Insta mums

[Harrielady]

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

Oh dear, FOD's latest stories was a classic "it is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" moment. No-one has to love being insulted but it's as if MOD and FOD are now too self important to be criticised and unfortunately it's coming across as cringey, poor girls.

I agree Jipeston with regard to FOD keeping a dignified silence. I actually quite like him, and really, really like MOD (especially the house renovation posts). However, I genuinely can't understand why, with his 750K plus followers, FOD would care that someone called him a wanker on a forum. So what? Not everyone has to like him.

He tell us he doesn't care, but obviously cared enough to post on Stories that he doesn't care? It just seems a hullabaloo over nothing.

Cringing for FOD (and his family) after watching last night’s Instastories. Yuck.

Instagram definitely part of my life now. Many Insta people I really really enjoy.

Don't care if they #ad #gift #sponsored etc I get they are running businesses. As long as they are clear about it. Anything like that they do at their peril because it can really feel all wrong.

Only time will tell how it will impact on the kids - my kids demand to know if I'm putting anything up on my small private Instagram. Partly because a couple of their teen friends follow. Imagine if all their friends had viewing access? ! As in many of these very public Insta accounts.

Bit over the top FOD about the wanker comment though.

You need a hide like a rhinoceros putting your whole life on view. Every comment is not going to be great surely?

I like Mod and Pukka as well but I'm really not comfortable with the having your kids all over IG.

But I came to them later on. My kids are teens so I don't really need the parenting aspect of their accounts. I like Mods's fashion sense and her house and Anna seems like a funny, genuine person and both are passionate about midwifery and flexible working (respectively).

I can take or leave FOD though (sorry). If I want to see inept, male parenting, I'll just watch my DH.

I don’t understand why FoD did those videos, surely you just say nothing in that position. Embarrassing to watch. I don’t follow him anyway, I’m generally not interested in the men, although it’s interesting he has so many more followers than MoD.

I think it's interesting that he's addressed the "wanker" comment so voraciously but there's no response to the comments about the ethics of using their children for publicity.

I always kinda liked Pukka..But I find the whole Grandmother Pukka thing cringe..
I don't follow FOD but I had a look this morning whilst waiting for the kettle to boil and wow..All he seemed to do for me was to prove that he really is a massive smug one.
This all must all pay really well though as Brummy Mummy has given up her head of department teaching job to be a full time insta YouTube mum.
Don't ask her about transparency though as went off on one threatening to stop opening her boxes of insta freebies on her story.Saying she doesn't get sent much etc.
I do wonder though who watches her YouTube of her doing yet another Poundland haul?
The other one that's really not sitting comfortably with me is the one who is pushing her 'You ok hun?' Mental health page.Pushing her best mate who is a life coach..Whilst I totally believe it should be spoken about and not hidden away etc,I do find it very hard to stomach when (yes I realise her ex bff did a terrible thing in lying about her terminal illness) But surely when her ex bff came clean, once the shock and dust settled she must of realised that she was did it because she was suffering with some serious MH issues.Instead gained a huge amount of followers due to her insta posts about it etc etc.
She even did that ridiculous hashtag where a load of them took a smug photo in front of a wall hashtagging it something like #Whenyourfriendliedaboutcancer or something like that.How can you push you being such a MH
Guru and do that.
It just doesn't sit right with me.
I do enjoy DMB40 though.

Yeah, missed opportunity there bread.

For what it’s worth I have no beef with M Pukka, I’m a SAHM who left they’re job last year as I couldn’t make it work so I’m glad someone is fighting the flexible corner.

*their job

Thanks for the timewise recommendation Anna - very helpful.

I think it’s great that the people this thread is about have engaged with it - it makes their accounts more honest as you know that’s how they would be reacting either way.

The term ‘social influencer’ sounds so knobby but it’s a real thing and people are influenced by them so they should be able to monetize that in the same way bloggers and youtubers do.

I do understand the small brand push, as much of their audience is middle class and can afford this. I’d be quite interested to see things like charity shop hauls as my worry is whatever your price range there is so much wastage with baby clothes and toys because whether you buy them from a small brand or Next they grow so quickly.

The activism side of MP or pregnantandscrewed will I hope be taken forward

@sashayaway76 Natalie bailie? The whole incident with asha was terrible. She completely annihilated a poor mum, who has a very complex mental health problem. Using her illness for followers. Then goes on about how she is a mental health advocate? I feel so bad for Asha. I do hope she is getting the right treatment.

I would like MotherPukka to set up her own site where women can share experiences of flexible working, support each other through applications for FW and how to find flexible jobs. I don't think you can do that on Instagram, but she has opened conversations on IG that I don't feel end up going anywhere (no real conversations happen in the comments on IG, generally just arguments or love-ins). I think it could be self financing via employers also looking to tap into the pool of talented women currently unable to work at the level they want because of the barriers they face. Bit like mumsnet but with a specific focus.

@Palegreenstars @40plusnotgivingupyet does charity shop hauls

I recently discovered Feathering the Empty Nest and I just don't know what to make of her at all.

Her story is tragic and fair play for being visible as a mum who lost her child. Kudos for raising awareness too.

But then the #ad and #spon posts just make me feel a bit yuck. Because she's also running a business isn't she?

Just had a look at MOD and FODs' pages. Not for me. To be fair, they must believe that the world in general adores them....many do...and out of their thousands of followers they seem to get hundreds of gushing comments which will feed their egos. So they get a false idea of what many others think.

Because many, many others think otherwise - SO many would have huge issues over using their kids to flog cereal, nappies or whatever else. As well as publicising the minutiae of their everyday lives and giving the green light to fuck knows who to come up to their kids and address them by name...hundreds of thousands of people who know all about their kids' lives, what their bedrooms look like, what they are learning about at school, what they like/don't like...it's just so invasive for kids like them and I feel for them. Bloody shame. Who's in their corner voicing concerns when they're too young to agree to all this?

I read somewhere that a lot of these people with 1000s of followers get a disproportionate and highly unrealistic perception of themselves because they truly believe that the gushing comments of their followers are representative of the world overall...and because MOD and FOD are so bombarded with these comments daily they have taken umbrage over one random calling FOD a wanker...it's ridiculous 😂 thousands of people will think he is a wanker for reasons above...but they've chosen to do what they do so that should be part of it...accepting that people have their own opinions and many disagree with the ethics of of what they do, amd essentially see it as pimping their kids online.. Not everyone thinks the sun shines out their arses.

The worrying thing is that because MOD got an apologetic message she thinks one person was just having a bad day and that it's ok, everyone still loves them! They don't. And many will think FOD is a wanker, or worse. Don't know why they can't deal with that!

@HastaLaBarista good idea and something I’ve been struggling with. It comes down to time and money I suppose. My role is more of a reporter in this; to pool as much current/ relevant information as possible to inform those being discriminated against or struggling. And there are already outfits/institutions set up like Timewise and the Equality and Human Rights Commission that do that to a certain extent and have funding/ huge backing. Same with Return to Teach - any teachers out there looking for flexible working? But good to know what you see because yes, it can sometimes feel like a wave of positivity out there. As my Dad said, “also think of all the people not liking your posts, what do they want?”

I don't understand why you're all saying FOD should have just kept quiet and not responded - none of you are keeping your opinions and comments to yourselves and I'm sure if someone singled you out and called you a wanker you'd want to respond too.
I thought his response was quite witty.

FOD proving the original point of the poster who was 'having a bad day' with those stories So embarrassing.

Popular culture is constantly shoving good looking, rich white people down our throats. Thank god there is a corner of the internet saying it's bollocks.

They really are being a bit precious about one person calling him a wanker on the internet.

Try being called names in the street because of your disability, race or religion. Those people don't put themselves out there but are verbally abused by people every day. Just last week some idiot shouted midget at me in a theme park, my 4 year old son was left upset by it and clearly heard it, and why was I called that, because I dared to be different and out with my kid. Other people are getting a lot worse every damn day from other members of the public and just getting on with it.

Really grow some thick skin and get over the comment. It was over the internet, not in his face, not in front of his kids and just someone's opinion.

@badmotherpukka thanks for the reply. I just feel like Timewise (which I have used) and other organisations do a lot to disseminate information but don't provide the support I was looking for when I was trying to get back into work (and recover from some of the negative experiences I had suffered as well). My husband probably got fed up of me talking about it and I didn't to constantly offload to my friends either. Talking things through with strangers on the internet can sometimes be surprisingly effective.

I dunno, can you not team up with Timewise or a big corporate with an interest in this, be sponsored and paid to do it. Even mumsnet? I just feel there is a real gap in the market for this and someone like you could be ideal to fill it

Have you heard of/met Jessica Chivers? She spoke at an event I went to and I have her book. I think you and her would get on great.