Aibu to be pissed off with passive aggressive seat hogger?

[Tigerpaws57]

Booked my long distance train seat way in advance to ensure i got the seat i wanted.. forward facing window seat with a table as I like it. Really looking forward to an enjoyable journey. Get on train to discover other three seats are occupied by a mum with two kids aged about 8 and 10, table covered in colouring books/snacks/drinks/i-pads etc. My booked seat is occupied by smiling granny who says "I know this is your seat dear but obviously i would like to travel with my family so I am sure you won't mind swapping with my booked seat would you dear?" No choice really was there? Impose myself on disgruntled family or take her seat? So I had a miserable, long, uncomfortable journey in back facing (nausea-inducing) aisle seat with no view

The answer is that "well obviously I would like to travel in the seat I had booked in advance so, sorry but no".

Oh that sucks! People can be so rude!
That being said, it would have been a really awkward journey if you had made her move and then sat with her family! Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

YABU, why didn't you say no actually I do mind? This is why CF get away with this shit and think it's acceptable, people let them away with it.

Ok I think that you did have a choice. But can you say exactly why you think you didn't?

Pick Granny up by the scruff of her coat and throw her forcibly out of the moving train door, all in front of her crying family. That'll learn her!
Sympathies with an insoucant 'what can you do?' shrug.

You would have been totally justified in saying "sorry, no - I get nauseous on trains which is why I booked this forward facing seat". That said I too would have kept quiet and inwardly seethed

The family were rude, but you should have said 'I'd like to sit in my seat please'.

How annoying!
I think I would've said "Well it depends on the seat you've booked, I'm afraid I get travel sickness if I travel backwards, so if that's the seat you've booked, I won't be able to swap with you. I'm sure you understand".

I would have just relpied that obviously we don't always get what we want. I always check for bookings before occupying a seat. If it has been booked I am always prepared to move.

You could have said "Sorry, but I booked that seat specifically because it faces forwards, I get travel sick otherwise; and so that I would have a table on which to spread my book / laptop / belongings. I do therefore want to sit in the seat that I booked, I'm sure you understand." Then sit down, plug in headphones, and studiously ignore the family glaring at you.

But I know what you mean. Sometimes it's not with the aggro of the resulting confrontation because, after granny's opening gambit, you know she wasn't going to move easily.

Yes i had the choice to insist on keeping the seat I had booked but I think it would have been an uncomfortable journey surrounded by a sulky and resentful family.

Would you have really wanted to sit for a long journey with two young children who might not have shut up chatting/whinging the whole way?

I understand why you’d be miffed though.

Would have told her no, I puke if going backwards and she should have booked. Don't care if she wants to sit with her family, she should have been more organised, tough.

I like Silverthorns suggestion best!

I would have just explained that I had booked the seat as I had nausea when travelling backwards so unfortunately wouldn't be able to swap on that occasion. I would say if Granny could find someone else who would swap her backwards seat for a frontwards one then you would swap but wouldn't take it upon myself to do the hunting around.

To be fair, you could have said no.

In the circumstances - and I do not have your issue with rear facing seats- I would not have wanted to be the fourth person with a family group including children and I would probably have been pleased with Granny’s offer.

You are too kind d hearted! I would have made her move, not only do I get travel sick in rear facing seats, the sickness triggers a migraine and I'm incapacitated for a couple of days after.

They should have booked together or booked earlier to get the seats they wanted. Imagine the hassle if someone was in Granny's seat and you tried moving them!

I'd not have insisted either but then I don't get travel sick so wouldn't be so bothered. You could have insisted on those grounds quite reasonably. They should have booked all together or 2 + 2 if they wanted to sit together.

It was the way she went about asking though, wasn't it? Very different to " I wonder if you'd mind awfully swapping seats with me?"

Might not have 🐝 a silky and resentful family, they might have been quite pleased to have a break from pushy cheeky fucker granny, she might treat her family the same way!

Sorry not sure why been turned into a 🐝, my phone just started inserting random insects into my text! Silky should also be sulkey...

I'm sorry - unless there is an equivalent forward-facing seat available, I do make people move. If they want to see me as a cold-hearted witch, so be it.

Why couldn't the family have moved?
I'd have said no.

"Sorry, no, I booked a table seat because I want a table seat, so I can't help you".

I have done it. And I have no issues with backward facing seats - I just prefer a table to a seat-back.

Age and gender are irrelevant. Disability and pregnancy would make a difference.

I would and have said no. Granny moves.

Might not have a silky and resentful family, they might have been quite pleased to have a break from pushy cheeky fucker granny, she might treat her family the same way!

Excellent point. Who knows, maybe she invited herself on the trip and wasn't even meant to be there.