Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Michelin starred restaurant for pre-school mums night out

252 replies

nonwonderwoman · 09/10/2017 11:43

I don't want to start a Christmas thread in October - but unfortunately that is where this is going.
My DS has just joined a pre-school that is part of a local prep school. There aren't may pre-schools round here and he just goes a few hours a week, but it is a generally lovely non-pretentious little school.
The class rep has just sent round the invite for the class Christmas party which I has previously said yes to as I love a good night out. However, the invite is to a fancy £100 a head Michelin starred place (no drink included - that is just the food!).
AIBU to think this is perfectly bonkers, and not something I want to spend my money on 2 weeks before Christmas, with people I barely know. Plus the restaurant is in the swankiest part of London and we are in the home counties, so it's also a massive trek.
How should I respond? I can't imagine many of the mum's saying yes due to the prohibitive cost - but it's all a bit embarrassing really. What's wrong with tapas at the local pub?

OP posts:
Cupoteap · 11/10/2017 05:16

Oh dear she can feel she's loss Lodi g

LoniceraJaponica · 11/10/2017 07:12

"Nobody thinks any less of you for saying it's too expensive and too far away."

Exactly, and anyone who does isn't worth wasting your time with.

2014newme · 11/10/2017 09:03

That is what the op said. 🤔 perhaps you haven't rtft

Katherine2626 · 11/10/2017 09:46

I wouldn't say 'Sorry I got the dates mixed up' - I would just email/send a note/tell her face to face that you won't be there. No reasons have to be given - it's a busy time of year. This sounds like pretentious rubbish to impress everyone, or set the bar high, or weed out those who can't afford it, or whatever it is it is absolutely bonkers for a get together with acquaintances. We had this kind of thing in the parent's association a few years back - in this case it was most definitely 'look at me I've got a new 4x4, never turn up at the gates in the same designer thing twice and I can afford 'The Ivy' for a Christmas lunch.' I think she went on her own in the end....

NataliaOsipova · 11/10/2017 12:24

No reasons have to be given - it's a busy time of year.

I agree - "So sorry, but I won't be able to make it this time - hope you have a great evening" would be fine. I don't think you have to explain yourself.

shopthenewcollection · 11/10/2017 14:04

Oh fgs read the fecking thread, she replied about 10 years ago..

As for the poster who hasn't had a holiday for at least 9 months... are you possibly the person suggesting the £100 dinner Hmm

MadMags · 11/10/2017 15:30

I don't think she'll get many going! It certainly doesn't sound like it!

I could quite easily afford to pay this, but I wouldn't want to. £100 with people I don't know that well, so close to Christmas?

Fuck that!

Mrsbird311 · 11/10/2017 16:48

People have very odd ideas about prep school, my son went and the other parents are some of my best friends, no way would we shlep miles away for a Michelin started resturant, we always went local, got drunk and stumbled home, we never cared what anyone earned or how much their houses were worth because we’re not dicks!!
Oh and the dads had dads nights out too!!!

2014newme · 11/10/2017 17:09

Surely it's the mum who suggested the night out that has odd ideas, everyone on this thread seems very sensible

Mrsbird311 · 11/10/2017 17:33

People have been suggesting prep school parents are all loaded, stuck up, trying to weed out the riff raff, would gossip about parents not being able to afford £100, the school trying to find out if parents can afford fees by setting up expensive nights out? That is nuts!!

2014newme · 11/10/2017 17:44

I think they're referring to the mum who organised the event not parents in general.

Amongst our friends the ones with children in state schools have far more disposable income because they're not paying school fees.

DaisyRaine90 · 11/10/2017 22:57

Disposable income is the bane of my life 😂 doesn’t mean you can’t afford the Michelin restaurant though. You just have different priorities x

user1476641978 · 11/10/2017 22:59

I live in London so am used to ridcoulosly expensive invites that I can no way justify but that is truly out of order! Right before Christmas with people you barely know!! I don't think you should be embarrassed at all they should be embarrassed to even ask!

hmcAsWas · 11/10/2017 23:02

Any further update nonwonderwoman?

Mumof41987 · 11/10/2017 23:09

Just decline- simple

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/10/2017 23:42

Just RTFT- simple

Original poster
nonwonderwoman · 12/10/2017 08:43

The update is that the class are now looking to book somewhere local, dads are now invited and it will probably be a nice meal at a pub/ restaurant. So a big improvement on the original plan!

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 12/10/2017 08:43

Result!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 12/10/2017 08:45

Nice one Smile

Original poster
nonwonderwoman · 12/10/2017 08:47

Oh and there was no drama like some pp's predicted. The idea was suggested, lots of people said no politely (me included) then the plan changed... and we all live happily ever after and get drunk on mulled wine!

OP posts:
LoniceraJaponica · 12/10/2017 08:51

That's great. How did alpha mum take it?

CiderwithBuda · 12/10/2017 08:59

How civilised. No drama is always good. Hopefully class rep just got a bit carried away and now has a better idea of what other parents want.

IHeartDodo · 12/10/2017 13:22

Wait a minute... was it JUST mums before? Why no Dads? I'd be angry about that too!

Starlight2345 · 12/10/2017 13:55

Great result OP.. While good for a read it is always better in RL if things can be resolved without a big drama.

chaseylayne76 · 12/10/2017 22:33

£100 for a night out with a bunch of women you don't know that well just before Christmas? Stuff that. I'm in my second year of the school run and I think in that time 4 mums have spoken a sentence to me and I've had an evil glare from a mum whose son I helped on the climbing frame once. I know what my answer would be if I got that email lol