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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Drink drive limit barman ?

105 replies

ifonly4 · 02/10/2017 18:57

I've to a funeral today and got lost enroute to wake afterwards. Also, I know three other people seriously ill and DD had problems recently so feeling sensitive.

So I arrive at pub where wake is on my own and felt like I wanted to treat myself as life hasn't been fun recently. Asked for a small glass of wine and barman gave me a 125ml drink, I apologised and said I meant 175ml. He asked me if I was driving, yes I was and then told me bluntly 125ml was the drink drive limit, he wasn't going to give me any more in THAT glass as I'd be over the limit and he'd be responsible if I got caught. I did point out I didn't normally drink & drive so wasn't 100% aware of the drink drive limit but thought I'd have been able to have a couple of 125ml glasses, to which he replied if you come back and ask for another glass of 125ml wine I could have it but I'd then have consumed 250ml which wasn't on.

With everything going on I was a bit shell shocked and told him I'd have my usual glass of water. My BIL was at the funeral and bought himself two pints and nothing was said to him

I guess I'm just a sensitive at the moment, looking online I don't think he was right re: limit and he was being nasty.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 02/10/2017 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LittleCandle · 02/10/2017 20:30

Transport research specialists do not necessarily have the specialist knowledge of how alcohol works on the human body. They know about traffic and transport. Of course the BMA, College of Surgeons etc will know more than the civil servants who set the limits. They undoubtedly know more about it than you do, too. I sincerely hope I live nowhere near you, as alcohol alters your perceptions and whilst you may think you are not impaired, you might be, and I do not want to be around when you misjudge a situation and cause an accident.

Roomster101 · 02/10/2017 20:32

Would the barman really be responsible if someone has a drink in his pub and then drives home? I think that is unlikely or pubs would ask every single customer if they are driving before serving a drink. Anyway, it depends on how soon after the drink you intended to drive. If not for a couple of hours then you would have metabolised the alcohol anyway.

Bubblebubblepop · 02/10/2017 20:32

That campaign advises you not to have a second drink Francis

overnightangel · 02/10/2017 20:36

Everyone metabolises differently
Eliminate all risk and ambiguity by making the limit zero
It's simple

Brittbugs80 · 02/10/2017 20:39

Of course it's a massive no to drink/drive.

But if he's that intent on serving minimal alcohol,then he should have questioned and refused to serve everyone more than the limit. Given that he didn't know whether the OP intended to drive or get a taxi then he was unreasonable.

If she was already drunk, he's well within his rights to refuse to serve her but he can't refuse to serve her any alcohol for drink driving reasons then serve another driver two pints.

Pengggwn · 02/10/2017 20:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

colaflower · 02/10/2017 20:42

I don't have to give a reason to refuse to serve anyone alcohol. End of.

And yes I've done so on wayyy more than one occasion, I will do so again and no, its not unreasonable, its my job and the law.

A small glass of wine for example consumed now, would render me unfit to drive until past 11pm (2.5hrs due to the amount of alcohol).

You may think the barman is a jobsworth but it is us that get fined if we break the law. Currently its a £5000 fine and loss of job and we could find ourselves in prison for up to 6 months, No one is worth that

Shenanagins · 02/10/2017 20:43

Or he could have served you, watched you leave and phone the police to report a drunk driver. That would make things a whole lot worse for you.

GabsAlot · 02/10/2017 20:58

did u actually see him serve your bil twice if so its out of order-but still if u dont know the limit why drink anyway?

you were stresseed got lost upseet-not great for drinking theen driving

BulletFox · 02/10/2017 21:11

With me, I'm very small and could appear that I was emotive if I were thinking about something distressing, which might be grounds for getting refused.

So that could affect how a barperson viewed my alcohol consumption.

Agree it's best in practice not to drink at all if you're driving but if OP had stuck to initial request and been given 125ml it wouldn't have been a problem.

overnightangel · 02/10/2017 21:20

As usual people dying to be offended by something.
Fair enough didn't read op well enough.
If you know you're going to be driving just don't drink imo , why take the risk.
I live in a city about 8 miles from Scotland. I could have a glass of wine in the restaurant over the road and be legal to go drive, but be arrested 10mins later over the border for being over the limit.
But yeah the law as it stands is great ....

FrancisCrawford · 02/10/2017 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abigailgabble · 02/10/2017 21:36

The limit should be zero specially for the avoidance of doubt

Beerwench · 02/10/2017 21:49

Well, I can kind of see his point. Bar staff and licencees are responsible for what they serve, and you can risk fines, loss of licence and imprisonment for various things. I am not aware of any legislation that says a person serving the alcohol can be specifically blamed if someone they serve goes on to drink drive, but I'm sure there's scope for that to happen.
For instance you can be held in breech of license by -
Serving someone who is already under the influence.
Serving a drink that contains 'too much' alcohol in one glass (think top shelfers in pint glasses or multiple shots in one glass)
Serving someone who passes that drink onto a minor (beer gardens are the bane of my life)

All of those, as well as drink driving, are the customers choice but, with these laws in place, the person serving the alcohol is made responsible. That's because the campaigns and advice around drinking haven't worked, so by turning the tables and making the licencee responsible, with harsh consequences, it's less likely to happen.
I don't think it's fair though if I'm honest. Where as I'd never serve anyone too young, or blind drunk, I don't see why I'm responsible for someone else's drinking and the results of that. They are adults and they should be taking responsibility for themselves. It's just a bloody cop out to blame someone else for giving you the drinks you asked for!
But whether I agree or not that's how it is, so expect to be refused service if you're tipsy, or arrived driving, because the bar staff and licencee can have their lives ruined because of your choice to drink irresponsibly.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 02/10/2017 22:04

I'm a barmaid - I struggle with the moral aspect of serving people drinks when I KNOW they're going to drive home. One woman regularly has 4 of those small bottles of wine, 168ml each ConfusedShock and some of the men have 3 bottles or pint cans each. So far I've justified it to myself that they've been doing this for years and I'm very new but if anything happened I'd feel very guilty. I make pointed comments occasionally and the 4 wine woman hasn't been in on my nights for a while but I just don't know what to do!

Roomster101 · 02/10/2017 23:29

A small glass of wine for example consumed now, would render me unfit to drive until past 11pm (2.5hrs due to the amount of alcohol).

That's not true at all unless you are very small or particularly intolerant to alcohol. Most people would have no alcohol left in their blood stream at all after about 1.5 hours and certainly wouldn't be unfit to drive,

BackforGood · 02/10/2017 23:43

Love the way so many assume the barman is being sexist.

We don't know that he didn't ask the same of BiL.
Maybe OP walked in with car keys in her hand ?
We have no idea really, but, as it turns out, his instinct is right, as OP herself says she didn't know 2 glasses of wine could put her over the limit.

I agree with most it is just 1000x better to not dink alcohol if you are going to drive, but this ranks up even more if you are already upset / emotional as the OP says she was - again, that might have been apparent to the barman.

TizzyDongue · 02/10/2017 23:45

Love the way so many assume the barman is being sexist.
We don't know that he didn't ask the same of BiL.
Asked the OP if she just assumed BIL wasn't asked. Though OP seems to not been back since.

HiJenny35 · 03/10/2017 00:49

Maybe he was sexist, maybe your brother walked in with someone else and they had car keys and he assumed they were driving, maybe he asked your brother and he said he wasn't driving, maybe he saw you come in and thought you already looked upset, who knows, who cares, maybe you should be more concerned about the fact that you wanted to drink when driving with no idea of the alcohol strength of the legal limits and without considering the impact that could have in anyone else. The fact that it's a funeral is irrelevant, being upset is even more reason not to drive. I'm pleased that this barman took this approach, hopefully in future you will consider what you want before you leave so that no one is put at risk.

Pengggwn · 03/10/2017 07:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roomster101 · 03/10/2017 10:46

I'm not sure that it is "sexist" to think a man would be more capable of driving after 175ml of wine compared with a woman...

Gromance02 · 03/10/2017 11:15

I agree that there should be a zero tolerance approach to drinking and driving. Its almost as bad as people using their mobile while driving/in traffic.

MinervaSaidThat · 03/10/2017 11:21

I think the issue here is that the barman was policing woman's intake, but not a man's.

That is discrimination.

BarbaraofSevillle · 03/10/2017 11:21

The limit should be zero specially for the avoidance of doubt

The limit can't be zero because people can have tiny amounts of alcohol in their breath from tiny amounts in food, medication and things like mouthwash.

A zero limit is unnecessary anyway. If people are having accidents after small glasses of wine/half a pint of beer, it is highly likely there are other confounding factors such as tiredness, inattention, mobile phone use, mechanical breakdown etc etc.