Drink drive limit barman ?

[ifonly4]

I've to a funeral today and got lost enroute to wake afterwards. Also, I know three other people seriously ill and DD had problems recently so feeling sensitive.

So I arrive at pub where wake is on my own and felt like I wanted to treat myself as life hasn't been fun recently. Asked for a small glass of wine and barman gave me a 125ml drink, I apologised and said I meant 175ml. He asked me if I was driving, yes I was and then told me bluntly 125ml was the drink drive limit, he wasn't going to give me any more in THAT glass as I'd be over the limit and he'd be responsible if I got caught. I did point out I didn't normally drink & drive so wasn't 100% aware of the drink drive limit but thought I'd have been able to have a couple of 125ml glasses, to which he replied if you come back and ask for another glass of 125ml wine I could have it but I'd then have consumed 250ml which wasn't on.

With everything going on I was a bit shell shocked and told him I'd have my usual glass of water. My BIL was at the funeral and bought himself two pints and nothing was said to him

I guess I'm just a sensitive at the moment, looking online I don't think he was right re: limit and he was being nasty.

Well then he stopped you driving over the limit so what’s the problem? Would you rather he hadn’t pointed it out and you’d driven over the limit?

You say you weren’t 100% sure of the drink drive limit, yet you was going to drink a larger amount of wine anyway

but it's not uncommon at all to drive after consuming a small amount of alcohol.

I know it's not, I'm just shocked anyone still does it.

Perhaps he thought you looked a bit emotional. Still not really his place to quibble over one drink though and have different standards for different people.

Thanks everyone, so far. I've actually can't remember a time when I've had a drink and driven, but DH normally has one pint or glass of wine when we're out and drives, don't think he's every been questioned on driving. I think it was more the way he put it and knowing BIL was able to buy two pints without any comment.

Anyway, whatever his intention, he put me off my wine and I had my normal glass of water and then a coffee (I'm mostly a water and coffee girl).

Just seems unusual to be shocked by something so common

If people are interested, here is a chart of BAC for women based on weight. There is a lot of hysteria, but you can actually check if you are going to be above or below the limit (80) for your weight and for the time you have been drinking:

www.moderation.org/bac/bac-women.html

I don't think that a barman should be policing women's drinking.

Just seems unusual to be shocked by something so common

So? What's wrong with being unusual?

The bar she had been at reported 1 large glass of wine and 2 soft drinks at the enquiry Peng.

The barman was not there to police your drinking. It might have been hours before you got back on the road anyway, wakes tend to go on for a long time.

And he was being a sexist prick to boot not saying anything to your BIL. Double standards, much?

I think the baby being cut out is a bit of an emotive distraction. It's very rare, and doesn't seem clear whether this accident was even related to the wine.

Phone the place and enquire why it's only women who are being policed by bar staff

I'm not sure if it's an urban myth but I was told when I was bar staff that I could be held responsible for a customer's drinking and driving. Even if that is true there's no reason for not questioning your BIL.

BTW did you ask your BIL if he'd been questioned or just assume?

sorry you're having such a bad time. Hope you are now home and having a full glass x

Sorry I don't seem to have explained myself very well.

Whilst I agree that the barman should not have been policing the op and ignoring males drinking, I don't understand why anyone would risk drinking and driving.

The op said herself she is unaware of legal limits but assumed she would be fine with a glass of wine. Many of us make assumptions about things which turn out to be wrong. Fair enough, no one is perfect but when your assumption could potentially put others at risk then it is no longer fair enough so why risk it.

I don't think you should drink at all and drive, and a 175ml is not a small glass.

But, I used to work behind a bar and I never heard that rule. I wouldn't police people's drinking, it's non of my business! Having said that, if I knew someone was going to drink and drive and I could describe their car I might phone and tip of the police (never did that in my 5+ years of it but wouldn't rule it out).

Just seems unusual to be shocked by something so common

I know it happens but I don't think it's particularly common. I don't know anyone who drinks and drives. If they're driving, they stick to soft drinks.

Sorry for your loss, OP.

Well then he stopped you driving over the limit so what’s the problem? Would you rather he hadn’t pointed it out and you’d driven over the limit?

The barman did not stop her from driving over the limit unless she was going to swig the drink and drive straight off!
Am sure the OP would have drink her drink over time and then left when she would have been under the limit (if this amount of alcohol would have even put her over the limit in the first place)
It seems the barMAN felt this lady needed her drink policing as she was a woman and clearly not able to work it out for herself!

Bold fail!

Sorry having a drink and intending to drive is irresponsible. Every year people are killed due to people “just having one”

It is never safe to drink and drive.

That's misleading- it's not "safe" to do anything. Getting in a car sober isn't safe.

However there is no scientific evidence that drink drive injury would be reduced with zero alcohol limit. And luckily, so far, this country has chosen to look to scientific research rather than political point scoring when setting their road safety related laws.