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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Michelin starred restaurant for pre-school mums night out

252 replies

nonwonderwoman · 09/10/2017 11:43

I don't want to start a Christmas thread in October - but unfortunately that is where this is going.
My DS has just joined a pre-school that is part of a local prep school. There aren't may pre-schools round here and he just goes a few hours a week, but it is a generally lovely non-pretentious little school.
The class rep has just sent round the invite for the class Christmas party which I has previously said yes to as I love a good night out. However, the invite is to a fancy £100 a head Michelin starred place (no drink included - that is just the food!).
AIBU to think this is perfectly bonkers, and not something I want to spend my money on 2 weeks before Christmas, with people I barely know. Plus the restaurant is in the swankiest part of London and we are in the home counties, so it's also a massive trek.
How should I respond? I can't imagine many of the mum's saying yes due to the prohibitive cost - but it's all a bit embarrassing really. What's wrong with tapas at the local pub?

OP posts:
junglebookisthebest · 09/10/2017 12:17

Guilty's response is spot on...

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2017 12:17

I really wouldn't start arranging a separate cheaper night out as she might get her nose put out of joint. Just leave her to it,it might fizzle out anyway if people can't go.

LewisThere · 09/10/2017 12:17

Have you talked to other mums and how they feeling about it?

In effect, it is entirely possible that quiTe a few of them will have an issue with the plan. But quite a few will find the idea excellent.
I would test the waters before hand.

A PP is right. You will be seeing those women for a lot fo years. Putting things right might be the right thing to do. It might well put you in a hard place for the rest of the primary years.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 09/10/2017 12:19

Fair enough OP. I just like to try and avoid the drama.

puddingpen · 09/10/2017 12:19

Ooh start a rival event... Reply to all saying "Sorry too pricey for me so close to Xmas. Anyone else in the same boat and want to join me at X instead?"

Don't really do that. You will start a war.

SuperSharpShooter · 09/10/2017 12:21

YY to this...

"Bloody nora, I was thinking this would be a knees up at the local pub - sorry, that's way too expensive just before Christmas. Anyone up for a night out in the local as a cheaper alternative?"

I bet loads would be happy with this. And would knock the wind out of alpha mums sails. Kills two partridges with one christmas pudding.

(wanders off to think of better christmassy analogy!!)

EssentialHummus · 09/10/2017 12:21

What guilty said. I’d go with “Sorry, the location and cost doesn’t work for me. If you end up doing something a bit more local, I’ll be there!”

I can practically promise that half the group is thinking WTF.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2017 12:22

Why do you need a rival night? She's arranged something,you don't want to go so leave it at that.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 09/10/2017 12:23

Sorry, the location and cost doesn’t work for me. If you end up doing something a bit more local, I’ll be there!”

THAT is a good reply and covers all bases.

nauticant · 09/10/2017 12:24

“Sorry, the location and cost doesn’t work for me. If you end up doing something a bit more local, I’ll be there!”

I like this too. It avoids entering into competition and at worst gets you out of an over-the-top event.

Wanderlust1984 · 09/10/2017 12:27

DaneDiazepams response was perfect! And far more eloquent than my respond of "fuck that!"

KC225 · 09/10/2017 12:27

Bow out with this reason. I've done it. Would love a night out but know I will not be wanting to schep all the way into Town two weeks before Christmas. If you change your mind and 'go native/local' count me in, if not, I want to see all the photos and hear all the gossip.

Celticlassie · 09/10/2017 12:28

It’ll probably be a relief for the other parents to have someone else say, clearly, that the location and costs just don’t work. Someone has to say it first!

dinkystinky · 09/10/2017 12:30

I like EssentialHummus's response. Class rep sounds bonkers!

Original poster
nonwonderwoman · 09/10/2017 12:30

ok, I've gone for:
[pleasantry chat...] "I'm afraid I'm going to have to say no to the Christmas meal, as looking at the menu it looks amazing but out of our budget. If you do something a bit more local for Christmas celebrations, I'd love to join"

Neutral but to the point?

OP posts:
Subtlecheese · 09/10/2017 12:31

Say you're not able to make day/ time but would be happy to organise drinks in a local pub for anyone else not free on that date. Your event will be a roaring success. Honestly, who wants to go to a Michelin star restaurant with randoms from the school gate?!

nauticant · 09/10/2017 12:33

That's fine OP. Let's see if there's anyone else brave enough to agree.

KERALA1 · 09/10/2017 12:35

Don't mention budget or money it's cringe somehow. The response above about location is perfect.

She's entitled to arrange what she wants - if others feel the same as you it won't happen anyway

EssentialHummus · 09/10/2017 12:35

Good stuff OP. I suspect she wanted to plan a WOW night out but that’s really not what anyone wants/expects from the school gate!

RosyPony · 09/10/2017 12:36

£100 a head for Michelin starred food? Sounds great! I don't get what the problem is? Better than wasting £20 in some crappy chain eating food you could cook better yourself.

Ididnthearanything · 09/10/2017 12:36

You CAN'T be the only who would find this too expensive. I bet loads will row in behind you.
Good response.

IdaDown · 09/10/2017 12:38

It's not just the cost factor, it's the distance.

You can't drink / drive.
Cab will cost a packet unless you share. Then you're stuck if they want to stay late.

All round faff.

nauticant · 09/10/2017 12:38

Don't mention budget or money it's cringe somehow

Gosh, really? In my circles just about everyone will say if something is too dear for them to attend. I've just sent off an email to a mate suggesting a place for a pre-theatre dinner on the basis that it's £13 for two courses.

Original poster
nonwonderwoman · 09/10/2017 12:40

RosyPony you are very welcome to my spot Smile

OP posts:
Vq1970 · 09/10/2017 12:41

I think your response is perfect. You're not trying to step on her toes by arranging something else. I bet a lot more people will copy you and you end up going local!