Michelin starred restaurant for pre-school mums night out

[nonwonderwoman]

I don't want to start a Christmas thread in October - but unfortunately that is where this is going.
My DS has just joined a pre-school that is part of a local prep school. There aren't may pre-schools round here and he just goes a few hours a week, but it is a generally lovely non-pretentious little school.
The class rep has just sent round the invite for the class Christmas party which I has previously said yes to as I love a good night out. However, the invite is to a fancy £100 a head Michelin starred place (no drink included - that is just the food!).
AIBU to think this is perfectly bonkers, and not something I want to spend my money on 2 weeks before Christmas, with people I barely know. Plus the restaurant is in the swankiest part of London and we are in the home counties, so it's also a massive trek.
How should I respond? I can't imagine many of the mum's saying yes due to the prohibitive cost - but it's all a bit embarrassing really. What's wrong with tapas at the local pub?

Yup. Bonkers.

Good reply OP.

Next year get in first.

'All of the other school mums go there'

Oh you KNOW you've got to come back with 'and if all the other school mums jumped off a bridge....'

Like the idea of guiltys post with anyone else up for tge cheap local place.
I suspect if it's anything like our school there is a bunch of mums that like to play oneupmanship with everybody.
It maybe their idea of "keeping the riffraff out" ie the mum's or dad's were 100 or realistically 200-300 once drinks etc are involved is basically what they live on in a week so would never in a month of sundays be able to spend that esp before Xmas

Say you'd rather spend money like that on drink 😉 just be honest, not embarrassed. That's a wicked amount of money. My school staff do is £20 for three courses and bottomless prosecco!

I suppose it represents the demographic of many of the parents attending the pre-school. I suppose its all a mater of perception. To some (and I assume many of the other parents) an £100 dinner is a nice affordable treat.

That's crazy. But I have a feeling the school is a little more pretentious than you think and this is probably the expected kind of thing.

Er no, of those who could view £100 as a nice affordable treat many would still think it a ridiculous amount to spend for a school mum night out. Also £100 without booze is expensive even for restaurants with a star plus.

'everyone else goes there' makes her sound about 12

I've since (and the rest of class) received a message from the class rep that if there are issues with the choice of venue for any reason we should contact her directly (and give honest reasons!)

I'd reply back in the group chat - "This IS direct and honest! I prefer to keep things simple"......and then make sure you use the group chat for every invite you get.
Giving her the control to mouth off about is not a good idea.

She's just pissed off because you didn't automatically fall in line. It probably encouraged the others to speak up too and now she's fuming she's not going to get her VIP night out

I'd be tempted to say 'It sounds great but I'd rather spend extra on my childrens presents than travel so far and spend as much just before Christmas . However if there is ever a local get together ,please count me in x '

Oh, and London in December? You'll never get a cab...

Just reply and say my husbands/partner has just told me his company xmas night out is the same night and it's plus partners and you go every year

Totally ridiculous btw I would spend that on an annual thing with really good friends only

It's a prep pre-school. What did you expect?

It's totally a way of weeding out the riff raff and making sure that all the rich mummies can have their own little clique.

Starched white tablecloths, hushed tones, snooty waiters. Everyone stilted and watching what knife or fork to use, you get the picture.

Have you been to many or is that just what you think its like?

Hyacinth,

Just go and find your china cups with the periwinkles. You will survive lol! Keep away from Onslow though. That could be tough.

I'm blatantly place marking to see what happens next.

tell us the restaurant pleeeeaaasssseeee.........

Her message makes no sense - how is it thinking outside the box if all the other class groups go there?

There is a very good chance that Alpha can afford it less than you can but is trying to prove her credentials to get in with the "right" people, wihou realising how crass she is being. Many fee paying parents have to scrimp to cover the fees, in fact the more "old money" a family appears to be, the less they are likely to have!

We are no fee payers ourself (I wish!) but sent a link to this thread to a friend who is and I wont tell you the exact words she used, but "Oh how naff, tell her to fuck off" would pretty much cover it!

You cant buy class, something she will soon learn.

Just say no. It really is that simple.

@FaveNumberIs2
She already said no.
Rtft. It really is that simple

It’s not as simple as just saying no. The OP is going to be with these women for god knows how many years and might want to socialise with them at some point. If she’s blunt and says no she’s unlikely to be asked again!