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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to pay the fine rather than send DD to school for a week her class are away?

140 replies

MardyMatilda · 29/09/2017 01:36

Long story short but DD is meant to go away for a residential trip in Spring term consisting of 3 nights and 4 days.
She is year 3 and will be 7 1/2 by this point being born late July.
She is adament she doesn't want to go.
We have explained to her they will be doing lots of work up to and after the trip however she gets very upset and weve always agreed not to force it if she doesn't want to do it.
But I'm now wondering if it would actually be more beneficial for her to go away to the same destination, not the same site of course but so that she gets to see the location and can join in with class discussion on their return.
I know I'll be fined and as a single mum I'll also have to take younger DD out who by then will be in YR 1, so am I looking at £120, is it £60 per child per period or per day?
Any help massively appreciated.
We have the discussion evening tomorrow with the not at all friendly head and I'm dreading it.

OP posts:

Original poster

MardyMatilda · 30/09/2017 10:31

Because they can't magic children she knows for her to play with! It's playtime and lunchtime she will be alone most and although I could collect her for those if needs be, is there really much point in her attending school to sit in a class full of kids from another year group doing different work alone?
She may as well do that here!

OP posts:

theboud · 30/09/2017 10:38

This seems to have changed a bit from the OP. You initially said that you were planning to take both DC out of school because you were a lone parent and wanted to stay near the trip location. Now you're saying that your younger DC could stay with DH or you might just take a family holiday in Italy!

This is sounding less like concern for your DD and more like an opportunity to justify a term time break.

Only1scoop · 30/09/2017 10:48

I'm confused

bumblingbovine49 · 30/09/2017 10:50

Personally, I would discuss this solution with the school.

Book 3 nights in a hotel very nearby with space for you and DD(and your younger DD if you can't make alternative arrangements for her to stay with family/friends and go to school as normal).

DD can travel down with the class (you travel separately) but you pick her up in the evening each day from the school location to stay in the hotel with you and deliver her back in the morning. You may even find that by day 2 she wants to stay the night.

Ideally your second DD would go to school as normal but you could take her with you if necessary.

bumblingbovine49 · 30/09/2017 10:50

Personally, I would discuss this solution with the school.

Book 3 nights in a hotel very nearby with space for you and DD(and your younger DD if you can't make alternative arrangements for her to stay with family/friends and go to school as normal).

Ideally your second DD would go to school as normal but you could take her with you if necessary.

tiggytape · 30/09/2017 10:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 30/09/2017 10:53

How do you know she'll be doing different work alone in another classroom? Have you even tried to discuss it?

ilovesooty · 30/09/2017 11:01

Sorry I meant different work in a different classroom.
Do you seriously think no plans will be in place to ensure meaningful learning?

CountFosco · 30/09/2017 11:15

My eldest went away at that age for 3 days (2 nights) and had an incredible time. But it was a Brownie trip, she was in a tent with her best friend and the activities they were doing were the kind of thing she loves. My younger daughter has been away on a Brownie trip but with her big sister, not sure she'd want to do it herself, she has refused to do an after school club because her sister didn't want to go, even though it was an activity she loved.

thatdearoctopus · 30/09/2017 11:21

Posters suggesting the OP books into a local hotel so her dd can partially join the trip are way off-beam with this. There is no way the school will allow this, nor should they.
Can you imagine the disruption to he trip overall? Particularly for any other kids who've been feeling wobbly about going?
If you don't want your child to go, then don't send her. But suck up the fact that that will mean she misses out.

ilovesooty · 30/09/2017 12:07

I don't think it's appropriate to manipulate the situation so she can partially attend or to pressure her to go if she doesn't want to, but if she doesn't participate I think she should be in school.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 30/09/2017 12:22

Are you sure you will be fined for less than 5 days? At our school it is 5 consecutive days.

Has the school had any sessions about it yet with the pupils, i.e. Slide shows of similar trips, presentations by Y5/6 who did it last year? This made my DS so excited about it.

thatdearoctopus · 30/09/2017 13:34

Don't know if it varies between counties (shouldn't do, in my opinion) but where I work, parents can only be fined if there are 15 sessions (i.e. 7.5 days) of absence in any one term. Our parents have continued to take huge numbers of term-time holidays (some families up to 3 a year!) and no one has ever been fined, although that may be about to change.

Ploppie4 · 30/09/2017 14:44

7 years old is a ridiculous age for a compulsory 3 nighter trip. Yes some kids will be up for it but some won't.

My school would allow a child to join in with the day activities while staying at night with a parent.

If you're worried about break times and being isolated in school, discuss this with the head

Ploppie4 · 30/09/2017 14:46

no fine in my county for a week off school

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