Why lie?? So bloody mean 😔

[Dairyleadunked]

I'm 24 weeks pregnant. Still suffering with HG and severe pain from pelvic congestion syndrome.
Having a really bad time so asked DM would she help with school pick up today if possible. Obviously I asked a favour so it was going to be a yes or a no ....
DM told me no, that she had a doctors appointment at that time and couldn't help.
I took paracetamol and left early. DM is very near to school to I went there quickly (needed a wee and to sit for a few mins as was in agony!) and then got a call from dh who had finished early and said he would get dd.
I waited at DMs and it got a bit weird.....she couldn't have eye contact, went to her room. The time for her supposedly appt cane and went.
Turned out she just lied as didn't want to help😔I rarely ask for anything and I had put it to her in such a way that it was ok if not so it wouldn't have been an issue her saying no....but she lied and it's really hurt my feelings
No idea why she did it and I feel it was just really mean to lie

That is odd! I'm surprised if she was happy to lie she didbt jsut leave the house to keep up the lie. Did you ask her about it?

That's really strange! Did you have it out with her or just leave?

She didn't want to pick up DD. She made up the first excuse that came into her head because she didn't feel she could just say "I don't want to".

Did she admit she lied?

Or did she go to her room and cancel her appointment in private because you had turned up?

I said to her (and she wouldn't even look at me) 'aren't you going to be late?' She replied 'late for what?' Then 'oh no my appts actually another day' and looked totally mortified

We get on ok I dont understand why as she could have just said no

That would hurt my feelings too OP! Did she admit to having lied to you? Very disappointing of your DM.

That's nasty, she does not sound too nice, not wanting to help out for a one off emergency, I would be distancing myself from her, she sounds very uncaring. If that was my child, I would try to help when I can, its just a school pick up, not an all day childcare arrangement.

That's not nice op

This is all a bit odd.
If she had an appt at same time as pick up, why would you have thought to go there in the first place? She shouldn't have been in.

Would she have genuinely forgot her app was for another day and was mortified at her forgetfulness

I'm very much the kind of person that knows if you ask a favour you have an equal chance of a yes or a no and that's fine. She said no so I took paracetamol, left early and it wasn't comfortable at all but I would have lived. To be lied to just really hurt. I dot really know what to say robber now when I next see her it's so awkward

I have a key

Op said she had left early so naturally her mum would still have been at home at that point.

Op.. if this was the case I think your dm has been really unkind and deceitful.

You sound like you're having a tough time, OP, but why did you go there if you were expecting her to be out? You may have put her in a difficult position if she had a genuine reason not to do the pick-up that she didn't want to share with you.

No, she lied. I left soon after and text her she just said 'sorry' so yes she was def lying and couldn't hide the fact.
I just find it really upsetting she could t be honest with me and felt she had to lie. I'm the past I've asked a couple of favours she has said no outright and it's been fine just one of those things I dont even expect a reason butbfir to give one that was a lie

And I have a key for my dm’s. She absolutely would not mind if I needed to let myself in to use the toilet and vice versa.

I'd left early as knew it'd take me ages to walk. I needed the toilet and just to sit for a few mins so popped in and I don't think DM expected that probably thought I'd go straight to school which I would have except for the fact I have the worlds most irritable bladder !

Honestly I thought we had a very straightforward relationship-never had such an issue before. Maybe I should text again or call to clear it up ? I don't really know what to say though as she was entitled to say no but it's the lying I find really off

OP, is your mum single?

That's not very nice. I'd have to ask her why?

Oh OP. That's hurtful.

My DM has done this before, turned out to be mainly influences from friends that she needs to put her foot down with us taking the piss (she'd had DC once that year).

I think you need to have it out with her at some point but with DH with you too so he can tell her she was being a twat aswell. But look after yourself & bump for now.

I've always said I'm never bothered if you say no but the lying about it pisses me off, especially when there's no need at all.

Yes she is divorced, and my dsis her husband and dd recently moved in wth her

I think she's been very unfair, but do you think she'd been looking forward to some time on her own as she has your sister and her family living with her?

text her.. instead of LYING.. be honest and just say NO.. because that's the adult and fair thing to do...