How strict to be with DC about leaving food on plate...

[Ricekrispie22]

what do you do when your children don't like something you dish up for them? What is reasonable? What are the rules regarding leaving food in your house? Thanks

I don't have rules, I just take it away without saying anything. I found the more you try and control and cajole and force the issue, the more resistance you encounter

I encourage them to taste a bit of everything and if they've done that I just take the plate away without making a fuss. Children shouldn't be forced to finish their plates as they should learn to eat only until they are full.

Our rules are:
We eat what we like and leave what we dont but we try to try new things!

Forcing children to eat ethg on their plate is not recommended - it can be quite damaging. Read up about the " division of responsibility". Basically, parents decide what and when a child will eat, children decide how much of it they will eat. Last thing you want is to turn food into a battleground - it will have far- reaching consequences.

I expect my children to at least try ethg on their plate, but it's up to them if they don't like it.

I ask them to try everything but not to polish off the plates. I am stricter if they have asked for a particular food or second helping and change their mind 1second later :/. We don't waste food tho, food is either eaten (by us if required - so we tend to start with small quantities to see what kids will eat :) sometimes the kids will swap stuff as well - all good as long as they try everything) or kept in the fridge for another day.

I don't have any on this at the moment (fussy two year old, just grateful she eats!), I don't plan to make 'clearing the plate' the benchmark for when the meal is done. I quit often don't clear my plate but have eaten enough to feel full, so I'm going to err towards teaching to stop eating when feeling full as opposed to clearing the plate no matter what.

First, eat proportionately, so don't scoff all the chips and then say your 'too full' for the carrots.

I won't knowingly dish up main courses I know you don't like.

I will take account your likes & dislikes for veg, but if your dislike list is as long as my arm and your like list only as long a my fingernail, then I'll only avoid the things at the most hated end of the dislike list. (DD1 looking at you).

I have never been strict. I put food down and DS could eat/leave what he liked. However I would not offer alternatives. He ate pretty blandly for a long time, but now (he's 10yo) he is a bit more adventurous and will try almost anything. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes not.

I serve up what I think are appropriate portions and they eat what they want to eat. I don't do any of that clearing your plate nonsense. The rule is basically just eat what you want till you're full and have some fruit or yogurt after dinner if you fancy.. No bribery, threats or rewards really. 4 year old tends to clear his plate if it's food he really loves, if he's not so sure he does try some but knows he can leave it. My two year old clears her plate some days, other days has a couple of bites and she's done.
I don't like food and eating being made into a big thing.

My DP had an eating disorder/ food phobia in his teens until his late twenties which he directly attributes to being forced to eat everything on his plate as a child.

Don't do it. I used to hate being made to eat things - was daddy. Dps never did this but went on brownie holiday and the humiliation of being made to eat something I didn't like (don't think I did) and threw some pudding on the floor at school once rather than be made to eat it.

You must try everything but you don't have to eat everything on your plate. DH finishes all the unwanted food!

However I have been known to sternly enforce the eating of an apple if they say they're hungry and change their mind after a tiny bite. Food is a precious resource and should be respected.

Oops faddy

My Aunt forced me to finish cucumber once when I was tiny, I still remember it to this day and it’s the one food I hate with a passion!

I was made to eat everything on my plate no matter how long it took. I have food issues and am very fearful of new or different foods. I don't eat any of the things I was made to eat.

I think I went too far the other way though with the dc and now they don't eat anything.

The thing about being expected to clear your plate, as many of us were in the past, is that you never learn when you're starting to feel full, and stop eating. So you grow up without a useful tool, which many of us could really do with.

I know it's incredibly frustrating, when DC won't eat what you put time money and energy into.

But DC will have a healthier attitude to food, if they don't ' win ' lots of attention for not eating well. Serve variety of good food, and give no outward attention to what they eat.Turn the emotional temperature about food as low as you can get it.

It's a pain in the butt doing this ... but I now dish all food up on the table into bowls so the children take what they want ... if they put it on their plate they must eat it.

So overall I leave it up to them on how much they take ... it works for us.

Pretty much as pp’s.

I think it’s important for them to try food, but think it’s counter productive to force them to eat something they really hate. I think it just makes them less rather than more likely to be willing to try new things if they know they have to eat it all regardless.

So with new food they have to try a decent mouthful, then tell me what they don’t like - flavour/texture etc. DS for example really dislikes “gloopy” food, for example cheese sauce. He hates the thick texture, but otherwise loves cheese.

We also try and share new foods with the kids - so if I ordered calamari in a restaurant I’d always encourage the children to try a bit. They know it’s “mine” so they know they won’t have to eat a lot - we’ve introduced a lot of “new” foods over the years that way that I suspect they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

I have always plated up everything we are eating - despite cries of "I don't like that..." It is usually veg they are reluctant to try so put a spoonful of new veg on their plates for a while. It takes 13 times of serving a particular food before children will try it. Having raised 7 children I found they will taste it in their own time. Now they eat anything and everything

I serve it up
They either eat it or don't

But I don't give them something else instead

If it's something that they really don't like, I encourage them to try it and then give them toast instead

I have severe food phobia (diagnosed now) so I don't want that with my kids

Mine have to try what's been provided and there's no seconds unless they have eaten a decent portion of vegetables.
I read a good rule in a Penelope leach book-'yes you can just eat the crispy top of your shepherds pie but you can't eat all the crispy topping of everyone else's pie'
If they don't like the dinner and are still hungry they can make themselves a cheese sandwich.

DancingLedge is right - and has the best username ever

But I have to admit that we don't have anything resembling a pudding if we haven't eaten our vegetables.

Sorry just to add like pp’s I never force the children to clear their plate. If they are full then that’s fine. I also usually asked them how much they want as I’m plating up (personally I find having a plate of food that’s far too much for me off putting - I’d rather have less and seconds if I want it and this is how I operate with the kids).

However if they left food, then they also don’t get to munch on crap a few hours later. They can have some weetabix or an apple but snacking on biscuits etc is not an option.

You must try everything at least once.