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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu stingy man?

347 replies

Kellyohojn · 06/10/2017 21:50

Had about 10 dates with him.
Paid for myself on each date (which is fine by me)
Tomorrow night he has invited me to his for a Mexican themed night (just me and him)
He said he is making some tacos and I said il bring some starters /wedges/dips,and a few little ready made cocktails.
He said he will buy some tequila for margaritas..then says shall we go halfs on the cost of the margarita ingredients?
I'm sorry but I think that's stingy?
Aibu?

OP posts:
Emilybrontescorsett · 07/10/2017 08:01

Bloody hell he sounds a right catch.
Don't go over to his, tell him you have a better offer, watching paint dry.

KarateKitten · 07/10/2017 08:02

Ok Kelly, I think you know what to do😅

NancyDonahue · 07/10/2017 08:07

Buy some viagra and send him a pic of the price asking for half Wink

Mustang27 · 07/10/2017 08:10

Ok the stinginess is the pits but to tell you to fake tan!!! Just run I was a bit Hmm when pp started down the abusive traits chat just due to the cheapness but they were absolutely spot on if just a little premature on the assumption. This sounds like he could end up very abusive this is similar to how my exh started.

Just to clarify RUN!

abigailgabble · 07/10/2017 08:13

that is SO unattractive

abigailgabble · 07/10/2017 08:14

urgh WHAT just read your latest. HOW IS THIS EVEN A QUESTION? you can do so much better. believe that because it’s true!

Aeroflotgirl · 07/10/2017 08:28

His behaviour is extremely unattractive and penny pinching. Who does that! If he's broke, he can cook something simple and have soft drinks, not calculating every expense. It will only get worse several years down the line if you have kids.

He can't even treat you! I woukd make my excuses and not go, ditch him. How you put up with that for so many dates, I don't know. Thought he would be trying to impress you, your still in the dating phase.

Revenant · 07/10/2017 08:31

@donajimena he also used to carry his change in a little purse this would be the end for me Grin

ChocolateCupcake123 · 07/10/2017 08:34

Not sure why you're even asking, you know the answer.

I certainly don't expect men to pay for everything, it's roughly half, but it's certainly nice if they offer. But I would never dream of charging someone to come over for dinner!! That's just weird!

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 08:34

In going to make an excuse tonight ...
I bet he says something about the price of his mince.

OP posts:
ememem84 · 07/10/2017 08:34

ICk.

I don’t expect to be treated all the time and have no issue paying my way. But no way would I put up with that. If he bought dinner one time, I’d get the next one. If I’m hostjng I sort food. No way would I send guests a bill...

I’d probably get a taxi to his, send him your receipt for it. If you do take “sexy clothes” maybe buy new and charge him for them. Or just don’t go.

Incidentally. If we get a take away (Indian or Chinese) we never get rice - unless we want special fried rice. Plain boiled rice can be done at home.

Pooshweens · 07/10/2017 08:36

So unattractive, get rid!!

Onecallaway · 07/10/2017 08:37

Fake tan? Sexy clothes? You're not even getting a decent shag out of it.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 08:38

I'm the same I always pay my own way too,the margarita thing for me was just the final nail in the coffin I think.
The first time I went over he asked did I want some cocktails from the supermarket ..he said they were £13 altogether was that ok?
So insisted then I pay for them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 08:39

If me and a friend go out for a cuppa and a cake we will say
"Il get this one and you get the next "

OP posts:
FluffyWhiteTowels · 07/10/2017 08:39

Oh he sounds dire.

SteampunkPrincess · 07/10/2017 08:41

Did you take home half of any left overs

LucieLucie · 07/10/2017 08:41

Has he ever had a partner before?

Does he live in a high cost area?

I guess his salary as a council housing officer will be less than £30k a year...

But then there’s the demands for fake tan and sexy clothes and the limp cock... 🌾 No.

Are you going to speak to him @Kellyohojn?

Gunpowder · 07/10/2017 08:42

Ugh he sounds absolutely horrific. So glad you will cancel, although a live thread would be very funny. Grin

Makealist1 · 07/10/2017 08:42

Ahem .... he's not only OTT tight [ strangely ?] --- but he's also criticising your appearance, demanding you dress up 'sexily' [ so if he can't get an erection, presumably it will be your fault ? ] . What next ?

I'd run a mile. Sounds abusive to me. And not rewarding [ at all ?] Being single may have it's downside, but it also has it's positives. Enjoy your opportunities to do what you want when you want. And to be who you are. Pale [ fair, not orange Wink ] but generous.

Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 08:45

He has never had a long term gf no.
Told me he never has much luck.
He lives in a council property (I'm assuming cheaper rent,not sure tho so don't quote me on that)
He always bangs on how much spare cash he has and is putting it away for a rainy day.
My salary is £21,000 a year and I have enough left to treat myself etc (I'm up north so a lot charger than down south for example)
I don't even know what to say ..I was just going to make a excuse ..
Is that cheeky after he bought mince?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kellyohojn · 07/10/2017 08:47

My dad (I love him to bits ) is tight.
My mum never got treated like she deserved and never got spoilt or had much money ...

(My dads kind tho just penny pincher )

OP posts:
SenoritaViva · 07/10/2017 08:49

Definitely bin! You'll find someone better Flowers Brew Cake I'll get these, you get the next (as normal people say)

Bonez · 07/10/2017 08:50

If it bothers you that he doesn't pay for everything then stop seeing him.

Ellendegeneres · 07/10/2017 08:51

Cheeky after he bought mince!

Sweetheart, you are under no obligation to ever see anyone ever again. He can use the mince for another meal for crying out loud.

Send a text now, no bottling it.

Hi x, I've decided not to come tonight. Been thinking about it, and we're not compatible, so good luck with future dates and all that but this is the end of the road for us.

Simple. To the point.