Harvey Weinstein

[caperberries]

Rumours have been circulating about this disgusting man and his sleazy casting couch for years... He has offered a half-hearted apology, but seems rather smug about the fact that his family are supporting him.

AIBU to think his wife is misguided? What sort of example is she setting to her daughter? After all, this isn't a one-off - it is a pattern of serious abuse of women over decades.

www.nytimes.com/2017/10/05/us/harvey-weinstein-harassment-allegations.html

Can you imagine the week after he Las Vegas massacre, jokes about "good job the shooter did not come here" or some such.

And then say the joke was on the shooter?

No, me neither. Because men's pain is not routinely downgraded.

I’m so glad people are speaking up. Women, particularly. It’s so normalised in society that it’s always expected.

All men need to understand this happens. They need to understand that women think it’s normal and it’s unacceptable.

Harvey Weinstein is a pig. But no one, least of all women, are surprised.

I really hope this is going to start a change in the tide for how women are treated.

I hope the nasty fucker rots

I'm not on social media but appreciate the sentiment, the same as the twitter boycott last Friday. As I said earlier in the thread, me too.
But when I look back, the amount of crap an average woman takes is staggering.

1 Breast exam where GP made a meal out of it - 15 yrs
2 Creepy ''uncle'' non-relative inappropriate comments - 16 yrs
3 In hindsight coercive bf - 16 yrs
4 Bloke trying to take advantage when drunk - 18 yrs
5 Relative's ex trying to take advantage - 19 yrs
6 A date got his penis out - 19 yrs
7 Another date had to be forcibly pushed away - 19 yrs
8 Followed off a train - 20 yrs
9 Train inspector hand on knee - 20 yrs
10/11/12 Solicited three times for sex - 20 yrs/24 yrs
13 Colleague came on to me in stock room - 24 yrs
14 A drunk friend had a grope - 24 yrs
15 An ex began having sex with me when asleep - 24 yrs
16 Mechanic made me feel uncomfortable - 24 yrs
17 Colleague inappropriate in my home - 24 yrs
17/18 Bottom pinched - 25 yrs

18 times men have acted like twunts. Women are brought up to be polite/laugh things off/minimize. It is crazy.
8 and 17 scared me. The rest I was able to get angry about/brush off/compartmentalise. I consider my radar to be good as well.
Shit it is depressing.

Who came up with the "me too" idea? It is an excellent idea.

ZooeyAndFranny

Guardian article, explaining the origin.

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/oct/16/me-too-social-media-trend-highlights-sexual-harassment-of-women

Women are brought up to be polite/laugh things off/minimize. It is crazy. I thinks that's been a sort anthropological protective mechanism. A sort of 'He may be unpredictable, fly off the handle, become aggressive, so placate him by attempting to remain friendly sort of thing'. I can sort of see how it would have been useful in the 1800s maybe. But now? That time has past.

Hadron I think it's more to do with the fact that women have had to rely on being "marriageable" or useless really.

For centuries, women were owned by their Father and then their husband.

Look too lively or opinionated and nobody would marry you...meaning you either stayed at home...a woman of no importance...a spinster with nothing to do but care for your parents OR if working class, go and carry on alone working for not much at all.

So the idea that we mustn't appear too much...has been so ingrained it's hard to get out of.

I'm wondering how many more women out there who he coerced successfully are now keeping quiet and feeling ashamed. How many more out there are keeping quiet?

I know what it's like to be in their shoes, when there is such a wide power gap, it must seem so daunting to say no.

I remember as a young girl, as a teenager, being coerced into sex by an older man. I still feel shame and revulsion over it. I couldn't say it was an assault because I didn't say no.

He separated me from my friends and bundled me into his car, drove me away and asked me to give him a blowjob. I did it because I was alone , I didn't know where I was and I was scared. I didn't say no. Is that rape still? I don't know

Maybe because HW MO is so similar to my own experience, I am really following this case closely.

chewie cat That's definately rape. Even if you 'agreed' (which you couldn't possibly). You were terrified and alone in the company of a predatory, exploitative powerful, and perverse man. You did what you had to do to ensure survival Stop blaming yourself. What would you tell your daughter if she found herself in a similar position? Is there anyone you can confide in in real life? They'll help put this in perspective for you

Interesting article by a man about how it’s men’s job to call out other men on their misogyny and sexual abuse. It’s so unusual to hear men talk like this, I can’t believe how much has changed in the last week!

www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/life/as-men-its-our-job-to-challenge-the-culture-that-enables-people-like-harvey-weinstein

Women are brought up to be polite/laugh things off/minimize

Has this been linked to yet?

He points out that the two main responses to danger always referenced, fight or flight, are the two most commonly experienced by men but that there are three others - freeze, friend, flop - which are more commonly experienced by women. They just aren't treated with as much respect.

I'm depressed at how this whole thing is being outright enjoyed by people on sites like the DM. Leering over pictures of actresses, wondering "what she had to do" to get roles. One commenter said "I don't think I can ever look at a Hollywood actress with respect again now I know..." It's crucial that the narrative isn't allowed to swing in that direction unchallenged. But it will suit the power brokers in Hollywood if it does, they still have many very rich and powerful (and gross) men to protect, so I'm anxious to see what happens next...

I don't often agree with Piers Morgan but I think here there is a lot in what he says:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4984868/PIERS-MORGAN-Kate-Winslet-s-hypocrisy-Weinstein.html

This is a way bigger problem than Weinstein in that industry.

Reading the #metoo hashtag on twitter is heartbreaking but I can’t help but get annoyed at the few on there who are STILL trying to make this about men with their ‘men are victims too’ spiel. Yes, some men are victims, mostly of other men, no one is stopping them from joining in with the campaign but there’s no need to make a song and dance about it. Especially when there are far, far more female victims than there are Male.

Women have been silenced for centuries, just let us have this one platform to share our experiences without crying about how hard done by men are.

Thank you hadron
It's difficult to talk about still

I think that's why Mayim bialiks article really grates , because it's almost like the victims bring it upon themselves

PinkTiger

That article about Kate Winslet was interesting, because I’m not sure what I think. I did get a negative feeling when I read how she had deliberately not thanked him at her Oscar award. Because I thought if you really believe he did something heinous, not thanking him is pretty paltry. And she did sound, from what I read, very determined to paint herself in the light of an opposer.

On the other hand, isn’t this entire issue about the power that these men wield? It’s precisely because they have power that they can abuse women. And that exact same power stops women from speaking about it.

So I don’t blame women for not speaking about it. But when they do, I think it’s incredibly courageous. That doesn’t mean that when they don’t, I think it’s cowardly.

Polanski and Allen? Their victims are out of sight, out of mind. So very long ago. One married him, one doesn't want it to be brought up any more. To be in a Polanski film isn't putting yourself at personal risk.

Polanski and Allen? Their victims are out of sight, out of mind. So very long ago.

That's not the point Morgan is making. He is saying that the conduct of both Polanski & Allen are just as bad as Weinstein.

He is saying Winslett in making the public statements she did abut Weinstein is an utter hypocrite - because (a) all she did was "remain silent" (ie. not thank Weinstein) and (b) far from remaining "silent" as regards Polanski & Allen she went out of her way to publicly laud them.

Datun

Because I thought if you really believe he did something heinous, not thanking him is pretty paltry.

Exactly.

Well yes, not thanking him is fine. It’s good. Using it to virtue signal is hollow. It’s too sparse. Either do it and don’t mention it, because it’s so small, or say you wish you had done more.

Not thanking someone because you think they’re a raging abuser is a fairly low bar. Using it to paint yourself in the (possible) light of a champion for women is bit of a reach.

And in terms of the power dynamic, she says she didn’t get involved in any of his projects thereafter. So his specific power dynamic didn’t affect her. On the other hand, that’s not to say that speaking out wouldn’t have affected her career in terms of other producers.

I’ve got splinters in my arse from all this fence sitting.

Something just got shared into my fb feed.

There is actually a website called fish4hoes.com. Can ppl not see this is part of the problem.

FFS

Pink Of course Polanski and Allen are as bad as Weinstein (who has not, so far, been accused of sexually assaulting children).

I am sure that Winslet, when choosing to work with Polanski and Allen was putting self-interest above ethics. She didn't thank Weinstein because he was horrible for her to work with. Polanski and Allen just raped and abused other people.

I don't like the way the media is training its lens on women - Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet. You can tell female actresses are under a deluge of requests for interviews and statements, from their fans as well as media outlets, but it's not necessarily a good thing, because it lets the media focus on yet another woman who actually did nothing wrong, instead of the predators. Yes, KW holds some irritating opinions, but they are standard opinions in that industry. Neither Allen or Polanski struggle to find A listers for their films. I feel itchy that as usual in a situation not of their making women seem to be taking the lions share of the flak. As if because they are women they should just be better than their male counterparts (most of them probably are anyway...) You notice that not many male actors are being asked to clarify what they did or said or thought. Only the ones who have been dragged into it.

Reading the #metoo hashtag on twitter is heartbreaking but I can’t help but get annoyed at the few on there who are STILL trying to make this about men with their ‘men are victims too’ spiel.

Yes, I am fucking livid about it.

This is a female problem, women are harassed daily, and have experienced all forms of sexual harassment from lewd remarks all the way to rape.

We are not saying men are not abused. We are not saying men can’t be abused. But for fucks sake, this just makes it all go away again.

Women are abused daily
Oh no, how awful!
But it happens to the menz too
....

Two men don’t die every week at the hands of women

DH isn’t bothered getting into a lift, walking down the street, getting cat called jogging, beeped at and leered at in the summer, groped at in a nightclub or pub, having a man push an erection into you on public transport... and this is the ‘Low level’ Stuff.

So fuck off menz.

Sorry for the rant.

JemimaLovesHamble

Yes you’re right. And your post has clarified my thoughts.

The focus should not be on the likes of Kate Winslet. The spotlight is veering the wrong way. It should be firmly and illuminatingly on the men who predate.

Not on the women who don’t.