Page 2 | How strict to be with DC about leaving food on plate...

Ricekrispie22 · 2017-09-29T18:52:39+00:00

what do you do when your children don't like something you dish up for them? What is reasonable? What are the rules regarding leaving food in your house? Thanks

TwitterQueen1 · 29/09/2017 20:17

Why are you serving food they don't like?
Don't make an issue out of food. Don't force them to eat stuff they don't like. Don't pander to them, ie don't offer them something and them give something else instead if they don't like it.

Talith · 29/09/2017 20:17

I wouldn't force them to finish a plate because being able to stop when you're sated is healthy - shovelling food in after you are is not. But in general after a refusal there would be no snacks.

I might relent if I'd served up something unusual. I might ask them to try a bite. Wouldn't force it.

Talith · 29/09/2017 20:18

Obviously it makes sense to think about how much you're putting on the plate - if they tend to frequently leave half but are otherwise healthy, make smaller portions.

Bluelonerose · 29/09/2017 20:19

A reasonable effort gets pudding. If they don't get pudding but they're hungry later they're offered fruit.
Anything new all I'll just serve 1 mouthful and If they don't like it they leave it simple

Raver84 · 29/09/2017 20:23

I have 2 that eat and try everything and one really fussy eater. I just serve up dinner (one we all like to an extent) and they have to eat a reasonable amount or no pud.... I would never force them to eat anything just encourage them to try it. If they don't want to fine!

theSnuffster · 29/09/2017 20:26

I encourage them to eat a good amount- they don't have to clear their plate. If it's something new I encourage them to try it but don't force them. I wouldn't make them something else if they didn't eat what is served. They do have puddings quite often but that might be a small ice lolly or a yoghurt rather than proper desserts like cake and custard, crumble etc.

I generally clear my plate, I don't stop when I'm no longer hungry. That's not a good thing and is part of the reason I'm overweight!

I have some food issues and don't want the same for my children.

FrogsSpawnofSanta · 29/09/2017 20:26

Same as others here; he has to give it a fair try and eat a reasonable amount but doesn't have to clear the plate. If he has tried a food on three separate occasions and doesn't like it then I don't put it on his plate again but will ask occasionally if he wants to give it a go. I don't make a big deal of food, I remember the "you will stay there till you've eaten it" and I hated it. He is a good eater; loves brussel sprouts, cabbage, all veg and salad, so I can't complain.

FrogsSpawnofSanta · 29/09/2017 20:26

Same as others here; he has to give it a fair try and eat a reasonable amount but doesn't have to clear the plate. If he has tried a food on three separate occasions and doesn't like it then I don't put it on his plate again but will ask occasionally if he wants to give it a go. I don't make a big deal of food, I remember the "you will stay there till you've eaten it" and I hated it. He is a good eater; loves brussel sprouts, cabbage, all veg and salad, so I can't complain.

Sirzy · 29/09/2017 20:27

My mum still has foods she can’t eat due to being forced to stay at the table until she had eaten everything - cold sprouts anyone?

Ds has a very restricted diet anyway and a lot of issues around food (sensory based) my only rule is he sits down at the table with everyone else

MongerTruffle · 29/09/2017 20:28

Two rules:

You try everything on your plate.
You eat until you're full and then you stop.

SteppingOnToes · 29/09/2017 20:33

Biologically it takes 10 times for your body to decide something new isn't 'poison' - it's natural to not like something at first.

Bananmanfan · 29/09/2017 20:41

My rules are that they must sit at the table until everyone is finished and there isn't an alternative option. If i'm cooking something I know they're not keen on, like lasagne, I'll give them half a baked potato along with their veg so they're not going to go hungry, but they don't get to opt out. I don't bribe with pudding either if we're having pudding everyone has it regardless of how many peas they ate etc. It works quite well, they get bored waiting for everyone else to finish & start eating again.

melj1213 · 29/09/2017 20:52

DD9 is pretty good at trying new food, we've always had a policy of you must try a little bit of everything on your plate, but if - after that mouthful - you don't like a new food then you don't have to eat any more. As long as you have tried everything then you get the choice of dessert if you want it.

If DD chooses not to eat anything (as opposed to not liking it after she's tried it) then she doesn't get to have dessert but if she is hungry later she can have a piece of fruit or toast - she doesn't get to not eat her dinner then snack on crisps/biscuits later.

I have tried to make sure that any new foods are introduced in a meal with other stuff I know she likes so that there's always something on her plate she can eat even if she doesn't like the new food.

If however we are eating in a serve yourself style meal/buffet then DD has also been taught that - within reason - she must eat everything on her plate. She has chosen to put the food on her plate and has been taught that it is better to take a small amount and then go back for seconds if you have room/want it than take a huge amount and end up leaving it.

If she encounters a new food in this setting then she is allowed to take a small helping to try, if she doesn't like it then she is allowed to leave the rest and get something else but if she takes a large helping and then leaves it, then she is not allowed to get anything else as it is total waste.

Believeitornot · 29/09/2017 20:52

They try the food.

But never will I make my child clear their plates. That way lies poor appetite control.

Flopjustwantscoffee · 29/09/2017 20:57

I don't make mine clear his plate for all the reasons stated above. But also because life is complicated and stressful enough without having to have nightly battles at dinner. How DO you force a three year old to eat something anyway? I hear about people doing it/having been forced to eat as small children themselves and I think, but HOW?

poisoningpidgeysinthepark · 29/09/2017 21:06

My parents used to put me in the shed with my plate until I'd eaten everything on it. Sometimes they sent friends/neighbours/relatives round to check on my progress. True story.
I eat everything on my plate now, out of habit, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it.

Fluffyears · 29/09/2017 21:09

I had to ‘clear my plate’ and I still feel guilty today if I don’t. I also don’t recognise when i’m full and overeat. My parents had good jobs but my father was a functioning alcoholic, so we had very little to live on. I think wasting food was so frowned upon due to this. The fact that my mother was a shite cook also meant I was accused of being fusty when i’m not. Dp is shocked at the food I can eat as I would eat all day long if I could. I’d be one of those huge people who eat 20,000 calories really easily as I never recognise when i’m full.

Mum2jenny · 29/09/2017 21:11

Id ignore it, clear the plates, if hungry later they can have bread and butter but nothing else.

Loopytiles · 29/09/2017 21:15

My concern is what (if anything) they should be allowed to eat if they dislike the meal but are hungry. My DC would happily just have yoghurt, toast or cereal instead of proper meals, so allowing them to have those after refusing a meal seems counterproductive.

Witchend · 29/09/2017 21:16

Please don't.
I have a small appetite and a hatred for brown bread and mashed potato. I'll vomit even at the smell of them both.
My parents had a thing about carbohydrates being good for you so you had to finish that if nothing else. So every lunch had brown bread and every tea had mashed potato (or nearly).
I suspect if I'd been allowed not to finish it then I'd be fine with them.

Angelicinnocent · 29/09/2017 21:19

Fruit and veg sticks in fridge and they can help themselves at anytime.

Meals at the table and we all stay until everyone has finished unless there is a good reason.

You must try everything on the plate but you don't have to clear the plate.

I put out small portions and you are welcome to seconds.

Yoghurt afterwards if they want it.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 29/09/2017 21:24

Given that the amount of food that I put on my children's plates was always basically complete arbitrary - "What is the correct amount of mash given the energy you have expended today balanced against what else you have eaten?" - I tried to err on the smaller side when portioning up and have seconds available, but expected a taste of everything. I would encourage my kids to eat what was on the plate, but if they really didn't want it, well there you go. I would never make them eat something they really didn't like and try to plan meals so we're all essentially eating the same, with slight variations where necessary. Now they're older I just ask them how much they want or let them serve themselves.

SingingSeuss · 29/09/2017 21:26

They can choose to eat it or not on the understanding that if they leave it there's nothing else until the next set meal time. I agree menus with them to try and avoid serving things they hate.

dantdmistedious · 29/09/2017 21:28

If they don't eat it they don't get anything else. I don't mind if they leave some of it if they're full. Clearing your plate at every meal is why I got fat.

RosyPony · 29/09/2017 21:30

I don't force my child to eat, just like no one forces me to eat. I eat until I personally feel full and then stop, nothing to do with the portion size on the plate. A yoghurt (or fruit) is always offered for pudding.

We have a no stress meal time, I treat the toddler like any family member or friend at the table. We've never had any issues over food and he eats a wide and varied diet.