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Original poster

To ask if you take offence at someone you don't know that well shortening your name without invite to do so?

136 replies

VladmirsPoutine · 07/10/2017 22:09

Even if your name is something like Elizabeth and 'Liz' would be reasonable or indeed Thomas to 'Tom'. Not as in Charlotte to 'Lottie' - I can't exactly articulate why but I find the latter unreasonable.
My name is a bit of a silly 'made-up' name if you like. I'm named after a capital city so when people shorten it it ends up sounding even more ridiculous.
But do you make a point of saying "Well actually can you call me xxx please" even for your dc?

OP posts:
tehmina23 · 08/10/2017 08:19

It is a bit annoying when patients or colleagues I don't know well shorten my name.

Especially as I prefer my actual name, not the nickname.

It seems to be mainly men who do this.

CoffeeBreakIn5 · 08/10/2017 08:30

I think it's rude to just change someone's name because you can - shortening a name is changing it. how hard is it to check and then listen to the response?!

Takamine · 08/10/2017 08:32

My son has an unusual (ish) name - but the shortened version is very popular.

When he was born the majority of our friends and family defaulted to the shortened version, but were corrected enough times that it stopped. A few told me it would change back when he was older as his friends would likely call him the shortened version- however they never did because he prefers the longer version.

I would have had no problem if he wanted to use the shortened version, but when he was an infant I used to say 'if we wanted him to be x, we would have named him that and not xxx' Grin

Incidentally, his younger sibling has been named a shortened version of a longer name because we preferred the nickname, so rather than giving him the 'formal' version , we gave him the nickname - that also raised eyebrows Hmm

NataliaOsipova · 08/10/2017 08:32

It's polite to call someone by the name they use to introduce themselves - at least until you know them really quite well! If someone says "I'm Elizabeth" then that's what you call them.

I have a good friend from school. When she went to university she was immediately given a nickname that bore no resemblance to her actual name. (Think Elizabeth, but everyone called her Buffy.). When I went to visit her and talked about "Elizabeth", I got blank looks and "Oh, you mean Buffy?". So I asked her if she would prefer me to learn to call her Buffy as well....but she said no! And, interestingly, her husband has always called her Elizabeth as well, which makes me think that she was never wholly comfortable with the nickname in the first place. So I think you should always let people dictate to you what they are to be called.

WhataHexIgotinto · 08/10/2017 08:33

It pisses me right off. I have a name which can be shortened, and is by close friends and family, but I ALWAYS introduce myself with my proper name. I really hate it when people I've just met decide to shorten my name, especially on the phone.

Someone rang me from an estate agents and asked me my name then immediately shortened it. (Think along the lines of Margaret/Maggie).

dippyeggsandtoast · 08/10/2017 08:42

I find it a little annoying when my name is spelt in the masculine way with a Y. But nothing worth getting upset over.

Sparklingbrook · 08/10/2017 08:47

I don't mind that much. Some people call me a shortened version of my name, some call me by my surname with a 'y' on the end.

I take it to be friendly mostly, but it depends who the other person is and they have to have known me a while.

MissClimpsonsTypingBureau · 08/10/2017 08:51

I had a boyfriend who said "oh I hate your name, I'll call you [common shortening that isn't much like it and nobody else calls you]" - so if I was Margaret he called me Daisy. I couldn't get my head around it and then discovered his sister had the same name. Eek.

MrsMozart · 08/10/2017 08:52

Life is too short.

gorygloria · 08/10/2017 08:54

I’m from Liverpool and I do think it’s a scouse trait. We are very warm and informal lot!

thegreylady · 08/10/2017 08:55

I hate the full version of my name which is very 40s/50s and prefer the three letter short form.

Cinderllaspinkdresswasthebest · 08/10/2017 08:55

I totally get you OP

My name is three syllables long and can be shortened to two different names - I always introduce myself with my full name - yet people constantly shorten it and it feels 'intrusive' and 'over familiar'

Close friends and partner/family use the 3 letter shortened version of my name and I like that - not by someone I hardly know/work colleagues etc.

luckylavender · 08/10/2017 09:00

I'm let's say Christine (not my name) & I like that or Chris. I hate Chrissy & I hate people I don't know calling me that - why would you?

PetalMettle · 08/10/2017 09:02

I think it’s rude and overfamiliar. My name is like Elizabeth i.e. can have two shortenings - Lizzie or liz. (Ignore all the others for a second!). I’m called Liz by friends but don’t like it at work and hate Lizzie! I always ask people what they prefer

WipsGlitter · 08/10/2017 09:05

I hate it when people do this. My name has many derivatives but I don't use any of them. One person I work with always shortens it. Very very annoying.

sillyswimmer · 08/10/2017 09:06

I hate it when people shortened my name. I have a unisex name and I was actually named after my grandad. To tell the difference I was always the full name and grandad was the shortened form. I hate the shortened form because to me it's an old man name, plus it's feels like that name was owned by my grandad. I always correct people, even if it seems petty. I always double check what other people want to be called.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 08/10/2017 09:11

Only my family call me by the short version of my name.

Not even my husband or in laws call me the short version.

When an acquaintance calls me it, I don't respond as I don't recognise it as my name outside my v close family.

PoundsShillingsPence · 08/10/2017 09:39

My name can be shortened and thesedays I'm pretty much known to everyone as the short version. I even get letters addressed to the short form. I don't generally mind but occassionally if someone I don't know is getting pushy and too familiar (last time it was a sales rep) I will tell them to use my full name!

holdthewine · 08/10/2017 09:40

I certainly do! Particularly as my name if shortened sounds like a notorious murderer. Imagine I am called Myrase Hindle I don’t want to be called Myra!

MyWhatICallNameChange · 08/10/2017 09:46

I'm called by the short version of my name, no one uses the long version (only my mum did when I was naughty, or formal situations when people don't know me)

I don't mind people I know well shortening my already shortened name. I do hate it when it's someone I barely know. If you don't know me use the name I have told you!

specialsubject · 08/10/2017 09:53

Doesn't happen often, but when it does I just ask to be called what I want to be called. Anyone who refused would be revealed as a dick.

keepmoving · 08/10/2017 09:58

My name is often shortened but I prefer the full version and most people call me the full version. It makes me laugh when people assume they can shortened it, almost out of false curtsey expecting me to say of course, and look shocked when I say no, please call me by my actual name (I’m not so abrupt in my answer, you get the gist ;-) )

LadyFlumpalot · 08/10/2017 10:12

Hate hate hate. Especially when it comes from the type of person who is using the shortened version of my name in a whiny way in order to try and get me to do something.

BitOutOfPractice · 08/10/2017 10:23

I think London is an incredibly cool name. I can’t imagine why anyone would shorten it

EmmaJR1 · 08/10/2017 10:43

Oh god! Pet hate of mine is people I've just met calling me EM - is 2 syllables too long for you then??? I normally don't answer....