to ask why there is so much negativity breastfeeding over 1s?

[rollerbladersrule]

DS is still breastfed, he is 13 months so it is not often, just on waking, to go to bed and sometimes once in the day for a nap or if feeling poorly.

I didn't aim to breastfeed longterm and my initial goal was to atleast get to 6 months but it just worked for us and it is now a lovely comfort and I also enjoy it, I am the only one left amongst baby group friends but their babies (same age) have formula or cows milk in its place at the same times DS would have a feed. Everytime feeding is raised in conversation one will ask "when will you stop" "Does he still need breastmilk" "he will be too old soon".

I find this odd when it comes from mothers also still giving their babies milk and most give a bottle rather than a cup so they are doing practically the same but I would never dare ask if they are too old for milk or too old for a bottle.

My DM asks me regularly if he still needs to be breastfed and how "unnecessary" it is now and she is convinced it is why he is clingy (I'd say more because it has just been him and I since he was very young -single parent) and says it is bad for his teeth.

I don't understand the negativity, I know its a choice that some may not be comfortable with but if a child has cows or formula milk it isn't questioned its just dropped when the child is ready.

Ignore them or give a hard stare. Do what works fir you.
I BF until mine were four (twice) and nearly three once.

I'm breastfeeding DS 7 months and if all goes well am willing to continue til 2, as per WHO recommendations. Aside from the health benefits I love how comforting it seems to be for him.

Its a funny society when it's more socially acceptable or considered "better" to give a 1 or 2 year old milk from a cow rather than from their own mother.

Perhaps a huge amount of it not being the norm is that people go back to work around 1 year old and end up stopping breastfeeding.

I'm a teacher and there isn't even a spare cupboard, never mind a lockable room that I can express in. It's just not practical for me to express at work so breastfeeding becomes a real pain - liiterally! I imagine there's probably a lot of women in a similar position.

I genuinely couldn’t remain friends with someone who thought I was ‘disgusting’ for bf my child. I wouldn’t judge their choice to bottle feed their babies so what gives them the right to do that to me.

I bf both my children until they were ready to stop, DS until 2 and DD until a week after her 4th birthday. I know a lot of my friends privately disapproved but they would never have dreamt of saying so (I think they know me well enough to know what my response would have been!)

In Australia only 1% of 2 years have breastmilk. That's why people see it as weird because hardly anyone sees it.

Paper I went back to work after a year and breastfed until 2 years. There was no expresssing, I just fed morning, night and whenever she wanted it at the weekend. She just had normal milk in a cup during the day.

It's not exclusive to breastfeeding.
A toddler doing anything that is associated with a little baby, unfortunately attract negative comments from certain people.
Is he still in nappies?
Look at that big girl in a buggy!
Oh is he not sleeping through, mine slept through from one day old.
Isn't he a bit big for a dummy?

I fed my first until he was two and a bit, and the only negative comment I had was from a young teenager in paediatric A&E one day when I was feeding him while he was ill. I wasn't too fussed about what she thought though - she was clearly freaked out by someone's actual body.

I think it just depends who your peer group are (and that your family know better than to say anything negative to your face ). Lots of my friends have fed past one, but I recognise that we're not necessarily a typical group.

I think Notso has hit the nail on the head, for some reason once babies turn one they're expected to instantly drop anything baby like. Every decision seems to be judged and it's silly.

ICJump The shocking thing is that that is more than the UK. I read once that only 0.5% of babies are still breastfed at 1 here

NOTE: I BF DD until 17 months.

I think the main reason is that the only toddlers one sees being BF after 12 months or so, are the ones who are quite demanding and still feeding throughout the day. Because in my case DD was only nursing 2-3 times a day from 12 months dropping down to once a day at the end. It wasn't like when she was younger and I had to feed her in public whenever we were out.

However I have friends whose toddlers wanted a "snack" constantly and would pull at their shirts or cry and moan until they got the breast, regardless of where they were. That's the type of toddler BF one is likely to see because that can happen anywhere and at any time.

Meanwhile the majority of women I know who BF toddlers over 1 were like me, a few times a day at home and kids were happy with a cup of milk when out and about. So I guess the "normal" or "easy" version of toddler BF is not observed much.

Lazybobcat I read somewhere that the answer to "How many months is too long to breastfeed" is "More than the number of months that I did."

So yeah...even women who BF can be judgemental of others, if they stopped at 6 months then to them 12 months is far to long, etc.

Our culture associates BFing primarily with sex. That's where comments like "you will stop feeding before s/he can speak won't you?" come from.

Also lots of people get weirdly defensive about their own parenting choices. They seem to feel that if you're not doing it their way you're criticising their way of doing things.

People who FF also get defensive about their choice as it's hard to avoid the "breast is best" message but people don't like to admit they chose something that wasn't the best choice for their child necessarily.

I'm not sure how helpful the breast is best campaign is tbh. Lots of mums fail to BF as long as they want to because they didn't get the support they needed - perhaps with with tongue tie, or given crap advice on BFing from HVs or GPs with little understanding of BFing. So there's a lot of guilt. But we often make decisions that aren't necessarily in the best interests of our child's health. We live in polluted cities and drive cars that can crash for example. But mothers don't feel the need to constantly justify their choices on those decisions.

Better support for BFing mothers wpuld help change attitudes in general I think as more wpuld be successful at it so less guilt.

And then there's the whole mysogenistic crap from Little Brittain on "bitty" and even GOT plainly showing they think natural term BFing is deviant by implying that if you do it your child will either still be doing it as an adult or turn out to be twisted and evil!

Then there's the plain old sexist crap that what we do as women is of no value. What could be more womanly then BFing on our own terms with our children? Our sexist culture has no place for such things.

I think the answer is just that people are stupid.

Ha, I was told that my son would stop naturally. He did, at around 7. His brother (older) stopped at around 3; I breastfed for ten years!

It was handy when he was ill or sad but there comes a point where you just don't do it outside the house. That is when the comments stop.

Mine self weaned at a reasonable age- I can't actually remember when. I would have fed indefinitely though, but I'd have struggled a bit with a talking child! That's the cut off for me, but it isn't rational and I wouldn't inflict my opinion on any one else.

I'm still breastfeeding dd at 13 months, but get constant comments about it from the in laws about 'babying' her and telling me she doesn't need it, but it's my only way of getting her to sleep! They want to be able to have her overnight, but I wouldn't want a night without her even if she was ff, nor do I think they'd cope having never had children themselves and dd still wakes multiple times a night for a feed, I can deal with sleepless nights because I'm a SAHM and can nap with dd in the day if we had a particularly bad night. I will stop when she is ready not before. We also cosleep which people keep telling us to stop because she will be in our bed 'forever'. It's hard not to let the comments get to you, and it is intensely irritating.

I stopped bf at 13 months. Most if the mothers at the playgroup I attended continued for longer! I guess it all depends on who you are hanging out with.

I bf until 2yrs old I became pregnant again so he became less interested. I was relieved at this point as I didn’t fancy tandem feeding my toddler and newborn but I do miss it some days as it was such a great comforter for him.

I recall bf in Sainsbury’s cafe having a brew and I’d kind of angled my body to the wall, he was about 13 months old and I actually had a lady come up to me and say “don’t you think he is to old for that now” and walk away I was gobsmacked and her poor hubby looked mortified. I sat and cried, I was used to the occasional disapproving look but I was always discreet, Well except from that one time me and my friends went for a pub lunch and I completely forgot to put it away at least they laughed.

But that was such a personal attack on my parenting choice from a random stranger. I just made an effort to try and not feed him in public after that.

It’s sad but I’m due in December and if I’m lucky enough to be able to bf again il happily do it again.

@silkpyjamasallday I find it intensely frustrating when grandparents push their 'wants' on you. I remember with DS my in laws were really pushy about when they could have him overnight. They seem to forget that it's not their baby! Why are they so desperate to have them overnight anyway?

Still bf at 20 months,she feeds quite a lot still as well.
Dont really care what others think and luckily ive had no one comment to my face anything negative.

I never had any comments (fed dd1 til 18 months) but I lived in quite a "knit your own muesli" kind of area at the time, so bf-ing past 2 wasn't unusual.

I don't care what other people do. I stopped breastfeeding because I had needed my body back, I've always had a pregnancy soon after the last too which might be part of it. There always came a point around 9 months when I just looked down and thought, you're too big and too independent to keep clawing at me and biting me and pulling at my clothes. I needed space. Others seem to find that lovely but I don't. So I guess considering how I feel I can't imagine feeling like wanting a 2 yr old breastfeeding. My head understands but my heart goes 'urgh' at the thought.

Just carry on and do whats best for your little one.

DD is 2 in December and still loves boon. And if im honest, I don't want to stop. I love the cosiness of it.

Boob not boon