To wonder if feminism fucked us over

[splendidisolation]

Looking around at lots of relationships -

Women got the right to work and make money.

In many cases this seems to mean that they now have the right to pay bills, rents and mortgages as well as doing the lions share of cooking, household chores and childcare whilst feeling under intense pressure to engage in hardcore grooming and be sex goddesses.

In the 60s many women didnt work and let their lady gardens grow free - it was all men really knew or wanted.

Fast forward 50 years and they're expected to have careers and strip it all off.

Im muddling loads of points here but does anyone see what I mean?

My DP is pretty good but I still pull more weight than him. The other evening I got home late and started to get up to make dinner. He was like "dont bother yourself making dinner, lets just make sandwiches".

Sandwiches? Bother? I mean, I appreciate the gesture mate but its like...why not just make fucking dinner yourself?

Sorry for this rambling, ranting and general mish mash of thoughts.

Feel free to muse!

I think the talk of feminism is a distraction from the central point, that as individuals we create the partnership we want. If a woman continues to do more than her share of the domestic load as well as earning, she should ask herself why.

So I used to work for a charity that did work on equine welfare in the developing world. (Go with me on this. It will be relevant).

We would put pictures of our work and the animals and people we were helping onto social media. And inevitably someone would be horrified by how thin the horses looked, how could the owners not see it, they must be terribly cruel etc.

But the point was - they almost never were. They were almost always people who cared for and valued their horses - that's why they came to us. It's just that every horse they saw was skinny. All of them, all around. So - that's just what a horse looked like. It was normal, and when something is normal, you just stop noticing it. Until someone points it out.

As with ribby horses, so with the chores. If everywhere you look, women are doing more than the men they live with, they will see that as normal, they might not even notice it. Until someone points it out. That would be what feminism does.

And that is why feminism is relevant, explained via skinny horses. If we hadn't had feminism, how many of us wouldn't have even noticed how uneven things often are? And if we don't notice, how can we change things?