Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do doctors mate?

146 replies

RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/10/2017 11:53

Inspired by another thread which said that doctors can't start a relationship with their patients made me wonder what happens if there is a reciprocal attraction?

Loads of people meet their partners at work so it seems a bit of a barrier for them.

OP posts:
WhooooAmI24601 · 05/10/2017 12:09

it's not totally unrealistic to think that a dr and a patient might be attracted to each other and want to pursue a romantic relationship.

I have a little crush on my (unmarried, ridiculously handsome devil of a) children's Doctor. He is delicious. Patient-Doctor attraction is a very definite thing.

My Aunt is a senior GP and her DH was a cardiac surgeon. She said that most people in those sorts of roles married others in the same/similar profession simply because the training means such long hours in company of those doing the same thing.

SilverySurfer · 05/10/2017 12:10

I think it would be incredibly unprofessional for a doctor to have a relationship with a patient. There's the rest of the world to find someone - just like everyone else in fact.

Igneococcus · 05/10/2017 12:11

One of my childhood friends is married to her ophthalmologist. He asked her out after an appointment. That's not in the UK though.

Kewcumber · 05/10/2017 12:12

Surely it's difficult to find someone sexy when they're poking your piles? (From either side)

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/10/2017 12:13

Presumably they're allowed out at night like normal people; they're not literally chained to their desks meeting nobody but their patients? Confused

Dahlietta · 05/10/2017 12:13

I also assumed it was about them being unable to have sex without thinking of ailments etc. Very odd choice of word!
Also a bit of an odd question. There are lots of professions surely (teaching being an obvious one as mentioned above) where you can't 'mate' with your pupils/clients/patients. I'm also not convinced that that many couples meet at work, do they? But yes, obviously, like teachers, if doctors meet their partners at work, they tend to be colleagues rather than patients. I'm also struggling to imagine a patient walking in and saying, "I'm a bit worried I might have a UTI" and the doctor's reaction being, "I want to mate with you." Maybe some GPs can enlighten us on how often that happens. I would have thought most people who are immediately attractive prospects for mating don't see their doctors that often anyway.

bluebannana · 05/10/2017 12:14

You say that but at what point does the patient transfer?! After agreeing to go out for a meal, first shag ... ?

Before asking them out on a date! Anything else and they are looking at being struck off.

existentialmoment · 05/10/2017 12:14

Loads of people meet their partners at work so it seems a bit of a barrier for them

No it doesn't, because when we say people meet their partners at work we mean colleagues, not clients. So by your own logic surely you didn't need to ask the question?

x2boys · 05/10/2017 12:15

Well you would imagine so Kewcumber it just wouldnt be the time or the place to chat someone up totally innapropriate .

guilty100 · 05/10/2017 12:15

Say two adults meet outside of the doctors surgery. One is a GP, the other is their patient, but they meet at speed dating/kayaking/zorbing and hit it off. It would be relatively straightforward to say "Look, we can't date until you've transferred to another doctor". It's not dissimilar to in-work relationships where line management responsibilities have to be shifted.

I think where things get more interesting is when you have a doctor/patient attraction that is palpable in the surgery itself. I have actually had a doctor give me his number in those conditions - I'd just been for a colonoscopy, though, and was too mortified to call him, even though I was single and he was superhot.

Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/10/2017 12:16

But as a pp said you could meet the doctor through another member of the family and not have been previously embarrassed about your piles or UTI which are not necessarily the bulk of their work anyway (I imagine).

Just seems odd to me that there is a huge pool of local people that doctors aren't allowed to go out with.

Lighthearted question though, no need to get snarky with me.

OP posts:
handslikecowstits · 05/10/2017 12:16

"Mummy and Daddy who love each other very much, cuddle is a special way."

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 05/10/2017 12:20

It's not a huge pool, it's whoever's on his register at the surgery. It will be a tiny minority of the area. It's a big old world out there.
guilty. I don't believe any doctor performed a colonoscopy on you ( is that the one where they stick a camera up your arse?!) and then slipped you his phone number.
It may have been a Casualty storyline but I'll bet it's never happened in the real world.

x2boys · 05/10/2017 12:21

Well not really op drs can be surgeons ,paediatricians ,psychiatrists etc they are going to only meet their patients in a professional capacity a psychiatrist for example could meet someone in a pub and its perfectly fine for them to go on a date what wouldn't be fine is a psychiatrist trying to hook up with a patient.

bluebannana · 05/10/2017 12:22

I think where things get moreinterestingis when you have a doctor/patient attraction that is palpable in the surgery itself. I have actually had a doctor give me his number in those conditions - I'd just been for a colonoscopy, though, and was too mortified to call him, even though I was single and he was superhot.

Personally if I was ever in this situation as a professional, I would ask for the patient to be transered to someone else, not so I could date them but to avoid any potential conflict of interest situations. The same if I became aware a patient seemed to be developing a crush on me.

Coconutspongexo · 05/10/2017 12:23

Tinder is full of drs.
Lots of drs end up with HCPs

KurriKurri · 05/10/2017 12:24

My cousin's wife is a doctor, she must have worked out how to mate, because they've got two little girls Grin

x2boys · 05/10/2017 12:24

And if your talking about GP,s we have several local surgerys if i suddenly found myself attracted to my Gp and vice versa i would go to a different surgery .

toomanybiscuix · 05/10/2017 12:24

I have seen a post on here where someone asked out their doctor and it was all fine and she just transferred afterwards.

It takes a lot of balls to ask out your doctor though, huh.

Dahlietta · 05/10/2017 12:24

Lighthearted question though, no need to get snarky with me.

I think maybe you wanted _chat... Wink

Mintychoc1 · 05/10/2017 12:25

I'm a GP and I've met plenty of attractive male patients in my time, but I wouldn't in a million years date any of them. There is something about the interaction that is so unsexy!

Original poster
RebeccaWithTheGoodHair · 05/10/2017 12:25

I think maybe you wanted _chat... wink

I did!! My 2nd post realised my mistake. Ahh well I'll brace myself for the outrage of even thinking about it!!

OP posts:
NotDavidTennant · 05/10/2017 12:27

Just seems odd to me that there is a huge pool of local people that doctors aren't allowed to go out with.

Is there? If they live in a very rural area where they are the local GP maybe.

In a town or a city a GP will probably rarely ever see their patients outside of work. Most won't even live in the catchment area for their surgery.

RavingRoo · 05/10/2017 12:28

A lot of male bankers I know are married to female ‘doctors’. Quotation marks used because they usually stop being doctors soon after the wedding.

Rinceoir · 05/10/2017 12:28

I’m a doctor. My husband is not a healthcare professional and has never been my patient!