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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Harvey Weinstein

993 replies

caperberries · 06/10/2017 09:17

Rumours have been circulating about this disgusting man and his sleazy casting couch for years... He has offered a half-hearted apology, but seems rather smug about the fact that his family are supporting him.

AIBU to think his wife is misguided? What sort of example is she setting to her daughter? After all, this isn't a one-off - it is a pattern of serious abuse of women over decades.

www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/us/harvey-weinstein-harassment-allegations.html

OP posts:
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noblegiraffe · 16/10/2017 18:49

Hollywood isn't going to get any better if people who worked with Polankski and are now condemning Weinstein aren't asked to justify this. He's a known child rapist who couldn't even come back into the country to collect his own Oscar because he'd be arrested.

People who choose to work with him should face tough questions. 'Oh, isn't it terrible, I just found out Weinstein is a rapist'. 'But you knew Polanski was one and still worked with him?'.

Obviously men and women should be asked, not just women. Working with a known rapist should ruin your career as much as turning down Weinstein.

Datun · 16/10/2017 19:22

Obviously men and women should be asked, not just women.

I agree with that, wholeheartedly. But it’s the women on whom the spotlight is turned. Not the men.

Why?

noblegiraffe · 16/10/2017 19:27

Because his victims were women, I guess every woman that has ever worked with Weinstein is now getting phonecalls asking if he did it to them, so they're saying their piece.

Men who have worked with him have commented, of course, but what the papers want is salacious detail.

Datun · 16/10/2017 19:39

I agree it’s salacious detail. But we don’t have to buy into that.

noblegiraffe · 16/10/2017 19:55

Although I guess actors are just doing a job and there's no requirement for them to actually answer questions.

What would be more effective is to hit the real moneymakers. Maybe if cinemas refused to run a Polanski or Allen flick, if critics refused to review them, if people didn't go to watch them, then maybe their careers would be over.

PinkTiger · 16/10/2017 19:58

The spotlight is veering the wrong way. It should be firmly and illuminatingly on the men

I don't agree with this at all. The problem is not just the behaviour of men. It is a massive culture of collusion. This is a HUGE part of the problem and also needs to be in the spotlight. On one view it is actually the only problem because otherwise this behaviour would have been treated as criminal and prosecuted and shut down a long time ago.

I agree with noblegiraffe that Obviously men and women should be asked, not just women. Working with a known rapist should ruin your career as much as turning down Weinstein.

I think there are plenty of men who are in the spotlight and being asked to respond and/or are being called out. I don't agree it is just women at all.

Matt Damon, Russell Crowe, Seth MacFarlane, Colin Firth are some headline examples but there are lots more see:

www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/4664938/harvey-weinsteins-friends-shameless-silence/

deadline.com/2017/10/harvey-weinstein-woody-allen-comments-sad-witch-hunt-1202188712/

www.theguardian.com/film/2017/oct/10/colin-firth-harvey-weinstein-kings-speech-sexual-harassment-claims

www.theguardian.com/film/2017/oct/10/harvey-weinstein-film-director-paul-feig-hollywood

I don't think you can excuse Winslett's hypocrisy on this basis or say this is a wrong spotlight focus. It's bang in the middle.

hollyisalovelyname · 16/10/2017 20:06

PinkTiger
I agree with you re spurts Morgan. I am really disappointed with Kate Winslett, Meryl Streep and Hilary Clinton ( not surprised about HC though seeing as she put up with Bill's disloyalty because of her political ambition she loved him).

hollyisalovelyname · 16/10/2017 20:07

Spurts Morgan aghhhhh blinking autocorrect
Piers Morgan.

PinkTiger · 16/10/2017 20:09

Spurts Morgan

LOL. Brilliant Hollyisalovelyname!

derxa · 16/10/2017 20:11

Kate Winslet has always talked shit. It's all about her.

southeastdweller · 16/10/2017 21:11

I wonder if Kate Winslet would have stopped working with HW if she hadn’t won the Oscar for The Reader? The general ‘poor me’ tone of that article leads me to doubt she would have.

InigoTaran · 16/10/2017 23:41

A Hollywood screenwriter: “ Everybody fucking knew”....

deadline.com/2017/10/scott-rosenberg-harvey-weinstein-miramax-beautiful-girls-guilt-over-sexual-assault-allegations-1202189525/amp/

quercuscircus · 17/10/2017 02:54

Re Winslet et al, this is a key moment.

If they utterly condemn his behaviour and reflect upon and talk more honestly about their experiences across the board, they will 'win' this for the rest of us. If they minimise and equivocate then the majority can say well if some women don't really think this is a problem then.... the classic divide and conquer strategy and it will all be much as before.

I think Winslet is fortunate to be an obviously outspoken character and so perhaps not an ideal target for men like Weinstein. But sometimes this means that women like this don't really 'get it' and somehow buy into the victim blaming attitude of "oh, well I was able to protect myself, how come everyone else can't, it must be something they are (the women) are doing wrong". I think she comes across as very unknowing as a person and from a very blinkered world. They say you have to be driven and single minded to succeed in HW and I guess being able work with like Polanski is the epitome of that.

So whilst I absolutely agree that it is brave to speak out but not necessarily cowardly not to, now that they aren't having to be on the front line of whistle blowers themselves, those actresses/ women really do owe it to the rest of us to take a proper look at what they have been and are doing.

This won't be over until we also stop the women who enable and/ or collude with these men.

HadronCollider · 17/10/2017 03:38

Why is Kate W getting such a hard time? Did I miss something? I thought she was quite condemning of HW, she did say she could only judge him personally as a workplace bully as she had never been subject to his sexual harassment but that he was completely odious. And I don't think her not thanking him was a trivial thing either. The pressure would have been considerable. I imagine the group pressure is huge. Especially at Oscars. It's why you have these awful photographs of so many actresses the bastard did actually abuse smiling uncomfortably at the camera with him at award shows. Feeling like they had to pretend everything was good. To endure this mans swarmy yucky hugs. It's an incredibly cliquey atmosphere.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 17/10/2017 07:12

That's really interesting what Scott Rosenberg wrote. When he is saying everybody knew I believe they didn't know the extent of his violence but they knew he was a predator. And we don't want to think the worse of people we like and we can all be guilty of turning a blind eye when it suits us to

I am glad someone from his inner circle has spoken out so honestly because those that have spoke out with their shock false horror should be ashamed becuase they are more interested in protecting themselves and their reputation than supporting the women that are speaking out

whatathingtosay · 17/10/2017 07:31

I think comments about "collusion" hugely underplay the role of power in this behaviour. This could happen, in part, because the structure of Hollywood is such that a few men have too much power. If your career and your profile depend on a sexual predator's say-so, you are more likely to keep quiet about their behaviour. You're incredibly naive if you think it's easy to speak out - I have been a whistleblower against a guy who was a sexist and a racist at work and it was one of the most awful experiences of my life, and I would never, ever recommend any other woman do it - I basically lost my career over it and even though I "won" I actually lost in terms of the health impacts and the anxiety and the stress and the job. The onus should not be on those who have everything to lose reporting and speaking up. The onus should be on creating power structures that are more egalitarian: and this means PROMOTING MORE WOMEN TO THE TOP JOBS and ensuring that power is distributed and accountable, and putting structures in place that ensure that complaints can be investigated with some modicum of protection for the less powerful party.

More widely, we need work to change the behaviour of the people who commit these crimes, and make it easier for girls to report it as wrong. Sexual harassment is wall-to-wall, to the point that I would find it difficult to believe that ANY woman could reach the age of 25 and not have encountered at least one incident of this - for me, in my teens, it was almost a daily or weekly occurrence. At my school, men groped women - be it young boys, or male teachers - I would have my body touched inappropriately several times a month and it didn't even register to me as something that shouldn't be happening. I think the tide is turning, but we have a very, very long way to go.

One of the major things is simply not accepting misogynist views or behaviour in men. It's striking on here that everyone thinks this is somehow the fault of the women for not speaking up, yet when it comes to a thread about a man doing the washing up, it suddenly becomes a total impossibility to get parity in the household for domestic labour - and there are literally dozens of women excusing and justifying an uneven split where a man sits on his arse all evening after 8 hours of waged work, while a woman works a 16 hour day. It's interesting how many women accept that men "just don't get" feminism, "just can't buy" presents, "just don't see" sexism. These are people's husbands and their sons, and they are accepting this behaviour, yet simultaneously complaining that actresses haven't stood up to an omnipotently powerful Hollywood mogul.

We all need to stand together. Men can cook, clean, buy presents, organise, and do childcare just as much as women. We need to expect better.

annandale · 17/10/2017 07:43

There are men who think that women collectively owe them a certain amount of sex. If they feel ugly or unpleasant or like they are just not being given enough, they consciously or unconsciously use whatever they have access to to take it.

hollyisalovelyname · 17/10/2017 08:32

Inigo
Powerful piece from Scott Rosenberg

KERALA1 · 17/10/2017 09:13

Scott Rosenberg's piece is so obviously the truth. Whats that cliche (that is true). Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

chewiecat · 17/10/2017 09:27

Wow Scott Rosenberg Shock
Everybody fucking knew
Is it so surprising though?
They are certain men in my workplace that we knew were sex pests.. but nobody does anything

KERALA1 · 17/10/2017 10:30

I remember going into a meeting with a senior American lawyer, before we went in she whispered to me "I am going to say stuff, don't feel you have to back me up it'll be career limiting for you". She let rip and told all the partners what they already knew about sexism in their firm. No female partners, the sexist comments, all detailed. They were terrified and spluttering. The next day she handed in her notice - she had new job as senior counsel at one of their clients so they all had to creep round her as she decided which law firms got the work.

Nothing changed though.

reflexfaith · 17/10/2017 10:43

I agree great piece by Scott Rosenberg, it reminds me of Jimmy Savile.... the way that he used all the beneficent gestures (his charity work etc) to get away with sexual crimes and abuse

whiskyowl · 17/10/2017 10:47

kerala - I'm not a lawyer, and I'd be interested to know whether you think there would be legal recourse here. I wonder if it would help if there were some greater managerial responsibility for this, e.g. if sexual harassment is pervasive under someone's watch, they can go to prison - a bit like if someone flouts health and safety laws as a boss, they can be personally held accountable. Along with the perpetrators of this being punished more severely, it could be quite effective at producing a culture change??? But there may be something like this already in place?

GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 17/10/2017 14:18

Updated allegations (as of 17-10-17) Alleged harassment/assault often took place in hotel suites or offices or private residences/rooms. Some at Cannes, Sundance, Venice, Toronto film festivals. Complainants included actresses, assistants, interns, models, presenters, a producer. 'Bargaining' was a ploy in many cases as was presenting himself in a bathrobe or naked or in the bath and often took place in hotel suite meetings where women were sent up to the room from the original venue or accompanied by assistants who were then told to leave.

  1. Amber Anderson - was offered opportunities in return for sex - 20
  2. Lysette Anthony - rape - London her home
  3. Asia Argento - demanded massage, forced cunnilingus - 21
  4. Rosanna Arquette - attempted forced masturbation
5.Jessica Barth - propositioned naked massage in return for opportunities
  1. Kate Beckinsale -interviewed her in his bathrobe - 17
  2. Zoe Brock - exposed himself/demanded massage/chased -23
  3. Liza Campbell - naked in bath during meeting
  4. Emma de Caunes - exposed himself/told her to lie on bed
10. Cara Delevingne - asked her to kiss another girl, kissed her 11.Florence Darel - propositioned her, roles for sex - 26 12. Sophie Dix - demanded massage, exposed himself, tried to pin her down, masturbated in front of her - 22 13. Dawn Dunning - offered jobs in return for threesome - 24 14. Alice Evans - told her now husband's career would stall/HW wanted to touch her breasts (Evans and Ioan Gruffud were never offered another picture with Weinstein studio) 15. Lucia Evans - forced fellatio 16. Angie Everhart - awoke to find him masturbating - yacht 17. Claire Forlani - massage suggested, she rebuffed him 25 18. Romola Garai - interviewed her in his bathrobe - 18 19. Louisette Geiss - appeared in bathrobe, asked her to watch him masturbate - 20. Louise Godbold - demanded massage 21. Judith Godreche - demanded massage, pulled at her - 24 22. Trish Goff - groped - private dining room 25 23. Heather Graham - he inferred sex for roles 24. Eva Green - groped, had to push him off, threatened her career 25. Ambra Guttierez - groped breasts 26: Lauren Holly - exposed himself, demanded massage 26. Angelina Jolie - unwanted advances 27. Ashley Judd - demanded massage, asked her to watch him masturbate 28. Katherine Kendall - demanded massage, exposed himself, chased - 23 29. Minka Kelly - offered her a $ lifestyle if she would be his girlfriend 30. Mia Kirshner - unwanted advances/inducements 31. Mylene Klass - offered a sex contract 32. Laura Madden - demanded massages 33. Sarah Ann Masse - interviewed her for nanny job in his underwear - 34. Rose McGowan - (NDA) rape - 23 35. Emily Nestor - offered her mentorship in return for sex 36. Lauren O'Connor - harrassment (NDA) 37. Gwyneth Paltrow - demanded massage - 22 38. Zelda Perkins - potential harassment but settlement 25 39. Sarah Polley - insinuated to her contracts for relationship 40. Tomi-Ann Roberts - naked in bath - 20 41. Erika Rosenbaum - he masturbated stood behind her 42. Melissa Sagemiller - demanded massage, blacklisted her - 24 43. Lea Seydoux - lunged at her 44. Lauren Sivan - masturbated in front of her in restaurant 45. 'Sarah Smith' (pseudonym) - sexual assault 46. Mira Sorvino - unwanted massage/chased 47. Tara Subkoff - pulled her onto his lap/blacklisted 48. Paula Wachowiak - exposed himself, demanded massage - 25

Plus five more anonymous = 54 women
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GorgeousLadyOfWrangling · 17/10/2017 14:21

Sorry, typo at addition of Lauren Holly. Should be numbered to 49.
Only one site appears to be even trying to collate
www.vulture.com/2017/10/the-harvey-weinstein-sexual-harassment-assault-accusations.html