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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Insta mums

999 replies

Harrielady · 27/09/2017 19:23

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

OP posts:
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VileyRose · 20/01/2018 11:13

I am glad it's not just me. I HATE it!

'RE social media and kids. I totally agree.

AnnaT45 · 20/01/2018 11:24

This thread reiterates what I have said on MN many times before. If women weren't so focused on pulling each other down we would rule the world.

As mums we all do out best, sometimes we get it wrong, sometimes we get it right. Either way there is no guidebook for all this stuff and we learn as go along.

I love Instagram. It was a huge life line for me when I had babies, I've found so many other mums who echo how I feel and I find that really comforting. I don't sit on my phone all day everyday. But I do like it when I feel isolated with my kids or when I have five mins when working (work from home so can be lonely)

I don't blame instamums for making money, it's a great idea and companies benefit as much as the mums. It's hard finding work with young kids and this works perfectly!

I know it's been said before but if you don't like them, don't follow them! I hate Corrie so I don't watch it

Ktay · 20/01/2018 11:32

Just a quick plea to lurking instamums: please swallow whatever you’re eating fully before you pick up your phone to ‘story’. All this ‘just finished a jacket potato!’/‘just been to school cake sale!’ drives me bonkers. You really can afford to wait another 30 seconds and talk to us with an empty mouth.

RunningOutOfCharge · 20/01/2018 11:58

This thread reiterates what I have said on MN many times before. If women weren't so focused on pulling each other down we would rule the world.

Hmmhave read some rubbish here on MN before, but this!??

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 20/01/2018 12:13

I know it's been said before but if you don't like them, don't follow them! I hate Corrie so I don't watch it

Watching Corination Street does not create child protection/safety issues Hmm

I hate all this guff that women should unthinkingly support women. Read some serious case review where this has happened (midwives/usually female social workers putting adult females' feelings before the needs and wellbeing of children) and see how that works out. In the factual analysis, the usual complaints of "bullying" and "nastiness" abound from the parents

Sassychiccy · 20/01/2018 17:35

Some of the people mentioned on here aren’t posting images of children, so the comments have no backing other than spite.

WipsGlitter · 20/01/2018 19:14

What annoys me is the inference that they are the first people to have children and it's their job to explain that it's actually, y'know a bit tricky sometimes. So pappa pukka on his own today with the baby = first man to ever do this. Soft play is shit and boring - yes we know. Women would like more flexible working - no shit Sherlock. Hmm

wisterialanes · 20/01/2018 19:30

I didn't really know what the whole Flex thing was but over the last few days MP has been putting DM's on her story of people thanking her for her work and how they went to their boss after reading her book? and demanded flexible hours and then they got them. Is it really that simple? What is in her book? Legislation or just the ideal of flexible hours?

Babaloo88 · 13/02/2018 23:05

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LondonHereICome · 14/02/2018 00:55

MOD has been beyond tedious over past few months

I don't know what she's trying to do but it's dull

Susie verill and Esther coren have had me in tears of laughter lately though!

planetclom · 14/02/2018 01:01

Well you haven't filled me with joy and support, so Doh! Fail! You have managed to tell me off and I haven't even seen the insta mums post.

Practice what you preach

Babaloo88 · 14/02/2018 07:35

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lookingforthecorkscrew · 14/02/2018 09:17

I don't have an issue with a mum and dad taking their kids away on holiday in half term, even if they do get it on comp and have to spend half their time, camera in hand, trying to capture spontaneous pictures of their offspring. I don't even care if they then advertise within their advertisements about the things that they've been 'gifted' (sent for free in return for a mention) that have made their holiday sooooo much easier. None of this makes them evil, it just makes them tip top capitalists.

I care that a huge swathe of children won't be going anywhere on holiday this half term, or this summer, or any summer in the foreseeable future. Where is their representation? The privilege on instagram parenting accounts is becoming insufferable.

Babaloo88 · 15/02/2018 01:30

No one said they were evil. Just frankly quite annoying. Unfortunately the middle class insta mums couldn’t give two hoots about the lower class ‘real mums’ who are struggling to make ends meet. What annoys me is that these mums, who are from well to do back grounds, married city workers with a good pay check is now showing off all their freebies. Knowing perfectly well that they can afford these luxuries themselves.

kungpopanda · 15/02/2018 02:06

FakePlasticTeaLeaves @
"I would suggest a nice cup of tea and an epsom salts bath."

I'd suggest precisely the reverse. Sorry if someone else has given similar advice - on p2/13, lts...

lookingforthecorkscrew · 15/02/2018 08:52

I find it a bit distasteful that they're swanning around Florida advertising all it has to offer on the day the deadliest high school shooting since Sandy Hook happened a few hours down the road...

LondonHereICome · 15/02/2018 12:43

Maybe they had planned on going to Florida anyway....

lookingforthecorkscrew · 15/02/2018 12:51

I'm not saying it's their fault that they are there at the same time, I'm just saying it galls a bit to see posts of them shopping in a state that's just seen a huge tragedy. They could've maybe laid off it for a night.

Babaloo88 · 15/02/2018 19:00

I totally agree. Another reason as to why I cannot stand MOD/FOD.
Hopefully they raise to z listed fame will soon end when people realise; their lives are not all what they make it out to be

Badmotherpukka · 15/02/2018 19:25

Hi, it’s Anna from Mother Pukka. I’m just responding to the question about why I’m running Flex Appeal - our flexible working campaign. It’s a fair question because I posted about it way back when I began the website so have just clarified it on my Instagram for anyone interested. Any other questions about what our point is/ where we are trying to take it, please ask.

StickThatInYourPipe · 15/02/2018 20:20

I think the child safety issue arguments are very valid and I’m unsure why people don’t realise how easy it is to find out what school a child goes to. If you know the area they live in it doesn’t take a genius to work it out.

But all that aside, I would be so embarrassed if my mother had plastered me all over social media as a child. Plus going into work knowing a quick google search by an employer/colleague could drag up pictures of me having tantrums as a child etc would very much upset me.

I don’t think Instamums think about the future impact this amount of exposure can have on children as they grow up, but then I hate pics of children on social media anyway.

cannotchange · 15/02/2018 20:39

I have decided I HATE Instagram, particularly the Instamum variety.

These people are supposed to be grown up, intelligent, educated, but the drivel that they post is beyond inane and stupid.

'Look at my new shoes, they're pink, I loves pink I do'

With stupid followers responding, you're so beautiful, you're so stylish, where did you buy your pink shoes please, I have to buy them as my little brain can't work out what to wear on it's own.

Then the rampant materialism and consumerism - look at my new tiles, sofa, kitchen, bath and so on....I want you all to fawn over my stuff !

That's all it is - stuff

Then the contrived side of it - I know an Instagramer and what she posts is so far from her real life, it's ridiculous

And don't even get me started on using your children to try and get your 15mins of fame - that's what it is, these people somehow think they are famous for posting stupid pictures and words on social media

AlansBigPlate · 15/02/2018 21:52

I had to register just so I could comment on this! After following MOD and FOD for ages, I finally hit the unfollow button this week. The Florida trip finally, for me, took the accounts out of the realm of fun, nice to look at posts, to just plainly making me feel crap about what I can and cannot provide for my kids.

I can’t say it wouldn’t be hard to turn down a freebie, but I just can’t relate to either of them anymore.

Chimchar · 15/02/2018 22:40

It's not my usual style to slag people off, but I unfollowed MOD a good while ago. FOD Gets on my nerves, but I was still following. Then I saw the fucking Florida post and it just really pissed me off. I've no idea why...can't put my finger on it. Have since unfollowed him too.

I left Facebook years ago for many reasons, but one of them was being made to feel inadequate by people who kept posting about their apparent perfect, wonderful lives. I struggle with my mental health and it just kept making me feel bad about myself. Instamums and dads are doing the same to me now, so I'm unfollowing most of them.

I don't even know why I was following any of them in the first place...my kids are in their teens!

Are there any good instamums of teen kids to follow?

Babaloo88 · 15/02/2018 22:50

I do think instamums play such a havoc on other parents mental health and self esteem. It’s actually quite damaging, just like young teens flicking through magazines looking at size -0 models. Having this unrealistic expectations of their bodies. It’s exactly what we are doing by going on their Instagram; wondering why the hell we can’t afford 3 bedroom plus house in London, pay for 4 holidays per year etc or even to go part time- or work one measly day a week like MOD. Making us all feel like failures as mothers/parents because we can never give as much to our kids with our hardworking money then them. With their stay at home luxuries and free amazing #gifted items.

I really wish they realise how damaging their posts are...

Ps I find it disgusting that MOD/FOD is going around disney world talking about how fantastic morning after what happened yesterday...