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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Insta mums

999 replies

Harrielady · 27/09/2017 19:23

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
RunningOutOfCharge · 15/01/2018 21:28

These mums are putting themselves out there.... wanting our opinions and attention! Of course threads will appear!!!

Growingboys · 15/01/2018 21:39

Totally agree with you runningoutofcharge

CourtneyLoveIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/01/2018 21:46

What's it to you if they choose to post about their child being constipated

Well, if I'm quite honest, it's fuck all to me. But imagine you're the kid who's bowel issue's have been broadcast to MOD's 417,000 followers.

peneleope82 · 15/01/2018 21:49

But by that logic we'd all be commenting on every single person, page or presence on social media....

Maybe i'm in the minority but if I don't like someone/something I don't follow them. It seems odd to make the choice to engage with someone that for any reason you find annoying and then get in a tizzy about it on a chat forum.

I seem to be in the minority, at least here, I realise that.

anyalovesrose · 15/01/2018 21:54

She’s a baby and I was asking for help, I don’t see it any different to me asking about her teething issues, a nanny rash or sleep regression. And so many other mums had been through it too so gave great advice

CourtneyLoveIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/01/2018 21:54

But by that logic we'd all be commenting on every single person, page or presence on social media

What's your point? MOD's in the public eye and she puts nearly every aspect of her life on her IG page. Her husband instagrammed one of their kids being taken to hospital in an ambulance last year.

Just think about that for a second...

And yet we're only supposed to shower them with positive comments or unfollow them?

'K then 🙄

peneleope82 · 15/01/2018 21:55

There's bigger places to start if you want to get angry about people oversharing their kids on social media - nudity for one. If I'm going to take on a toddler's outrage there are more concerning places to start.

I do see your point for sure but i think the 'instamum' stuff is a relatively mad thing for people to get so het up and at times insulting about. But I'm not that into social media so not particularly over invested so perhaps am missing something.

CourtneyLoveIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/01/2018 21:56

She’s a baby and I was asking for help

Aren't you a Health Care Professional? And your only option, apparently, was asking your followers on Instagram? Come on, Clemmie. You're not that daft.

peneleope82 · 15/01/2018 21:58

I didn't say anything about showering with positive comments.

I just find it odd that people care so much about what a stranger chooses to share on social media. It seems like a lot of unnecessary bad energy to get so cross about it. If someone chooses to put themselves in the public eye it doesn't mean you have to choose to engage with them.

I genuinely don't understand why you would follow someone who you seem to find so abhorrent.

But seems like it's a contentious issue that clearly we wouldn't ever agree on. Have a good evening!

anyalovesrose · 15/01/2018 22:01

I’ve dealt with new born constipation not that of a 15 month old who needed a prescription. I wouldn’t ever dream of using my midwifery knowledge out of context. That’s like asking a midwife to diagnose a broken arm. It does seem that you’re out to get me tonight and I’m not going to rise it. I’m not asking you for likes or positivity but it’s your tone and the way you have spoken about me on mumsnet that is the issue here (as others have too) the sly digs and comments gets tiresome and upsetting.

CourtneyLoveIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/01/2018 22:10

If someone chooses to put themselves in the public eye it doesn't mean you have to choose to engage with them.

I genuinely don't understand why you would follow someone who you seem to find so abhorrent

I don't find her 'abhorrent', I'm sure she's lovely irl as as many people who had their babies delivered by her testified on the original thread. But she's got swept up in this trend of having to instagram every little detail of her life, with no thought of how it might affect her kids in later life. MOD might choose to put herself out there, btw, but what choice do her kids have?

DillyDilly · 15/01/2018 22:13

I’m now wondering if this is actually Clemmie/MOD posting here or an impersonator ? What she’s writing doesn’t really ‘sound’ like her iykwim.

CourtneyLoveIsMySpiritAnimal · 15/01/2018 22:16

I’ve dealt with new born constipation not that of a 15 month old who needed a prescription. I wouldn’t ever dream of using my midwifery knowledge out of context.

Of ffs. It's constipation, not brain surgery. If she needed a prescription, there's this thing called a GP? Ever heard of it?

No 'sly digs' either. I think I've been quite upfront. If you choose not to respond, then that's up to you. Sorry not sorry that you don't like my 'tone'.

peneleope82 · 15/01/2018 22:17

I am about to go to bed and like I said I doubt we'll agree but as I said above, when it comes to kids' privacy there are so many more 'burning issues'. So many people I know share innocent naked photos of their kids on social media or alarming levels of detail on their issues at school for example. I think that's more of a concern.

I genuinely get what you're saying, I do. It just all seems to get unnecessarily nasty and unkind at times on these Instamum threads (not you personally). Maybe i am just too soft for Mumsnet Grin

anyalovesrose · 15/01/2018 22:20

It was bank holiday we were in Cornwall there was no gp available. Anyway I don’t need to justify why I asked my followers for help when I was really worried about my baby. I don’t need to justify anything about my parenting at all, no one should have to

IHATEPeppaPig · 15/01/2018 22:31

Blimey, has this kicked off again?!

Hi Clemmie, for what it's worth, I like you on IG and your twins I could just eat - I would like to see more midwifery posts though rather than #ads but I guess you have to make money!!

anyalovesrose · 15/01/2018 22:35

Thanks they are pretty cute although I’m biased! I don’t do that many ads but yes I need to make a living but I’m careful about what brands I choose to work with. I guess that’s how Instagram is changing

TheCaptainsCat · 15/01/2018 22:40

I follow you on IG too Clemmie, I like your page and stories. I'd like more midwifery posts too, I think that is part of what makes you memorable/interesting and stand out amongst the 'famous insta mums'. That's what I think anyway Smile

IHATEPeppaPig · 15/01/2018 22:45

@anyalovesrose absolutely and I think most instamums that I follow generally promote relevant products (unlike some reality stars that I follow- cluster feeding newborns are the reason for my trashy IG Blush).

I think the whole transparency about ads were an issue on the previous threads which I think have been mainly resolved since it blew up last year (well from what I have seen most people are declaring it more openly!!) and kids privacy, but I think that's a dodgy road that many of us will need to follow in a few years when they grow up!

I commend any instamum in all honesty, I look like shit most of the time and my house is a shit tip - my photos of my children look like drunken 2 foot hooligans at some sort of rubbish dump rave.

anyalovesrose · 15/01/2018 22:45

Thanks that’s really nice and helpful, I’ve got lots of midwifery things coming up this year so watch this space!

KERALA1 · 15/01/2018 23:02

Read "the circle" by Dave eggars and you will never want to post yourself on social media again.

Lolly17 · 15/01/2018 23:06

I don't know what this means?🙈

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 15/01/2018 23:14

I worry hugely about the privacy issues and the fact that it looks as though it would be very simple to work out where a lot of instagrammers live. I don't ever think it's a good idea to take medical advice from randoms on the internet either. Always better to call 112 - that would have been a lot quicker than waiting for Dr Raj to reply (or whatever random was pretending to be him)

These are basic internet safety precautions and legitimate concerns - I do wonder how instagram parents explain to their children how to keep safe on the internet when a lot of their behaviours are contrary to recommended safety advice that schools dole out.

SandyInBourne · 15/01/2018 23:56

THTMM here.

OP, get over yourself. Not everyone on MN even knows what Instagram is... Some actually don't.

I always make it clear when something's an add and often cock up, if you watch my stories, there's a very recent one on there! But I haven't deleted any mistakes because if companies don't like it then sod them.

And yes, my house is always tidy but I'm a neat freak!

RunningOutOfCharge · 16/01/2018 00:27

Why would we want to watch your 'stories' with an ad? Or a mistake?

What is wrong with you?