To ask the worst funeral behaviour you've seen?

[Fishface77]

I went to a funeral today.
open coffin at home.
People were filing past the coffin to pay their respects when someone decided they wanted to get to the crem in a hurry.
Cue pushing and shoving and the coffin almost fell of the stand. Saved by the mans wife!
Also random women wailing. Seriously no
Need.

I probably would have laughed too

It's not a mocking reaction I just think people get nervous and it's a very unfortunate thing

Mortifying

at a very close family members funeral we had to keep the cost of cars down so had the bare minimum people in them. think children and siblings no bils sils etc. Some random guest turned up with their dd. I had only ever met the older person once and never the dd. They got in the funeral cars for a lift.

Also when we buried our pfb in a very small graveside service someone was late and we felt like we had to wait for them to arrive. Didn't bother me much at the time nor now really but i do think how the bloody hell can u be late for a funeral lol.

At my nan's funeral, my cousin turned up waving an expensive handbag, declaring she'd just been to Milan. During the funeral the vicar said how active my nan had been (she'd been house-bound for 25+ years). After the funeral we quickly realised there was no invitation to a wake/funeral tea as everyone was too busy cleaning their houses. My nan's daughter (my auntie) said thank god it was bin day yesterday so she could get rid of all my nan's stuff - my nan didn't have much but it would have been nice to have been offered a keepsake. The callousness of my relatives left me dumbstruck! Me, my mum, brother and boyfriend went for a meal and talked fondly of my nan and raised a toast, but it was so sad that my dad's relatives couldn't make an effort. Needless to say I haven't been in contact with them since

It wasn't a nervous giggle, it was a shout of laughter and they called out her name derisively. The widow is extremely large and moves clumsily at the best of times. IT was awful.

which one??the one where the mother of the 3 children were being mourned and the drunk mother who had killed them driving drunk came and tried to lay herself ontop of the tiny coffins.or the fistfight she started with my dh.when he very kindly tried to calm and remove her.
and spouting about how pitiful she was her babies had died.went out stumbled to her car and drove of the road.we left her there.

this wasnt a rare thing it didnt matter whos funeral she behaved the same and is in prison for vehicular homicide.

my dh didnt want a funeral,CUE the drama queen sister/
dh and i had sorted out what to do when he a)got so ill we knew it was coming,b) his final wishes.
no one to know until it was for sure he wasn't going to make it.
no funural simple cremation and ashes to where he wanted them
a party to celebrate his life. if i wanted
he went into hospice after a month in hospital.2 weeks into it all,notified sil,she immediatelly started screaming long distance over the phone.why didn't I know.
answer because i did what he wanted.this went on for 10 minutes until i told her to go fuck herself
major attention seeking narcissist(she wants a pink funeral,coffin,flowers etc,she is 70 yrs old)
she shows up convinces hospital staff she is in charge/fixed that real fast
then i get to his room and she has laid a crucfix on him and used oils and holy water on him.
he looked at the cross and then at me/he was not christian/i removed the cross.
after three days of trying to tell me what to do.she left.
and while i was sorting out what was going on and finally making the decision to put him in hospice .she was telling everyone that i had killed him,was having an affair and had one in the wings waiting.
funny that since i was with her daughter ,my darling niece the whole time.
she told me she would notify friends and family down where he grew up.not even close.dh birthday was new years eve,so all that day i had people calling to wish him happy birthday and had to tell them he had died.
on the fine end of things,he was a fisherman,i took his ashes to his favorite places and to the tune of his 3 favorite a/c d/c songs let him go.a small bit of ashes were put next to his favorite dog and cat who had died in the 6 months previous.

I was at a funeral and as the line 'and now we say our final goodbye' and the curtain started closing a very loud phone alarm goes off (the siren type) cue my mother looking down the row eyes blazing like I'm going to kill one of you.... then in slow motion the realisation crosses her face as she then holds her bag to her ear... it was her phone!! Luckily the widow found it funny as it had happened to the deceased before lol

My Step mother actually got in the hearse next to my dad's coffin and waved at everyone as they rode along like she was the queen. Then she cryed out Amen at every sentence the poor vicar said. There is loads more.... The whole thing was a nightmare although we laugh about it now.

Jesus, penny .

Penny I. Northern Ireland I’ve seen people get in beside the coffin. There’s a rumble seat.

Maybe it’s a cultureal thing? Grasping at straws.

When my mum in law died all hell broke loose. Basically my husband, his daughter and his ex partner sat with her while she was dying. We lived over 200 miles away and at the time I stayed at home with our 4 kids. I can't fault his ex or daughter, they were fabulous. But then when she died my husbands sister came back from Australia and proceeded to arrange the funeral. All mum in laws and close families wishes were ignored. My mil loved the film 'The Full Monty' BUT at the funeral it was declared it would be a humanist one (that was fine) but the music was from the film. It was bad enough hearing 'you can leave your hat on' but when the coffin disappeared, 'you sexy thing' started playing. It was mortifying....

😂😂😂 at crimblewick . Mumsnet self righteousness at its best.

My dad’s funeral. He died very suddenly at home at the age of 54 from acute liver failure as he was an alcoholic.

It took him a long time (decades) to even admit he had an alcohol problem. It was very frustrating to watch someone drink to excess and insist he was in control. It wasn’t until he got caught drink driving a year before he died and made to do therapy with a local independent charity.

I looked at his therapy ‘course work’ when cleaning his house out and Read what he wrote. It seem e this charity were amazing, he came on leaps and bounds and he stayed longer with them than the judge had ordered. It’s just a shame it was too late!. I spoke to his therapist who spoke very highly of him. It sounds like nothing but this small progress meant the world to me, and I made the charity the one for collections at his funeral.

His ex-girlfriend (also an alcoholic) was bad news. There was a restraining order on her for my dad as she was harassing him and she had previously had an ASBO to stay away from the street where he lived. I didn’t find this out until the day before the funeral, when so I’d already said she could come.

She came to the funeral and got up to speak, unscheduled, and took out a piece of paper and spoke about how she forgives my dad for everything he did to her, how she wishes she was dead too and when she does die she’ll join him and they can “look after all the kitty cats in heaven together”. I think she was drunk, I didn’t see her after the ceremony. And when the celebrant mentioned that there would be a box for this charity at the end, as it had really helped dad with his addiction, she piped up “yeah right did it fuck”. The celebrant was not impressed, everyone heard. I was furious, I hated her for so long after that.

A friend died young and his parents were told by his awful, narcissistic EX that they had never known him the way that she'd been lucky enough to.

I think of this often as I have a much loved son and if anyone told me that a week after his death, well, I cannot imagine how that must have felt. I wonder where this woman is now and what other forms of destruction she's wrought. I actually feel a bit unhealthy as it was two and a half decades ago!

Not behaviour per se but people who hire a photographer for funerals. I just don’t get it.

WoofWoof So sorry to hear what a horrible experience for you after losing your husband. What is the matter with people who could shout and scream at a bereaved person? I hope you can somehow put it behind you and not stress about it. Many sympathies to you for your loss.

My stepmother had us all back to the house after my fathers funeral and within ten minutes there was a knock at the door and it was a representative from my fathers company come to change my fathers pension over to my stepmother. She had asked him to come that afternoon. Unbelievable.

I'm sure my behaviour could have been interpreted as awful.

I went to a child's funeral in pastel colours when EVERYONE else wore black. I then stood at the front and did the 'actions' to a children's hymn.

So far, so attention seeking, right? I'm sure a lot of the extended family were wondering who this tw*t was.

Except the parents had initially wanted everyone to wear 'happy' colours. I didn't get the message when they changed their minds.
They also wanted a group of us to get up and do these pre arranged actions. Most of this group were too distraught on the day (understandably). So knowing that the parents would be disappointed if no one got up, I did with just two others. It looked less like a flash mob and more like cry for help.

I still feel that butt-clenching, excruciating embarrassment thinking about it now.

There is no excuse for a lot of the outrageous behaviour mentioned in this thread. Maybe there is a back story to some of it though

My condolences to everyone whose grief was further compounded with horrible behaviour. I hope the memories of your loved ones shine and that the pain and distress around their passing fades.

Remembered another one from years ago. A colleague's teenage son took his own life, and we all decided to close the office and go to the service out of respect for her. Foolishly we allowed the boss - a major cokehead - to organise a taxi to take us all, only to find when we were ready to leave that he'd done nothing about it

In a panic I called to find a cab which could come like now and we arrived in the nick of time, leaving him to pay the £12 or so. Clearly worried about the small amount of coke this was costing him, he spent much of the service demanding in an over-loud whisper that we all pay him back

I took a few photos at my mum's wedding. None of her family could make it as they live abroad and they wanted to see it to bring some closure. I felt awkward but knew how important it was to do it. I'd hate to think the other guests were judging me for doing so.

Funeral* obv

When my mother died, admittedly aged almost ninety, my BIL took it upon himself to invite some of his posh friends from the golf club to the funeral and to lunch at his and my sister's place afterwards. They had never met my mother and were very obviously only coming for a free lunch. It created a very strange atmosphere at lunch. We were all a bit subdued and my niece in particular was very upset and crying profusely. We all wanted to reminisce about the recently departed and my BIL's friends just wanted to discuss their golf handicap. It was surreal. They weren't badly behaved in any way, actually they were very polite, but their presence just wasn't appropriate. I don't understand to this day why on earth my BIL saw fit to invite them when they weren't family members and why they in turn accepted the invitation.

One relative was very staunchly atheist, and sadly died.

Unfortunately, his DB was a staunchly religious man (with the sort of fervour only a convert can manage). At the funeral of the atheist relative, the DB decided to stand up and save his soul by reciting loudly, unscheduled and mid-service from the Bible

My parents divorced when I was about 2 I have never met my Father. He apparently had an affair with my Mum's so called best friend. Mum and him divorced and he re-married this woman.

When I was a teenager my Nan died. He thought that me and my siblings had no right to be at the funeral. My Mum was very dignified and stayed at home but sent a card and flowers.

Me and my siblings went to the wake (missed the funeral as my brother was driving and took a wrong turn - but that's another story!).

The wake was at my Nan's/Aunties house. They had one of those cube photo frames. We were talking about the photos with a member of the family and put it back with a photo of me and my siblings showing. All through the wake the photo kept getting switched from the photo of us to his new family. Bit pathetic but there you go - we were kids, they were in their 50's. Not only that but throughout the wake his wife sat on his knee kissing, cuddling and giggling - not at all dignified at your Mum's wake if you ask me but I guess that shows how insecure she was,

Again as an older teen in the 80's and going through a phase of backcombing hair and dressing all in black. I met this guy through a friend who asked me out.

First date was in a pub in town and as we were chatting and getting to know each other more and more people seemed to be joining us. Realisation hit when I overheared a conversation about what a lovely person he/she was.

He had taken me to a wake on a first date and not even told me.

There wasn't a second date.