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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Insta mums

999 replies

Harrielady · 27/09/2017 19:23

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 05/03/2018 08:15

My latest favourite was Mrs Meldrun and her holiday to Tenerife. Lovely photo of them all boarding the plane, big airline logo for us all to see. Oh and not forgetting actually seeing the computer screen when they were booking their flights. Ridiculous.

PavlovaPrincess · 05/03/2018 08:27

I think you've apologised plenty @Badmotherpukka and fair play to you for holding your hand up and saying you were wrong.

I haven't noticed any of the others who were featured in that photo shoot saying sorry anywhere near as much as you seem to have, if at all. I think you're suffering for being more 'accessible' than the the others, but I honestly think it's time to let it drop (although I'm sure others will have a different opinion, as they always do).

seagulltargetpractice · 05/03/2018 08:32

#gifted implies the sender giving away their goods purely out of love. We're not stupid, Instamums...

nowater34 · 05/03/2018 08:44

Slightly off topic as I don’t follow any instamums ( my children are enough!) but for me instagram was a great alternative to magazines & gave platforms to people you wouldn’t necessarily see in magazines.

I have no problem with ads & gifts as long as it’s transparent & fits with the brand. However I do find it frustrating that since the algorithms changed you only see the big names & inevitably they are the ones that are already well represented in other media eg white, mc, slim etc. Which is where Next has obviously got in to trouble.

Props to @badmotherpukka for answering her critics. I gave up my career as flexible working was not an option & it’s incredibly frustrating.

HeyRoly · 05/03/2018 09:02

#gifted implies the sender giving away their goods purely out of love. We're not stupid, Instamums...

Exactly! And it also implies that they know that having adverts on their Insta isn't quite in the spirit. Because if you weren't a little bit embarrassed about doing #ads, then you'd just own it.

And yes, I hate the imolication that it's OK to do product placement by stealth because we're too stupid to know when we're being marketed to.

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:10

@HeyRoly I believe #gifted was coined here on Mumsnet. There was a huge discussion around the issue of transparency and the majority believed #gift made sense in this set-up and so it was used. I agree ‘this is not an #ad/ this is a #gift not an #ad’ grates. But if it’s not working, then that’s something to consider. Maybe query this with the ASA too?

RedRedDogsBeg · 05/03/2018 09:13

HeyRoly well... that's you told!!!

How about #grabbed or #freebie....

TITANIUMPINS · 05/03/2018 09:19

Offt if you ask for pubic opinions you will get it and it will be a right mixed bag. Personally I found mumsnet to be very helpful with some good advice and general moral support over some issues I have been having. Its a bt ike saying does my bum look big and then being annoyed if someone says yes. I work on the basis if I ask an opinion i might not like the response but I did ask. Although I am sure there are people on this forums that do a bit or trolling :-) I didnt read the insta feed but live and let live. They dont make me feel inadequete I feel its like a magazine too.

seagulltargetpractice · 05/03/2018 09:23

#anotherfeckinfreebie

#butyouhavetopayforyours

#fuckyou

HeyRoly · 05/03/2018 09:26

I believe #gifted was coined here on Mumsnet. There was a huge discussion around the issue of transparency

Indeed there was, but IIRC it was more to do with the Insta mums and dads who didn't fess up to which posts were #ads and which were not, even though it was glaringly obvious.

I don't recall there being a Mumsnet consensus that Insta families should delineate between a gift and an ad. Frankly I find it a bit odd that MN should be the place where transparency standards are set. Did everyone get the memo? Grin

Anyway, as far as I am concerned #gift is disingenuous and an advert is an advert is an advert.

HeyRoly · 05/03/2018 09:29

Maybe query this with the ASA too?

Ooh, that's a nice jibe, top marks.

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:29

@RedRedDogsbeg Just explaining where it came from. And if it’s an issue, it’s something we/ the ASA should fix? Or not?

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:32

@HeyRoly, I think it’s a huge mess, absolutely. It’s a relatively new platform and brands have suddenly jumped onto it. That was never going to be a seamless transition. I get why you don’t want to see me flogging you things. I didn’t mean the ASA comment to be passive aggressive (or aggressive/ a jibe) in any way. Just think we could both do with their input so that yes, absolutely the guidelines are not being written here.

Mrsjellybum · 05/03/2018 09:35

YOU SAID:

Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive!

YET YOU GO ON TO DO THE EXACT SAME THING:

Calling people fucking idiots and slating people.

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:38

@Mrsjellybum sorry who said that? Can’t see the comment.

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:40

@Mrsjellybum ignore me, you mean the first comment.

seagulltargetpractice · 05/03/2018 09:43

I'd love to dress my DC in the small brands they rave about. But, like most mums, I exist on a very tight budget. So my child will have to make do with what we can afford.

When you see children (from richer families than yours) kitted out in beautiful small brand clothes - all provided for free - it HURTS. It makes you feel like you've failed your kid in their Tu trackie bottoms and George @ ASDA sweatshirt. Because yes it's just clothes, but we all know that money and privilege DO shape a child's future. We can love our children equally but we all know that the kids in the homes decked out with Anthropologie will have less of a fight on their hands when they eventually grow up and enter the adult realm.

So seeing #gifted stuff everywhere just further drums it into us that our kids, and by extension us, are less important. Because we have to save for weeks to be able to afford a decent car seat when people that could afford them get given them for free.

RedRedDogsBeg · 05/03/2018 09:47

Here's an idea..... why don't all the 'instamums' make a bit of a stand against these big brands?

Why don't you all say 'no'

Would that work @Badmotherpukka ?

RedRedDogsBeg · 05/03/2018 09:48

After all, they are using YOU to get to US.... aren't they?

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:51

@RedRedDogsBeg OK but the big brands will continue advertising. That’s what they do. They have huge advertising budgets that have to be spent. You just don’t like me getting that spend, which I understand.

seagulltargetpractice · 05/03/2018 09:54

But why should it be you? Why not me? Or the woman that lives next door to me that has four kids, one of them a son with terminal cancer?

RedRedDogsBeg · 05/03/2018 09:54

@Badmotherpukka they advertise on tv/magazines/radio

Easy audiences

But it's now like they are hunting us down and it feels very intrusive. Are we not safe anywhere from mass produced consumables? Why do you .... and your fellow instamums allow and enable it? Aren't you a bit embarrassed?

Badmotherpukka · 05/03/2018 09:55

@RedRedDogsBeg yes they are. They are paying us to highlight their products to you, the audience (if you choose to be the audience). They have paid celebrities to highlight their products for decades. They have and will continue to use that budget to highlight their products where there is an audience. You don’t like me getting that budget and I do understand that. I can’t stress enough this is not passive aggressive/ aggressive in any way, in case things get lost in translation.

seagulltargetpractice · 05/03/2018 09:55

You want to support mums. But you also want to make money.

And I'm afraid the two things are mutually exclusive.

Supporting women should never be about making profit for personal gain.

RedRedDogsBeg · 05/03/2018 09:58

@Badmotherpukka

Majority of us don't want to see it

Our small safe corner of the internet is being invaded by the big ads.... making people feel shit.... you are enabling that

You didn't answer..... are you not embarassed ?