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AIBU?

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Original poster

Drink drive limit barman ?

105 replies

ifonly4 · 02/10/2017 18:57

I've to a funeral today and got lost enroute to wake afterwards. Also, I know three other people seriously ill and DD had problems recently so feeling sensitive.

So I arrive at pub where wake is on my own and felt like I wanted to treat myself as life hasn't been fun recently. Asked for a small glass of wine and barman gave me a 125ml drink, I apologised and said I meant 175ml. He asked me if I was driving, yes I was and then told me bluntly 125ml was the drink drive limit, he wasn't going to give me any more in THAT glass as I'd be over the limit and he'd be responsible if I got caught. I did point out I didn't normally drink & drive so wasn't 100% aware of the drink drive limit but thought I'd have been able to have a couple of 125ml glasses, to which he replied if you come back and ask for another glass of 125ml wine I could have it but I'd then have consumed 250ml which wasn't on.

With everything going on I was a bit shell shocked and told him I'd have my usual glass of water. My BIL was at the funeral and bought himself two pints and nothing was said to him

I guess I'm just a sensitive at the moment, looking online I don't think he was right re: limit and he was being nasty.

OP posts:
Pombliboo123 · 02/10/2017 19:00

Sorry to be mean but you shouldn't drink anything and drive in my opinion. If you want to drink, get a cab.

Sorry to are going through a hard time but there's no excuse. It's about time the limit was ZERO.

imisschocolate · 02/10/2017 19:06

In scotland if you drank 2/3 of a pint you'd be over the limit.

YABU to drink anything and drive

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 02/10/2017 19:06

I think he was right tbh. It's good that he was being responsible, rather than just selling alcohol to drivers!

A quick google suggests a 125 ml glass of wine is between 1.4 and 1.8 units of alcohol so 2 glasses would likely have sent you over the limit.

Plus 175 ml glass of wine isn't a small glass!

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:07

That bar tender was rude, wrong and unkind. It was a fucking wake. He didn't know when you intended to drive. Wakes go on for hours in my circle, sometimes 9 or 10!

He was BU OP and this isn't actually about whether you should've been having a 175ml glass wine.

Oysterbabe · 02/10/2017 19:08

There are no circumstances where drink driving is ok.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:08

"It's about time the limit was ZERO"

Well no, the time for that is when ZERO alcohol is backed up with any evidence that it improves safety

ijustwannadance · 02/10/2017 19:09

The issue is it is just a guideline. Everyone processes alcohol at different rates, due to metabolism, weight, if they drink regularly etc.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:09

Also interesting that your BIL bought 2 pints without questioning. Sexist entitled pig.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:09

(The barman not your BIL)

Pombliboo123 · 02/10/2017 19:10

Sorry I just don't think there is any need, or point for that matter of only having one (or two) if you're driving. Just drink soft drinks! If you want to drink alcohol then use public transport.

Glumglowworm · 02/10/2017 19:10

You shouldn't drink and drive at all

The barman should apply the same rules to everyone though

Gizlotsmum · 02/10/2017 19:12

I would be more bothered that he tried to police your drink driving but not your BIL. If he was that bothered he should have challenged everyone.

Stoptherideiwannagetoff · 02/10/2017 19:12

Sorry , his info is out in the volume he can serve you and law but common sense says he's right not to serve the large glass if he knows you are driving- perhaps he saw you arrive and was aware you are a driver?. Different people react differently - there is no rulebook on how much will put someone over the limit, it could be 100ml, it could be a lot more but do you really want to take that risk to your life, anothers life, your licence etc?. Bring on zero tolerance, too many people think they are ok to get behind the wheel. As pp said, sorry you're having a shit time, but it could get worse if you take an unnecessary risk!

Pengggwn · 02/10/2017 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:15

He's not even policing drink driving. Stopping someone who hasn't been drinking from driving is one thing- I've removed people's keys before, anyone who has served in a bar has.

But she wasn't doing any driving. She could've decided to leave her car and get a taxi, or get someone else to collect her, or she could've had one glass and now driven for 3 hours. The bar man sounds dim.

NoCryLilSoftSoft · 02/10/2017 19:16

I'm still shocked that anyone has any drink with the intention of driving. My cousin was killed by a drunk driver a few years ago but even before that I never understood having any drink in you if you planned to drive.

Pengggwn · 02/10/2017 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Catsize · 02/10/2017 19:17

Not for him to ask and especially as he served BIL without question. As a pp said, he had no idea when you would be driving.

MargaretTwatyer · 02/10/2017 19:18

Being at a wake doesn't make it okay.

From what you've said OP you were feeling very overwrought, upset and a bit confused and it's quite possible that he thought you had something to drink already.

Bear in mind if the barman had heard talk you had got lost getting there and you appeared to be in some sort of distress already which might have suggested drink already taken he may well have had reason to be wary.

He probably wasn't being nasty but felt he had enough reason to think you might be intending to drink drive. He may well have had a point. I appreciate it was a tough day and you were upset but it doesn't sound like you were being as careful as you might have been. A tough day and being upset really isn't an excuse for being over the limit either morally or legally.

I hope everything else gets better for you but it really does sound like you were in the wrong here.

Gingernaut · 02/10/2017 19:18

Drive home via an off-licence and buy a bottle on the way home.

Drinking and driving is a bad idea.

Catsize · 02/10/2017 19:19

Perhaps he could enquire as to your racial heritage and whether that makes you more reactive to alcohol. Interesting fact - those of very British origin through the generations are quite good at alcohol as we used to turn our drinking fluids into alcohol. Not so the Chinese for example.

MargaretTwatyer · 02/10/2017 19:19

Incidentally bars aren't obliged to serve anybody and can refuse service for anything they like except for protected characteristics.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:20

Exactly peng.

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss NOcry but it's not uncommon at all to drive after consuming a small amount of alcohol.

Angelicinnocent · 02/10/2017 19:21

My DB is a firefighter. I saw him come home after he helped cut a baby and toddler out of a car wreck and put them in an ambulance, then they cut the dead mother out. The driver that had hit them had drunk a large glass of wine. She was over the limit although seemed sober.

Maybe the accident would still have happened, maybe not. She blamed herself and took an overdose 2 days later.

Why would you risk it.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 19:22

Funnily enough Margaret the OP does have a protected characteristic and one could infer, from her BIL being served without question and her being humiliated and harraased, that that characteristic is exactly why this happened

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