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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu stingy man?

347 replies

Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 21:50

Had about 10 dates with him.
Paid for myself on each date (which is fine by me)
Tomorrow night he has invited me to his for a Mexican themed night (just me and him)
He said he is making some tacos and I said il bring some starters /wedges/dips,and a few little ready made cocktails.
He said he will buy some tequila for margaritas..then says shall we go halfs on the cost of the margarita ingredients?
I'm sorry but I think that's stingy?
Aibu?

OP posts:
Onecallaway · 07/10/2017 08:51

Why did you have to pay for the cocktails at his place last time ?

Makealist1 · 07/10/2017 08:52

Make an excuse. Stomach bug. Then in a few days time you can say that you've been thinking about things and feel you need to call it a day.

He says he 'never has much luck'. I hate that. Life can be a bitch sometimes, but it's what you make of it that counts --- sounds like he's trying to guilt trip you. That's an abusive trait as well. Fear Obligation and Guilt are really effective control tools. Been there , done the dance.

He even admits he's got loadsa money !

Onecallaway · 07/10/2017 08:52

He can freeze the mince Smile

MessyBun247 · 07/10/2017 08:52

Is that cheeky after he bought mince? LOL Grin You're coming round to his way of thinking! RUN!

HouseworkIsAPain · 07/10/2017 08:53

Oh god he’s probably rinses his mince too

fia101 · 07/10/2017 08:54

Oh no please ditch. Stingeyness and erection problems - he has issues.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 08:54

I've just re read what I wrote about mince Grin
What has become of me Grin
I payed for the cocktails because he asked me too.

OP posts:
Namethecat · 07/10/2017 08:56

My next door neighbour was (WAS) married to a man and they had 2 teenage kids. She was given housekeeping money. Because he gave her the money for food he knew almost to the penny what everything cost, Monday's was cottage Pie, Tuesday's was Lasagne etc for years. He also checked the electricity / gas meter weekly and if it was up one week it had to be less the next. Kids were allowed a bath a week. There are people out there like this. Don't let one like him in your life.

titsbumfannythelot · 07/10/2017 08:56

He sounds like an arse, you deserve better. Don't settle for this awful behaviour,

nigelsbigface · 07/10/2017 08:57

Jesus. Aside from the deep unattractiveness of someone being that tight it's just hard work isn't it-you'd be mentally costing every muffin you ate, and further down the line, every little thing you spent...
Exhausting. There's no future in that.Bin him off.

Runningpear · 07/10/2017 08:58

The half an egg and fake tan should have made your mind up op.
Save yourself the hassle and dump his tight arse.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 08:59

Just read his latest leery comments. Just text him: I sorry this is not working for me, dating you has made me think about who I really want, and its not you.

Makealist1 · 07/10/2017 09:00

I missed the post from Kelly in the text frenzy, about her mum and dad.

Kelly, you sound like a sweetheart. Star Don't replicate your parent's relationship. It didn't make your mum happy, you say. Your dad is lovely, this man probably isn't. He's playing you.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 09:01

Nowonder he has no luck, with his piss poor attitude to women! Sod the mince, he can make himself a spaghetti bolognaise or chilli con carne. That's not your problem, he probably bought the savers mince anyway, tight arse.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 09:05

Thanks everyone ..
I think I just needed others to say that I should ditch him.
I didn't want to do it then wonder if I did the correct thing ..

OP posts:
MessyBun247 · 07/10/2017 09:05

Send him a really honest text. Tell him exactly how you feel, and if he wants more luck with dating in the future he should re-think his attitude towards money.

backintown · 07/10/2017 09:05

Fuck that, I would rather be single for life and die alone, than be with a tight fisted cunt YES this.

He can freeze the mince and save the tequila for his next girlfriend -victim. Have some self-respect and run, fast. Good luck OP.

nigelsbigface · 07/10/2017 09:06

Mince...please don't reduce yourself to worrying about what he could do with the mince...it's not your problem.its not even a problem!!
He can freeze it...or stick it up his jumper to keep him warm when he refuses to put the heating on due to cost.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 09:07

I'm going to use my half margarita cash on a pizza and watch strictly tonight ..
Probably have more fun

OP posts:
RebeccatheOld · 07/10/2017 09:13

Yes, ditch him. I went out with a guy for 4 YEARS (why) who was like this. Everything split down the middle. One day we were at a bar and he had a pint. He whinged at the barman because he hadn't filled it up to the top of the glass. the barman pointed out the pint line which was actually below the top of the liquid. HOW I LAUGHED.

Sorry, life's too short, find someone generous :)

Roussette · 07/10/2017 09:14

I'd be sticking the cocktail shaker right up his jacksy Grin

Is this man for real? Floppy dick and tight as a ducks arse? Seriously, it is the biggest turn off ever to have a man count the pennies like this. I hate hate hate it when someone is so tight like this.

I'm generous and my DH is generous and I love that about him. I had a tight BF once and it got ridiculous because everything we did going out I could literally see by the expression on his face he was doing mental arithmetic and trying to work out if I was fleecing him. I wasn't. I'm a 'you buy this time, I'll buy next' type of person and sometimes that means it's more expensive for you, but sometimes not. Swings and roundabouts etc.

Ditch him after performing jacksy cocktail shaker insertion Grin

butterfly56 · 07/10/2017 09:14

He doesn't have much luck with gfs because he a tight fisted arse.
He is telling you how he expects things to be going forward.
He is not generous and kind.... he is mean and arrogant.
Please don't spend another minute with this half wit...you deserve so much better.

Flyingbellycopters · 07/10/2017 09:16

No Kelly please give him another chance and go through with tonight.

Because the comments on this are making me laugh out loud, and I want to know what you’re offered for breakfast tomorrow! Left over lemon and salsa?

You sound lovely. And funny. And pale is interesting! Ditch enjoy your night in and find someone who is worthy of you (and bonus if they can help laminate a floor!).

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 09:17

He is, dump him now or invent a stomach bug, and in a few days time text him, to say you have been thinking, and its just not working for you.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 09:19

Whilst you are at it, I would give him a low down on why he is not very successful with women.

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