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AIBU?

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Original poster

... A bit upset to be referred to, by a 3rd party, as 'huge'?

552 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 11/10/2017 10:21

Just this....

Someone referred to me as this... You'll recognise her.. She's the huge girl...

Apart from rudeness... At what size does someone become 'huge'.. I appreciate it's all relative etc etx...

PS I'm an (in proportion) size 18-20 and 5 foot 8. So to me tallish and curvy...

OP posts:
RickOShay · 12/10/2017 07:29

So?

ShirleyPhallus · 12/10/2017 07:31

So.... don't say that they're a perfectly healthy size when they're not. I don't give a toss what someone else eats but people thinking that overweight now = healthy is incorrect

ShellyBoobs · 12/10/2017 07:32

'So' saying there's 'no way in hell they're obese...' is probably incorrect.

RickOShay · 12/10/2017 07:37

They don’t look obese, I doubt their weight stops them from living their lives, they look great.

user1471459936 · 12/10/2017 07:39

Yeah, those women are obese. It's very unhealthy to be that size. Also shows that we have lost sight as to what is fat.

ShirleyPhallus · 12/10/2017 07:40

Nobody is debating that they "live their lives". But they are overweight, that can't be in denial.

RickOShay · 12/10/2017 07:42

The women in those pictures are unhealthy?Grin
So women throughout time have never been bigger than a size ten?Grin

haveacupoftea · 12/10/2017 07:43

You shouldn't have posted this in AIBU, home of the competitive eating disorder. Lots of people agreeing that the OP is huge Hmm better to be huge that just plain spiteful.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 12/10/2017 07:45

I don’t get this. Op, how do you carry your weight? I’m seeing these pictures of women wearing my size of clothing but looking slim yet I am taller than them?? I don’t get that at all, like I said I am 5ft 9” and a size 18 in tops and a 16 in bottoms, I look and feel huge and feel out of breath tying my laces. How the fuck anyone can say my weight is healthy is madness.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 12/10/2017 07:46

I agree that the second photo looks as though the woman might be clinically obese. Clinically obese is defined by having a BMI greater than 30. That doesn't mean rolls of fat, it means in some casea being a stone maybe more than ideal.

I once went to a hospital appointment where I had to be weighed and measured. The nurse said in some surprise "gosh, you're clinically obese. You don't look it". I was really shocked as I was 5'5" and a size 14. I knew I was slightly overweight but didn't perceive myself as being "huge". It was the wakeup call I needed though. I lost 2 stone and brought my BMI down to 23.

I agree that being called "huge" is upsetting but I think the OP is kidding herself (Like I was) if she doesn't think she's obese. I think thnk we've lost track of what obese is.

MrsOverTheRoad · 12/10/2017 07:49

Rick what has "women through time" got to do with the fact that the women in the picture are overweight?

And why are you grinning at the notion they're unhealthy?

Looneytune253 · 12/10/2017 07:52

My 13 year old is a size 12 and abs perfect. No flab and not too skinny. Defo don’t think size 12 is bordering on obese though. That’s crazy talk. I also think the people that are describing a size 18 as ok are a bit deluded though. Of course that’s obese. The model in the pics is obese. Because it’s seem more and more it is reprogramming our brains to think it’s normal. It may be normal but it’s defo not healthy.

Disclaimer I’m obese myself. Not for the want of trying to lose weight, I just can’t lose anymore.

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 07:56

Careful @RickOShay if you go on to explain what health problems the whale bone corsets caused in the olden times the fat shamers will self combust in confusion. Grin

user1471459936 · 12/10/2017 07:58

It's not fat shaming. But go ahead and be obese and, statistically, life younger and have more cancers etc. Head in sand.

user1471459936 · 12/10/2017 07:58

*die younger.

RickOShay · 12/10/2017 07:58

well quite Jon Smile
op says we have lost sight of what it is to be fat, I would suggest we have lost sight of what real life women look like. Mmm wonder why?

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 07:59

but I think the OP is kidding herself if she doesn't think she's obese

Only they didn't ask that question. They asked if it was rude to describe someone as huge.

It is.

MiniTheMinx · 12/10/2017 07:59

People choose the characteristic least likely to be disputable. The characteristic most obvious to them, is usually thought to be most obvious to others and therefore the most identifiable. The thing that most obviously distinguishes you from another person.

Cruel, maybe. I have been referred to as thin, whilst a colleague was referred to as huge. Compared to me she is huge. As I am compared to her, I am thin. I don't particularly appreciate being called thin. Although we may have other characteristics which could be used to describe us, our size became the most obvious for two reasons, one it's the most obvious because I was probably the slimmest person, and she was the tallest and biggest on the staff team. Secondly because we both sat at the far ends within a spectrum it became obvious, because other characteristics like hair colour were shared.

Tis tough. But if you are described in this way, maybe reflect on this, you can change this. I was underweight and spent the next 18m trying to gain weight.

SevenSheep · 12/10/2017 08:01

The women in those pictures are unhealthy?

They're not necessarily unhealthy (it doesn't always follow that slim people are healthy and fat people are unhealthy). But they would certainly be classed as overweight according to the BMI calculation (maybe even obese). I say that because I'm also 5'8 and I'm overweight, and I definitely think those women are bigger than me. It's not a value judgement, it's just a fact.

ThePeanutGallery · 12/10/2017 08:02

health problems the whale bone corsets caused in the olden times

That and the number of people who were chronically underweight and malnourished and the health problems they caused.

Flumplet · 12/10/2017 08:06

Yes I’ve been described as that before now by an uncle to my nan. All disguised in mock concern -natch.

Scarily I’m even bigger now. And pregnant.

So what am I now? Gargantuan? Mammoth? Gigantor?!

Some people are just super rude. Ignore and move on

JonSnowsWife · 12/10/2017 08:07

Those who think it is okay to describe people by their physical appearances could do with a lesson in diplomacy from David Dimbleby.

There was once a very heated QT and when taking questions from the audience, instead of saying 'you there wearing the turban', said 'you there in the orange shirt'.

See? It's not difficult to not be a twat.

CalmanOnSpeeddial · 12/10/2017 08:08

I would be surprised if the women in those pictures had waist measurements below 31.5 inches, which is the NHS’s recommended benchmark.

Xeneth88 · 12/10/2017 08:08

These women (pictured) are 5 ft 8 - 5 ft 9, and size 18 , and no way in hell are they huge/obese etc....

They look pretty fat/huge/unhealthy/obese to me. They have attractive faces but their weights are not healthy. An 16/18/20 is not a healthy size to be, its fat, no matter what fluffy words people use.

AccrualIntentions · 12/10/2017 08:11

These women (pictured) are 5 ft 8 - 5 ft 9, and size 18 , and no way in hell are they huge/obese etc....

Of course they're obese. I'm that size and look slimmer than that because I'm slightly taller, and my BMI is in the 30s. You don't have to be wider than you are tall with rolls and rolls of fat to be obese, despite what the headless images of fat people accompanying any news story about the obesity crisis would have you believe. You can look perfectly "normal" and be obese. I did a triathlon (albeit slowly) and fit in jeans from Topshop while obese.

But I still wouldn't describe them as huge because that's fucking rude. And is it bollocks a statement about height, you'd have to be a Borrower to find a 5'8" woman "huge" because of their height.