it has been deleted. It could of course have been genuine and I guess the point is we never know.

I think the sitting cross-legged on the floor one in hindsight was odd because it kept mentioning a 'headmistress' which is a bit old-fashioned- wouldn't people just say principal or head teacher? But I did get sucked in because the OP seemed to be being so ridiculous.

It wouldn’t be a shame at all if “genuine” people couldn’t ask about periods ffs. It would mean that people would go to the doctor or seek other medical advice instead of asking a load of unqualified people and being either scared witless or risking missing something vital. MN is not a substitute for proper help.

If this thread makes people think before they post then it’s done it’s job. You wouldn’t chat to a stranger at the bus stop about your abuse, nor would you gather your entire workplace to discuss your child’s underwear. Ask yourself why not. Because it would be fucking inappropriate, that’s why. Some things should be kept private, and other things should only be talked about with real, trustworthy people who will keep your confidences.

Ask yourself what you are risking by posting every intimate detail on here. It could be used against you in horrible ways. I cocked up yesterday and realised I’d said something which is better kept private. I asked MN to remove it. MN is no longer a cosy little community - it’s a huge gathering of normal people, weirdos, trolls and perverts. Unfortunately, there isn’t any way of telling which one is which.

Ok thanks Papafran. Not surprised the sitting on the floor one wasn’t real.

I commented on that one too :(

I think there is a noticeable difference in tone between a post that asks “I have this problem. What do I do?” and one that goes “I peed all over myself by accident. Share your peeing stories to make me feel better”, for example.

This is exactly it.

I've noticed a lot of period related ones recently - haven't clicked on any, as there seemed to be a whole lot all at once so assumed they were dodgy.
Quite apart from being weird and disgusting to want details about children, it stops people helping people who are genuinly have a problem with their child. It has pretty much closed an avenue of support for people, because everyone is so wary now.

A few years back I posted on a perfectly sane thread about childrens sandals, and got bombarded with weird pervy PM's from a kids shoe fetishist. So it's not just trolls starting threads, it is trolls reading normal threads and then sending PM's to posters.

Bloody hell - a fetish about nappy pins?? This is all so weird. I love a good thread about pants (adult) but only because I'm irredeemably nosy . I may have well contributed to a dodgy thread..

It's a minefield.

So much truth on this thread.

I know brasty. I feel sad for the op. Pathetic and a bit ridiculous.

Genuine people could just say "My periods are really heavy/unexpected, should I bother the Dr with it?". To use Wombling's excellent analogy I could ask that at work. If anyone said "Ooh, how heavy? Tell me if you've ever flooded a Meeting Room chair!" you'd back away slowly and give them the swerve.
Ditto anything to do with child continence issues. Just ask the best way to access help - HV or GP, any specialist services people know about.

Oh, and for future reference, if the teacher won't let your child go to the toilet in lesson time then speak to that teacher. They are the ones who know what the class routine is and can reassure you that your child will not have an accident at school due to that routine. What they won't do, surprisingly to some on here, is go into great detail about all the pupils who have pissed themselves in their class and what/where/who got wet.

It wouldn’t be a shame at all if “genuine” people couldn’t ask about periods ffs. It would mean that people would go to the doctor or seek other medical advice

I disagree. Women often feel that horrendous menstrual problems are something they have to put up with and are unsure about 'bothering' a doctor. Especially considering the number of posts I see berating people for wasting NHS resources.
Many women are fobbed off by unsympathetic GPs who think menstrual problems are to be endured. In both of the threads I saw the poster was encouraged to go to their doctor (or a different doctor) and did so.

While i don't disagree i do think (as im sure many of us do) thats its very sad that nowhere is safe to talk about...well, pretty much anything

You wouldn’t chat to a stranger at the bus stop about your abuse,

Not sure what your point is. Are you really suggesting women only discuss nice cosy subjects on MN then? There are loads of subjects discussed on these boards people wouldn't share at bus stops or anywhere else.

Of course I wouldn't discuss my abuse with strangers at a bus stop. I think you are trivialising women's need to connect to other women who might identify with very difficult experiences as some sort of self-indulgent inappropriate gossip or something.

Similarly there's nothing wrong discussing periods or other things provided it's done genuinely. Sorry but you cannot control people with bad ulterior motives taking advantage. I refuse to be censored because of the twisted desires of other people.

This thread is the reason that I stay with Mumsnet. Amongst all the dross, pervs and oversharing there are a lot of interesting, clever, and perceptive people here. More so than on other forums that I’ve been on.
Anyone that didn’t like the OP’s tone and opinion needs to seriously examine why they don’t mind that seriously unpleasant people get off on things that they (over)share.

As long as posters are aware that there are folk who get off on posts about periods, incontinence, children's underwear, school uniforms, etc etc and stop responding to these people, Mumsnet can get back to being the supportive forum it always used to be.

It's perfectly possible to discuss abuse and feel believed and validated and I think it's really important that people can do that. I just don't think you need the graphic descriptions of sexual abuse (often talking about when the poster was a child and giving ages) to do that.

I think the "could/would I ask about this problem over my lunchbreak at work, phrased in the same way?" test is a good one.

(The toddler and nursery one set my spidey senses off from the word go, because the behaviour itself - detaching that from OP's choice of description using deliberately sexualised adult language - was not one any nursery worker with any experience would bat an eyelid at in a toddler. Having said that I'm sure there are threads where I have been taken in - I tend to give period ones the benefit of the doubt because horrendous periods are a very common experience).

Pool party thread?!.... or am I being over suspicious?

I've posted before in the period ones as I suffer badly and have received help from decent, honest posters.

I typed a reply in the abuse / what have you never told thread then got a hold of myself and deleted my reply.

I’ve clearly missed all this.

Pool party thread?!.... or am I being over suspicious?

Well; I’ve reported it anyway,as it appears to be bollocks.

@HadronCollider I’m not going to get into a pointless circular argument with you. Believe me, the last thing I’m doing is trivialising it. It’s a good idea to not assume that you know anything about me or my life.

What I will say though is that there are plenty of tightly moderated, private boards where you can discuss things like that. Mumsnet is not the place.

Well; I’ve reported it anyway,as it appears to be bollocks.

I did see that one and thought it was an odd question thing to ask, but the poster has a history rather than being a recent joiner so I just ignored it.

I did see that one and thought it was an odd question thing to ask, but the poster has a history rather than being a recent joiner so I just ignored it.

It’s a good example of a goady thread where the OP says something ridiculously contentious and/or mysterious, and then just fucks off. There’s three pages of it now, and the OP hasn’t returned. So why ask the question in the first place? Anyway, it’s for MNHQ to evaluate.

I think MN should step up on the deletions tbh. There is so much trolling on the forum at the moment.