Michelin starred restaurant for pre-school mums night out

[nonwonderwoman]

I don't want to start a Christmas thread in October - but unfortunately that is where this is going.
My DS has just joined a pre-school that is part of a local prep school. There aren't may pre-schools round here and he just goes a few hours a week, but it is a generally lovely non-pretentious little school.
The class rep has just sent round the invite for the class Christmas party which I has previously said yes to as I love a good night out. However, the invite is to a fancy £100 a head Michelin starred place (no drink included - that is just the food!).
AIBU to think this is perfectly bonkers, and not something I want to spend my money on 2 weeks before Christmas, with people I barely know. Plus the restaurant is in the swankiest part of London and we are in the home counties, so it's also a massive trek.
How should I respond? I can't imagine many of the mum's saying yes due to the prohibitive cost - but it's all a bit embarrassing really. What's wrong with tapas at the local pub?

Agree that she's totally read the thread...

Really desperate to know which restaurant it is!

And if she has read the thread she's going to know that the whole of MN thinks she's barking mad !!

What about..'Sorry I can't make it that night due to a prior, would love to get together with everyone before Christmas though, so how about drinks at..'wherever' the week after?'

Why are people suggesting responses when the op has already replied?
Are people just not reading the thread?
THE OP ALREADY REPLIED

I suspect that you will actually become something of a modern day heroine if you send a straightforward email that says something on the lines of "Bloody nora, I was thinking this would be a knees up at the local pub - sorry, that's way too expensive just before Christmas. Anyone up for a night out in the local as a cheaper alternative?"
guilty100 is spot on.

This threat is gold, classic MN

Oh dear - Done it again. NRT all the way through

I must resist the urge .... oh what the heck... bonkers queen bee is marking her territory.

London for a pre school mums Christmas dinner is ludicrous, I can't think of anything worse, having to go all that way with effectively strangers, there is no get out early doors escape if they turn out to be a nightmare.

And the think out of the box - how completely pretentious. Tedium... that's going to be really fun night run for the hills, and do something more interesting with less tedious people instead.

Oops sorry, didn't realise op had replied! Couldn't be arsed trawling through all the responses - seems I have a life but thank you for pointing out the error of our ways 2014! Thank god for you!

Have you heard any other replies?

I know this really isn’t the main point of the thread, but, “tapas at the local pub”?!

Ours does Sunday roasts, burgers & basic pub grub. I’d consider somewhere that served tapas (in the UK) to be posh - never mind your Michelin starred place!

I think 'It's more than I would want to spend right now' is acceptable. You aren't saying that you can't afford it, or saying that you wouldn't consider it in the future. Just tgat right now, you won't spend that much.

I wouldn't spend that on a 1st date with anyone so I don't think it's reasonable to expect a group of women to spend that much on a 1st date.

I wouldn't do 'it's out of my budget' the mums at DD's prep do gossip about things like that, although me being poor is apparently acceptable because I work in a school

I would go with 'sorry, I was expecting it to be more local'

Spending £100 on food is definity not a treat with the pre-school mums! I would estimate £10 for tapas, £30 for prosecco and £10 for a taxi home. These are women you want to get to know by having a few drinks (alcoholic or not), not traipsing up to London and discovering you're having a shit time and can't be bothered to go home by yourself.
To be fair, I do have a phobia of nights out in London because it often takes me nearly FOUR hours to get home. It's only supposed to be a 30 min train journey but it's always that night the trains just break.
So the combination of travel and £100 on food is just
Could you focus on the "keep it local" campaign so more people can go?
Keep us updated!

Hello. Awesome thread. What is a class rep? Like a grown up prefect? State school alumna here.

What normal person wants to spend £100 on a night out at Christmas with a load of up-your-own-backside typez
S

Is this "class rep" an actual role? Or us she just a self appointed alpha mum?

How is it 'thinking out of the box' if it's what everyone else is doing?

I think it’s someone who likes to be in charge and organise stuff like mums nights out and teachers Christmas presents etc.

We don’t have anyone like that at our school thank god, we are in a WhatsApp group and we all suggest where we’d like to go for a night and the majority usually wins.

She sounds awfully try-hard. Is she a footballer's wife?

Well, I will admit to be doing just that 2 weeks before Christmas this year. But we are a close (and small) group of friends and have known each other since our kids were in playgroup (they are now 15).

When we were new acquaintances, our dos were very much everyone (whole class) to a wine bar or a cheap local restaurant.

Assuming everyone wants to pay for a fancy pants meal is just silly when you all barely know each other. And I certainly wouldn't want to embarrass people who might not want to say they can't afford it.

Would do this with close friends...love doing this with close friends.

Nursery mum nights out are usually local pub/restaurants- we all live locally so why schlep into town anyway? Plus, I am happy to suggest fine dining or whatever with friends I know can afford it. I wouldn't for those on a budget. I don't know my (relatively) new nursery mum friends well enough to know their financial circumstances and wouldn't want to make someone feel stressed/excluded by suggesting something ridiculous. Isn't the point of things so people can get to know the parents of the children their children will be going to school with? So you want to make sure everyone is able to go, surely?

I bet you now they have made it so expensive so that only the 'higher class' people are able to afford to attend. I wouldn't be going. I'm not going to my works do as it's £80 a head! I'd rather use that money to buy a new back gate and go to the spontaneous pub gathering on the last day of work that happens every year which is so much more fun than the arranged night

DS1 goes to a prep school and DS2 will follow soon. We can afford the fees (in London) but we have a small mortgage and live in a not huge terraced house. Our prep has mostly professional parents and for our Xmas do we are going out one evening (mums and dads) to a nice local pub for 20 per head. Last year someone organised something that was 40 per head and several of us thought that was a bit much. Plenty of lawyers/doctors/bankers in the mix so it's not about the money but more about being inclusive and not going overboard.

I love posh food and it's our luxury spend over other things to treat ourselves.

School mums night out is Pizza Express and Pinot Grigio.