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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate the laughing at "lower class" people on here?

354 replies

brasty · 05/10/2017 10:02

I know it gets disguised as laughing at certain children's names, phrases, etc, but there is a lot of threads on MN that is really about laughing at poorer people. Hate it.

OP posts:
RoseWhiteTips · 05/10/2017 20:27

Oblomov17

Ponders what job tippz does? And how little she earns? grin

Her bitter jealousy is priceless. No not actually priceless. We can put a price on it. The hourly rate of some of the 6 figure salaried mn’ers!!

Well done on a supremely unpleasant post.

wannabestressfree · 05/10/2017 21:09

She wasn’t dripping with charm herself nor has she been back since.

jellysock · 05/10/2017 21:12

Who seriously cares? I get fed up of people saying to me 'that's SO middle class' - last time it was black pepper Hmm is it? I don't care!!

TheOtherGirl · 05/10/2017 21:13

I actually thought Obvs post to be rather accurate.

I've never earned a 6 figure salary but DH does, so do a lot of our friends (both male and female). It is 'the norm' for us and our social circle.

Just like for others it is 'the norm' to only earn £16K a year or whatever.

Neither is right or wrong.

jellysock · 05/10/2017 21:16

I do find it funny on MN that people only seem to socialise with people with similar jobs.

CamperVamp · 05/10/2017 21:18

I'm middle class. I don't earn a lot, but in terms of 'cultural capital', background, education, outlook, I am middle class. I have some Seasalt clothing.

I can't bear the hideous nasty sneering on here. About names, snotty comments about spelling or punctuation, saying Haitch, a horrible thread attacking a poster who asked cooking temperature problems she was having for a cake smash. All nasty snobby prejudice, discrimination and bullying.

StevesFlappyCap · 05/10/2017 21:22

MN is just a microcosm of RL isn't it? All walks of life, some getting on, some having bunfights.

It's when some posters get unnecessarily nasty or personal that's not nice, and speaks volumes of their class I'd say.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 05/10/2017 21:26

I do find it funny on MN that people only seem to socialise with people with similar jobs.

That's me. The majority of my close friends work in health care. I slowly free apart from Other friends because they seemed to really struggle with the idea that people work outside of mon-fri 9-5 and can't just ask for random days off to go out.
I imagine many people socialise like this because it's just easier. You also automatically have something in common.

Getout21 · 05/10/2017 21:30

thanks Portia

MorvaanReed · 05/10/2017 21:31

Isn't it all about people wanting to figure out where they and the people they are dealing with fit into their world?

DH's GM was staunchly working class, believed that no-one should get above themselves and their roots, but woe betide the woman in their street who didn't have a spotless doorstep and curtains at the front windows. You had to keep up appearances. She and the rest in the street wanted to know that the people they spoke to every day shared their values; totally insular and completely unable to imagine that someone with a grubby step was to be relied upon in any situation.

So, on here it's names and boden/primark and it's just as stupid and prejudiced as steps and curtains, but it's the indicators that the un-imaginative use to decide whether you are part of their class/tribe and whether they should give any value to anything you say.

It's all a bloody pain. I was on the verge of a decent career when health issues stuffed it up. DM, who was desperately aspirational (Miner's daughter with a mother from a middle class family in reduced circumstances, whose mum harried seven children through grammar school and on to become Doctors and Nurses from a two up two down) would be horrified to see me trundling about in a tabard and the faces on some visitors when I open my mouth and, thanks to her, talk like a 50s BBC announcer.

As for names, DD has a classic name that has several legitimate spellings. It's been described, more than once, as a modern, chavy spelling. It's 16th bloody century.

Class isn't the problem, a lack of imagination and fear of what, or rather who, you don't understand is.

BananasAreGood · 06/10/2017 06:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Henrythehoover · 06/10/2017 06:35

I haven't noticed the snobbery as much as the number of people who don't seem to grasp that not everyone is wel l off/educated/has savings. You see it when you read posts which state "I'm a single mum on minimum wage, I work full time and I'm struggling to keep up with the house work etc." There is always someone who will suggest to get a cleaner or to get a better job like it's that simple. Or if someone fallen on hard times and is struggling you get the "wel l you should never have had children if you didn't have a massive savings account (and a crystal ball)" it's like they live in a paralel universe.

pigeondujour · 06/10/2017 07:05

When I posted saying I thought some people lied about massive salaries, I meant when you get an improbable number of people in quick succession saying they're a two-six-figure-income household. Not that people lie about being teachers, there are bloody loads of teachers.

Golftee · 06/10/2017 07:45

I agree henry I take it a different way to you though maybe I'm wrong. I might just be over thinking. But when things are said like get s cleaner, get a better, have savings, should not have had children. I read that as a dig.im just not sure it's even meant to be helpful.

Anatidae · 06/10/2017 08:01

i meant when you get an improbable number of people in quick succession saying they're a two-six-figure-income household.

This is interesting because when I grew up up knew literally no one who earned like that, and so I'd have agreed with you. In my current job I know an awful lot of couples like that. Because I've not grown up in that world I have friends across the spectrum, it I imagine that if I'd grown up like some of the people I know now, I'd be baffled.

I do find that people tend to stick to their own. Again because I've grown up in a different country to the one I now live in and grown up in one world and now in another, I think I have quite a broad range of acquaintances.

But I'm always struck by how people were, for example, so shocked about brexit. "But I know no one who voted for it!" Well yeah, your social media is an echo chamber - you don't have friends with different lives/politics etc.

A lot of people are very insular.

coconuttella · 06/10/2017 08:04

i meant when you get an improbable number of people in quick succession saying they're a two-six-figure-income household.

Given that only around the top 1% of earners earn over £100k, I think that shows how the MN demographic is far from the norm!

KERALA1 · 06/10/2017 08:57

Its human nature to gravitate to similar types I think. On the first day of primary school DD2 found the other girl whose parents had the same jobs/outlook as us (we didn't know them before) and they befriended each other. Out of a class of 30...

Bluegrass · 06/10/2017 09:01

If you have 2 kids and a family income of around 150k that puts you in about the top 5% in the UK.

If we think the MN demographic skews a bit towards higher earners then more than 5 out of every hundred mumsnetters reading this thread will come from a household with that sort of income or higher.

BananasAreGood · 06/10/2017 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CredulousThickos · 06/10/2017 09:45

DH is earning 100k ish this year, last year it was 50k.

We have all the trappings of a middle class life; large house tastefully decorated, newish car, the dc do lots of ‘improving activities’, shop in Ocado. Most of our good friends are doctors, senior teachers, a naval officer, etc.

Trouble is, I’m a tattooed, pink haired flake with severe MH problems. I smoke, drink and swear and I’m happier in Home Bargains than John Lewis. I know the difference between less and fewer and discrete and discreet but I read Take a Break every week.

It’s all so very confusing.

TheOtherGirl · 06/10/2017 10:00

Agree with bananas in that MN does so love to pigeon hole you and woe betide you if you happen to have 'changes' in your life.

On an average week we might grab a quick McDonald's, heat up some convenience M&S food, eat out in a pub and have a homemade chilli made from scratch. We sometimes have 'tea' and sometimes have 'dinner' and even 'supper' depending on the situation.

Our DDs have weekly tennis lessons and attend a selective school but don't speak with RP. DD1's best friend's Mum is an orthopaedic surgeon. DD2's best friend Dad is a builder. And?

Luckily life is a lot more vari coloured than some on MN would believe.

existentialmoment · 06/10/2017 10:08

"MN" doesn't do anything. Its a collection of individuals all with their own opinion. There is no consistency or consensus.

echt · 06/10/2017 10:16

Agree with bananas in that MN does so love to pigeon hole you and woe betide you if you happen to have 'changes' in your life

What do you mean by this, could you give examples? Also agree with existential that there is no MN.

27Feb · 06/10/2017 10:41

CredulousThickos - high five! I suspect we are a not uncommon demographic though. Isn't "Bohemian middle class" totally a thing?

(Household income £90k, shop in Waitrose, go to the opera, funny colour hair and tattoos, and a history of being sectioned)

RoseWhiteTips · 06/10/2017 10:52

Why would anyone use the word "flake" to refer to herself?