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AIBU?

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Original poster

... A bit upset to be referred to, by a 3rd party, as 'huge'?

552 replies

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 11/10/2017 10:21

Just this....

Someone referred to me as this... You'll recognise her.. She's the huge girl...

Apart from rudeness... At what size does someone become 'huge'.. I appreciate it's all relative etc etx...

PS I'm an (in proportion) size 18-20 and 5 foot 8. So to me tallish and curvy...

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 11/10/2017 19:51

"I'm sorry but even a size 12 is verging on the big side."

It really isn't. My middle DD needs a 12 because she's got E cup breasts and her Dads shoulders. My youngest wears a 12 because of her hips. They both do free weights and are well toned.

You can be a size 10 and carry excess body fat, but be a 12 and don't.

Statements like that is when it gets stupid.

L0quacious · 11/10/2017 19:51

Yikes., very rude.

We all know huge doesn't mean tall. Tall means tall.

EastMidsMummy · 11/10/2017 19:54

*Being fat is seen as a moral failing in women, its seen as being caused by sloth and greed and is a sign of general depravity where someone has given in to their hedonistic baser urges instead of being steadfast and temperate.

Men do not get treated the same way.*

Yes they do. They get called "fat greedy bastards" just as women get called "fat bitches."

RedForFilth · 11/10/2017 19:57

Describe yourself however you like OP.
I'm 5 ft 5 and a size 12 and I describe myself to people as a big girl because that's how I feel. If you want to describe yourself as curvy crack on.

The thing to remember is, you can lose weight if you want to. However, people being nasty will probably be nasty forever.

Butterymuffin · 11/10/2017 20:05

I'm sorry but even a size 12 is verging on the big side

Bollocks is it.

JonSnowsWife · 11/10/2017 20:06

I'm sorry but even a size 12 is verging on the big side.

What utter bollocks.

AccrualIntentions · 11/10/2017 20:09

Yes it's very rude and I'd feel shit hearing myself described that way.

Try to reframe the comment though. I'm much fatter and shorter than you so I'm not being mean - you are tall and you take up room.

I'm a slightly smaller size than the OP but 2 inches taller. I hate "taking up space". I'd take being fatter if I could be an average or below average height instead. It's only really socially acceptable to be small and fat or tall and thin.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 11/10/2017 20:22

The comment was rude but I have on occasion said the bigger lady/man I don’t mean it to be rude it’s just a pointer of who I am on about. I’m big myself and wouldn’t mind that although I understand others may not, I never say it in earshot. On you being curvy though, I think that’s wrong. I am 5ft 9” and I wear a 16 in trousers and an 18 in tops I am big and I look big, if you carry your weight different I could be wrong but you would be fat not curvy going by your height and size.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 11/10/2017 20:23

Ok I am same height as op and wear 16-20 depending on the shop. If I was described as huge I would be unimpressed. I am sure I am deluding myself and should be miserable and constantly dieting and wearing sack cloth on account of how far and disgusting I am.

But somehow I enjoy my life, love clothes, am fairly active and very strong, love cycling and walking. Just pretty normal really and I don't hate my huge body although I keep thinking I should - I just don't. I don't care about weight, talking about dieting is boring... So if I am considered huge i would disagree I think I am person shaped.

... A bit upset to be referred to, by a 3rd party, as 'huge'?
PetalMettle · 11/10/2017 20:26

When I was a 12 my bmi was 20.7 and everyone was telling me I looked too skinny. Unless you’re 4 foot nothing a size 12 is not verging on the big side

LittleBirdBlues · 11/10/2017 20:27

You look fab bigmouth Smile

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 11/10/2017 20:55

I'm 5'8". When I was a size 12, I was right smack in my normal BMI.

NerrSnerr · 11/10/2017 20:58

I’m 5ft1, I’m currently wearing a size 12 top and I’m a large 12, small 14 in trousers. I’m bordering on obese.

PetalMettle · 11/10/2017 21:01

Ok so maybe I should’ve said 5 foot nothing...
It’s worth remembering that if you covert back across each inch comes out at about 4lbs bmi wise. So a 5’10 Woman should be 40lbs heavier than 5’0 one

ShirleyPhallus · 11/10/2017 21:08

I LOVE that a size 12 is being described as borderline fat

I'm a 12 and certainly not fat!

kateandme · 11/10/2017 21:26

Oh good god.we're fuc*ing doomed and this thread making me want t weep

bigmouthstrikesagain · 11/10/2017 21:33

Kind of you to say that littlebirdblues

Anyway - is the measure of a woman in the waist size of her trousers or the way she acts and impacts the world?

There is no golden ratio for weight and height.

I have found many comments on this thread disheartening. Life is so short and meaningless why waste a second of it obsessing about your thighs? I honestly don't get it - I do empathise with the need to feel good about ourselves but watching my mum dress like she wanted to be invisible and constantly going on about how if she just lost some weight she would be "happy" when it was patently not true. It affected me and made me determined never to be ruled by diets or weight obsessions - being active, enjoying life and staying alive, loving and being useful not self obsessed and self hating.

Describing someone by their weight is far too loaded and so I never do it - "That red head", "the lady with the pony tail", "I don't know her name, she is a bit taller than me and has really green eyes", "the bloke who always has tracksuit trousers and a blue back pack" so many ways to describe people weight is not the only feature that defines anyone.

Butterymuffin · 11/10/2017 21:33

JonSnowsWife Great minds Grin

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 11/10/2017 21:35

Medically,

5ft = 100 lbs
Every 1 inch = 5 lbs

Mammylamb · 11/10/2017 21:35

Wow. The fat haters are out in force today

NashvilleQueen · 11/10/2017 21:43

Just out of interest ....

It is often said that uk women are a size 16 on average. Is it the case therefore that the progression from average to 'huge' is simply two dress sizes?

meltingmarshmallows · 11/10/2017 22:12

I think it’s really rude however is it possible they were talking about your height? It seems awfully brazen to be so rude about someone in that setting. Whilst commenting on appearance is dodgy ground, if she meant you being tall she may not have meant any offence?

ShirleyPhallus · 11/10/2017 22:24

It is often said that uk women are a size 16 on average. Is it the case therefore that the progression from average to 'huge' is simply two dress sizes?

To be fair, 16 is rarely a healthy size in itself. It seems that as a nation we are so used to being on the larger size that very large sizes doing seem unusual

WorraLiberty · 11/10/2017 22:36

There is no golden ratio for weight and height

Maybe not 'golden' ratios but certainly healthy/unhealthy ratios, particularly for parents raising children who will be far more likely to become overweight/obese if their parents are.

So it's fair enough that you don't care about weight, but there are times when it can become worth caring about IYSWIM?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 11/10/2017 22:54

I thought that too melting.