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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think kids shouldn't talk to teachers like this.

445 replies

onlyindreams · 03/10/2017 17:18

I realise that the majority of kids will show respect to teachers but some of the stuff my dgc tell me is awful. One girl called her teacher a disgusting human being" , another said "you dirty little peado", another one said, when asked not to shout "who do you think you're talking to".

How has it all come to this, i despair, where's the respect gone, please tell me it's not all that bad and not typical of the average 12/13 year old and probably above.

OP posts:
StaplesCorner · 03/10/2017 19:00

The kids that do this to teachers generally do it to other kids as well. There is a bully at my DD's school who went up to the teacher and said in her face very slowly 'LET. ME. GO. TO. THE. TOILET' - the teacher said no, so the girl said in the same manner 'you know what will happen if you don't, and you don't want that do you?' - the teacher let her go, DD said she was clearly intimidated and not in control, and you could hardly blame her. Course the next girl that genuinely needed the toilet got it in the neck with a torrent of anger from the teacher. So although my DD might feel sorry for that woman, she's not going to respect her authority.

As for things teachers say - "I only came into teaching so I could teach everyone my masturbatory techniques", "Prison isn't all bad, I've been to prison for domestic violence" "not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim", "there's no truth in the rumour that Mr X was watching child pornography in school, it was just normal porn".

I have more, these are examples from 3 different teachers. And not even the same secondary schools. However, although hearing these things upset my DDs, they didn't then become suddenly become kids who showed any aggression or disrespect to their teachers. But they knew the teachers hadn't got a single ounce of respect for them.

AccrualIntentions · 03/10/2017 19:00

DH is at a rough comp a la Educating Yorkshire etc, but always says that kind of behaviour and disruption isn't tolerated in the same way at his school. Lots of kids try it, but they don't get very far. You do need all staff especially SLT to back each other up when being firm on things like backchat though.

Lm9004 · 03/10/2017 19:02

Catkind

Is that not the whole problem behind the way children act, they are mollycoddled and think they are untouchable? The girl could not sit on her chair sensibly so she had to stand.

nameohnameohname · 03/10/2017 19:05

@highinthesky
Tbh, I gave him a good telling off, then a cuddle and then let him go to sleep on my comfortable chairs. He's 9.
He'll not call me it again. It wasn't personal. It was learned behaviour. Life is much worse for him than for me, believe me.

Eolian · 03/10/2017 19:05

you are a waste of time and don't deserve to be here because you don't want to learn.

How can anybody respect a teacher who talks to them like that?

A teacher shouldn't say that, and few do. But I've never met a teacher who would say that kind of thing except at the utmost brink of their patience, when dealing with a student with whom they've tried all the nice, encouraging ways to get them to cooperate. Any kid who has that said to them by a teacher is a kid who didn't respect the teacher in the first place.

Those people who think teachers are all little power-crazed meanies who like to trample over kids' individuality and enjoy yelling at them need to go and spend a few years in classrooms full of teenagers. Actually, a few weeks would probably do it.

Papafran · 03/10/2017 19:06

Pengggwyn - you are a waste of time and don't deserve to be here because you don't want to learn

How can anybody respect a teacher who talks to them like that?

Depends, but there are many kids in schools who clearly don't want to learn and spend their time ruining the educational experience for other children and causing a massive disruption just because they are bored. So no, I would not say that a teacher telling a pupil this gives the pupil the right to disrespect the teacher. Teachers are in a position of authority- end of. It's not up to some snotty 14 year old to decide that he is not being given enough 'respect' and use that as an excuse to call the teacher a fat cunt or the like.

HighwayDragon1 · 03/10/2017 19:07

We have a kid in school who is actively encouraged by their mum to misbehave, lie and be rude. The kid can be lovely sometimes but it's now at a point we're not allowed to confront or punish the kid alone, it has to be with anothermember of staff, to cover us.

Lm9004 · 03/10/2017 19:07

Staplescorner

I don't let children go to the toilet during lessons. I would have called the girls bluff and told her to sit back down.

JimLahey · 03/10/2017 19:08

It's so common. I had two girls gang up on me when I was heavily pregnant all because I split them apart for being disruptive.

I guess it's all hormones and all that and fortunately not all kids say vicious stuff and are a pleasure to teach.

coolaschmoola · 03/10/2017 19:08

I teach in a FE college... I recently got screamed at by a parent for asking her 16 year old son to read a page of text (to himself, not the class) because he hates reading so I shouldn't be telling him to do it...

I'm an ENGLISH teacher. Confused

I've also been threatened with violence, screamed at, sworn at, called all manner of names. FE can be brutal.

SemolinaSilkpaws · 03/10/2017 19:09

I told a teacher at school to f* off when I was sixteen. I had my arse served to me on a plate by the headmistress who rang my parents and when I got home I had my arse served again.

I never repeated the exercise and had to apologise to the teacher in front of the class. I cringe remembering being so incredibly rude.

blankface · 03/10/2017 19:09

Agree SilverySurfer Forgot to add, if they have zero respect for authority figures now, they are in for a rough time when they begin working.

Who are their role models? If their role models can be successfully ridiculed by their peer group, would it help improve the kids' attitudes in general?

StaplesCorner · 03/10/2017 19:09

Lm as I understand it the teacher was genuinely scared, but yes you'd hope to be able to do that, takes some nerve though. At the school in question, teachers who do not "bring problems" to SLT are more respected - by SLT.

Papafran · 03/10/2017 19:10

Those people who think teachers are all little power-crazed meanies who like to trample over kids' individuality and enjoy yelling at them need to go and spend a few years in classrooms full of teenagers. Actually, a few weeks would probably do it

Or just a day. People also don't realise that a lot of teachers go above and beyond to an extent that you cannot imagine. When I was at school, one of the teachers used to bring in breakfast for several children who were not being fed at home and would bring them clean uniform because it was not being washed at home. My friends who are teachers work until 10pm at night and spend their own money on classroom supplies. They are run ragged. Imagine working in a role like that and then having all and sundry telling you that you are stupid and lazy and the people you are trying to help swearing at you.

wannabestressfree · 03/10/2017 19:11

The school featured on educating Manchester was the worse school in the country at one stage. I agree about the ipods, iPhone, headphones situation but he had a tough task and I have seen what happens first hand when a new head goes in gung ho. In certain areas parents will not back the school and the new head looks impotent. Instead he has worked from within taking small steps to improve their whole school experience. I notice not many younger students have headphones in...

As for the ‘straight from the horses mouth’ direct quotes from teachers I have never heard a member or staff talk like that and they would be removed where I work. You have people who are crap in all jobs. It’s bloody hard to get 30 kids on side though and actually teach them something. It’s a vocation not a job. Trust me.

Tinkerbec · 03/10/2017 19:12

Educating Manchester is judged a ‘ Good’ school in all 4 areas by the big O. Hmm

Pengggwn · 03/10/2017 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lm9004 · 03/10/2017 19:14

Staples corner

The girl probably didn't even need the toilet. I would have refused and had she walked out without permission she would have been in trouble le anyway.

catkind · 03/10/2017 19:27

Kids need clear sanctions, consistently enforced and, critically, backed up by school management. Not random humiliation, physical discomfort and presumably being seriously hampered in doing their work.

I hope no child of mine would ever threaten a teacher but that punishment shocks me hugely, having grown up in an era people are perceiving schools as having been stricter in; so I'm not surprised a child today would think a line had been crossed, and don't think that in itself is "the problem".

Lm9004 · 03/10/2017 19:30

What is it that shocks you so much catkind?

StaplesCorner · 03/10/2017 19:32

I have never heard a member or staff talk like that and they would be removed where I work - I'm genuinely glad to hear it.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 03/10/2017 19:35

isn't it part of learning how to behave, to sometimes have to bite one's lip because the person talking to you - who might be being a bit harsh or, from your teenage perspective, unfair - isn't a peer? If you didn't particularly appreciate a telling off from your employer, you wouldn't be in a position to tell your employer to STFU, would you?

Very well said ... although IME a number of those who haven't been corrected in childhood do indeed feel entitled to tell an employer to STFU

Fortunately, unlike schools, employers have much more freedom to simply get rid of them - and they tend to cry "unfaaaiiirrr" about that too

catkind · 03/10/2017 19:36

The lack of adhering to normal behavioural sanctions, the humiliation aspect, the physical discomfort aspect, the disruption to their work aspect. The sheer length of time.

MrsDustyBusty · 03/10/2017 19:38

The lack of adhering to normal behavioural sanctions, the humiliation aspect, the physical discomfort aspect, the disruption to their work aspect. The sheer length of time.

Just think, if the child hadn't been acting the goat, she would have avoided the punishment.

Makes you think, eh?

Lm9004 · 03/10/2017 19:42

I don't see how it is humiliating or physically discomforting catkind, she had to stand up for a couple of hours that's all.