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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do doctors mate?

146 replies

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/10/2017 11:53

Inspired by another thread which said that doctors can't start a relationship with their patients made me wonder what happens if there is a reciprocal attraction?

Loads of people meet their partners at work so it seems a bit of a barrier for them.

OP posts:
sparechange · 05/10/2017 13:22

thecolonel

That's really weird - DH and I know 4 or 5 accountants, and they are all not only married to non-accountants, but non-accountants with really 'cool' jobs - think fashion designer, record label boss, TV editor

We've always joked about how the easiest way to get invited to cool parties is to be an accountant!

SockQueen · 05/10/2017 13:23

Revenant - I hear a certain ski trip is notorious for, erm, improving inter-personal relations!

I'm a doctor, DH is non-medical - a uni academic in economics. We met on another forum while at uni, and got together at a forum meet. A large number of my doctor friends are in relationships with other HCPs, but there's a fair number of us who aren't.

I think the dating patients thing would be far more of an issue for a GP in a small town than someone like me - a hospital doctor in a specialty where I rarely see the same patient twice.

Didactylos · 05/10/2017 13:37

well, in my case I like to think its like the medical version of a preying mantis. With a stethoscope. Only at full moon of course....

What a strange question Hmm

Majormanner · 05/10/2017 13:40

meeting someone at work is one thing, having a professional regulatory authority setting out guidance about relationships (and they do) is another. Its all about protecting the vulnerable party

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 05/10/2017 13:52

Not sure.

They'd know, though.

How do doctors mate?
Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/10/2017 13:57

Grin zuzu I would like to check that out with 4 of them!

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 05/10/2017 14:11

It takes a lot of balls to ask out your doctor though, huh.

Was that what he was seeing her about - more than the usual number of balls?

ZuzuMyLittleGingersnap · 05/10/2017 14:16

"Polyorchidism" is the medical term for that, I believe, Kewcumber. Wink

lunar1 · 05/10/2017 14:16

I’m a nurse, dh is a dr. We met at work, where else do you meet people with such a crazy shift pattern. And who else will put up with talking about our jobs over dinner!

Oldie2017 · 05/10/2017 14:31

Same with divorce lawyers - they are not allowed to get involved with divorce clients. It is very sensible. Ditto teachers and 18 year old pupils in upper sixth. There is just too much risk and vulnerability.

My father a doctor met my mother when he was a medical student. He was organising a student review show. I think she was singing or doing the can can in a dance line up - she had finished teacher training I think by then and was working as a teacher but must have been involved in the university revue show. In those days he had to live at the hospital so she had to sneak through an open window even after they were married to get into his room for... ahem..,. sex at times apparently.

My doctor sibling met their spouse on a skiing holiday.

Basically hobbies are good for finding a partner - music, sport, dance or church. I met my husband by joining his choir.

Fernanie · 05/10/2017 14:33

I only know a handful of Drs but there's about a 50/50 split between those married to other HCPs and those not. The ones that aren't tended to meet their OHs young - as teenagers or at uni. Apart from one couple who met online in their early 30s.

toomanybiscuix · 05/10/2017 14:41

kewcumber no I don't think so...

BoysofMelody · 05/10/2017 14:45

What do you think teachers do?

Or indeed undertakers?

Justaboy · 05/10/2017 14:52

Know of a medical couple, he consultant and she a GP he still orders her around!, me doctor you nurse relationship but hey! , works for them been together since Uni now retied!.

Evelynismyspyname · 05/10/2017 14:54

BoysofMelody Shock

LtGreggs · 05/10/2017 15:08

I have a friend who married her dentist. Story went that she went for an appointment, got along well and got chatting, then a couple of days later got a letter to say that she was being de-registered from the practice. She phone up to ask WTF and he asked her out for coffee - saying it wasn't a good idea to date his patients. So he sorted it out...

Fair point about the undertakers Smile

seven201 · 05/10/2017 15:22

I was recently in hospital for ten days. I loved the doctors rounds! But I was incredibly sweaty and had to carry around a bag of red wee and talk about how I hadn't had a shit for 8 days. Not very attractive. I'm also happily married.

I only know two doctors and and neither have spouses in the medical profession. My nurse friend hasn't gone out with anyone from work. From the sounds of it though that's not common.

x2boys · 05/10/2017 15:30

Sorry that made me giggle seven.

BoysofMelody · 05/10/2017 16:18

have a friend who married her dentist. Story went that she went for an appointment, got along well and got chatting, then a couple of days later got a letter to say that she was being de-registered from the practice. She phone up to ask WTF and he asked her out for coffee - saying it wasn't a good idea to date his patients. So he sorted it out...

Did he suggest that it was a different cavity he wanted to fill?

Sooooooooooooooooooooo · 05/10/2017 16:21

me doctor you nurse relationship

Yeah nurses don't tend to tolerate that....

LtGreggs · 05/10/2017 16:31

BoysOfMelody - will ask next time I see her Grin

BikeRunSki · 05/10/2017 16:34

All the doctors I know are married to, or in a relationship with, other HCPs, usually another doctor.

A couple have non-medic partners they met during their lengthy time at university.

And then there's one who met their husband out of work.

LakieLady · 05/10/2017 17:54

I dated an orthopaedic surgeon for a while. He'd treated me for a broken wrist, and at my final check-up, rejigged the order so that I was his last patient.

When he'd finished checking my wrist and stuff, he said "Right, so you're now discharged and I won't be breaking rules if I ask you out for lunch" and off we went to the pub.

whataboutbob · 05/10/2017 19:27

To get an idea of what it's like when it goes wrong, read the GMC's disciplinaries page.

Lules · 05/10/2017 19:52

I noticed two very young doctors chatting each other up in the sexy environs of the hospital Costa the other week. I hope they get together.

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