To put my 3mo in nursery one day a week

[Changerazelea]

Feeling utterly crushed by being at home all day with my 3mo DS2 and now considering putting him in the nursery 1 day per week which my 3yo attends. He is feeding well (BF) but only cat napping so I have no time for rest at all and feel all consumed by the weight of being his carer. As he also takes bottle well I am considering putting him in nursery so I can have a break. WIBU?

If you can afford it, do it. Nothing wrong with needing a break.

Could you do two half days instead?

YANBU. Or two half days if feeding is going to be too stressful?

Sorry x post

Cross post!

Personally I wouldn't. I worked in nurseries and would never use one for a young baby. If you feel you need the break I would look for someone in a home seting either a childminder or a nanny.

Yes I think yabu. Just push through it. Might be a phase your going through. I think 3 months is far to young for nursery if there's no need

YANBU

I would maybe go for 2 or 3 shorter sessions rather than one full day though.

I would also probably go for a nanny/childminder for such a small baby, but if you know the nursery/staff etc. go for it.

YADNBU to want a bot of time off though.

I don't think yabu to need a break, but is there any other friend/family member that would take him off your hands for a couple of hours? Or even a local childminder? There is nothign wrong with nursery - My DS goes to one - but they are busy, often noisy and bugs and germs go round easily so you might end up regretting it if all you get is a snotty baby out of it.

Most nurseries I know of take them at either 4 months or 6 months, but not 3. So just check as you may have to hang on a bit.

Also are you okay? Getting out and about each day etc? Have you spoken to anyone about how you're feeling?

Yanbu. I went back to work at 4 months

Absolutely, go ahead. One day a week is not much so my only fear is taking weeks to get settled.

I agree 2 half days makes more sense if it fits around your life and other dc.

Yanbu. It really wasnt too long ago people went back to work around the 3m mark. Year long mat leaves are relatively new.

Not a nursery, maybe a cm or a mothers help who could mind ds while you slept?

What exactly is the issue?

3 months seems very young tiny babies are hard work the house sometimes looks a tip and you can easily achieve very little but that's the norm.

Of ourse YANBU. If that will help you, and you can afford it, then that will ensure you have more energy to give on the other days.

yanbu but I'm worried that it might make your boobs sore to go a day without feeding.

Totally not unreasonable to need a break. Could you not advertise for a Mothers Help (if not a nanny)? Then you could get some help in the house, help with the baby and some time to yourself?

I can understand your need for a break but I think YABU to put a 3 month old breastfed baby in nursery when there is no actual need.

Are you a single parent? If not could your DP/DH not look after the baby for a few hours a week so you can get out/rest? Nursery seems a bit drastic.

My DD went to nursery at 3mo and absolutely thrived on it.

Not unreasonable at all if that's what you need, but be aware that some settings won't let you put them in for 1 day a week. It takes children longer to settle if they're only there once a week, it's generally better to do two half days rather than one full.

Thanks all the nursery is wonderful and takes babies from 6 weeks, staff very caring and DS key worker has just moved back into baby room so trust her implicitly.
I have talked about my feelings to friends today and feeling encouraged I am just really struggling with feeling physically exhausted rather than mentally as I was working FT in busy but rewarding career prior to mat leave.
Main problem is sleep when baby wakes up for a feed I can rarely get back to sleep for the rest of the night which means I average 4hrs sleep per night since he was born.
Also the lack of me time has just left me feeling flat and so depressed.
Thank you for your comments going to think on it some more and decide what's for the best.

As PP said you would end up with sore boobs & then potentially mastitis, could also mess with your supply a bit so you'd need to pump

YANBU. It's hard work being alone with a demanding baby. My eldest never slept and it was awful. I think two half days might work out better both in terms of baby getting used to the nursery and it will give you a bit of time to yourself twice a week.