Insta mums

[Harrielady]

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

They never answer. Because they don't want to lose the free stuff, basically.

@seagulltargetpractice it’s down to audience and ‘numbers’ I suppose. I have the privileged background that has set me up to have a career in the media and create that audience. It is absolutely unfair. I work hard but yes, it is unfair. The whole system is unfair. I am trying to support my family and - regardless of what anyone thinks of my campaign - fight for a better, more inclusive workforce for everyone. I am one person. A flawed person, sure, but also just trying to work through this.

We're ALL trying to support our family.

I do feel a bit sorry for @badmotherpukka. Yes I see how instagram can affect self confidence & ads can be grating however she is not the spokesperson for all of instagram ills.

I will hide now!

@Seagulltargetpractice @RedRedDogsBeg yes I am embarrassed at times. Increasingly less so as I’m finding brands like The Department of Transport looking to push their Year of Engineering campaign to get more girls into the industry. Or Reading Eggs where followers can use the software for their pre-schoolers for free. But it is uncomfortable for you and I. This whole exercise and coming on here isn’t a ‘brand saving’ one for me. It’s one that helps me work out what I want from this. Who I’m talking to. Why I’m doing this. I’m applying for jobs at the moment with the aim of getting back to broadcasting and journalism where my heart lies.

@nowater34 thanks, I know I’m not liked here particularly. But I appreciate you sticking your neck out. I have to leave now because I’ve said what I can for the moment and my kids are hollering.

I totally agree that bashing Mother Pukka on here definitely isn't the answer to all of this. She's just one woman, and can't answer for instaparents as a collective. But the problem is that they're seemingly untouchable, because if you call them out on their feeds they whinge about you in their stories or set their 'u ok hun' followers on you.

@Badmotherpukka I don't think you're not liked here....almost the opposite. It seems to me that you get lots of kudos / credit for coming on here, answering your critics and engaging.

It is, after all, just a forum - you'll never please all of the people etc etc and everyone won't agree with you/your stance or opinions on all topics. This is true right across the board(s) here though.

However, it's a tougher gig for you compared with your Instagram comments as, by default, most of the people there like you and can be of the "love u hun" type which is all very self-affirming or, at least, pleasant to read.

It's definitely different here (anonymous for one thing!) but, honestly, I think you get credit for coming on. I read a fair amount on here and you seem to be one of the (very few) liked InstaMums....definitely not hated anyway!

Interesting view on "but why you and not some other random Mum" and you've hit it right on the head. It could be other people, if only they'd set up an Insta account, caught the right wave etc etc but they didn't for many reasons. Be that, time, inclination and/or media/writing skills. As an example, there are, I am sure, MANY journalists out there who are also mothers and can't seem to get any freelance work either - but they didn't get into Insta albeit they think they could do it just as well as you do. But the fact is, they didn't do it! I'm not suggesting it's always just sour grapes on their part, they might not feel it is/was for them anyway - the flogging, the amount of photos, whatever!

Anyway, just wanted to add a few words saying that I don't think you're hated on here and I, for one, find the whole Insta stuff absolutely fascinating as a "new" media. It's true magazines and TV ads have been there for a long time advertising to us and also pretending not to advertise to us - this is just newer! I don't see why social media peeps shouldn't have some of the advertising dollar but I also do understand the whole "you're like us so we followed you but now you're not like us because you get freebies and sell to us" thing is a bit galling. I think people who read Insta etc are also finding their feet with it. If they decide they don't like it, in large enough numbers, they will unfollow and it might die a death taking its advertising dollar with it. Who knows?!!

Jeez.....let's face it, it's absolutely what our own children have to deal with now. Just take a look at ol' Kylie K.....one post about hardly using Snapchat and its share price tumbles?!?!? Now THAT'S influence

Definitely don't hate Motherpukka, or any of the mums mentioned here. I just disagree with, well, basically, their ethics.

Tbh I think if you're upset by people stealth advertising on Instagram, you don't understand Instagram because that's really what it predominantly is - random people with a lot of followers advertising things and other people posting enough interesting posts to get a following so that they get to advertise things. But here's the amazing thing. You get to choose who you follow, so if you don't like them anymore because their content isn't interesting anymore now they're a shill or because they make you feel like shit, you can just unfollow them and follow other people.

Insta was always going to go this way because peer endorsements are so powerful and people can get quite invested in these people and see them as peers/ friends when they're actually just a random on the internet trying to shift some protein shake so they can afford to quit work and realise their dream of being a professional Crossfitter.

Thanks for mansplaining social media to us.

I don't have a problem with the instamums or them doing what they gotta do (as long as they are transparent about it) (id probably be doing the same if it was that or leaving my kids every day to go to work and my life was vaguely instagrammable) but i am on the brink of unfollowing @anyalovesrose because it's all just sooooo materialistic bought this bought that going to buy this and that. and it's a shame because I was bought her book in pregnancy and was a fan before i even knew she had an insta.

I’m a woman

seagulltargetpractice summed it up for me on the previous page. The feelings of inadequacy because I can’t even dream of giving my kids half the opportunities are very real. And I have unfollowed several accounts because of it. I get that people want to make money, but it’s just gone too far for me.

Of all the popular instamum accounts I'd recommend esthermcoren

She's funny, nothing false or put on

I dont what an instamum is - but i am a mum and my instagram is full of my children getting up to all sorts or horrible mischief cute things. My house is almost always a tip and one or both of my dogs is always photobombing us. There are certain people i follow on there that i have ended up buying stuff from though - things you wouldnt neccesarily see on the high street etc.

Have I missed something the last couple of days?

This! I couldn’t agree more. WHat also pains me are these mums who get things for free, could easily afford it without being gifted.

There isn’t much point of mod and mother pukka coming on here to fight their corner. Deep down they are only out for themselves and their families. Couldn’t give a toss about other mums and their daily struggles. Hence them accepting ridiculous collabs!

@jaylouf
A wanker? Did you actually call my husband a wanker? What has he ever done to hurt you? Like you said if you don’t enjoy someone’s feed unfollow but don’t stoop so low and come onto a forum and hide behind a user name to slag people off. I’m so glad my monotonous tone made you unfollow me good riddance

Are instamummies a thing? I’ll have to check it out. We had a full refurb done on our house a while back. Photographs pretty well. Should I become one? Would I have to dress my DD in head to toe pink tulle?

Just find a colour brick wall. Stand infront of it, take a photo, wearing a t shirt that a white middle class women made- something liberating like ‘free the flaps etc. Cut your hair in a bob, with a heavy fringe and maybe some retro classes. Dress your kids up in #gifted small brands shop. Talk about how your kids pissed you off even though they have been at school/nursery/nannies all day. drink gin and only gin! Whine about your size 12 post partum body. Start some empowering #. That’s it I think? Oh you’ll have to be middle class and white first though. We don’t like seeing any poor people on instagram, please!

That was a bit harsh @Jaylouf

Constance Hall is awful, btw. She's very 'I'm mad, me! Look how keraaazy and bohemian I am!' and hardly ad free because she pushes her own products (or is that allowed?).

I think some posters have summed it up in that it's so boring. It's not imaginative. The same old posts about how hard children are (FOD) and crap nappies, and boring decorating (MOD) it's so yawn.

And yes several do seem to be clones. Floaty skirt or jeans, white top, middle class, middle age. Where is the diversity. I wouldn't mind ads if they were from real family's with real opinions we could trust!

Constance Hall is a car crash. She gets lauded for writing long rambling essays about how hard it is to be a woman and how the man in her life doesn't do his share of the childcare, etc. People lap it up. And then she shacks up with an extremely scuzzy looking waster and repeats the process with a different man.