Insta mums

[Harrielady]

What the actual fuck?! I have just joined mumsnet and can say I will be leaving it after the negativity I've experienced. I joined expecting women helping women.
Women encouraging other women. Whether that's with their children, their marriage or their careers?! 'Insta mums' are mums who have decided a career in instagramming! And why the fuck not?! Before you ask no I am not an insta mum. Not that I wouldn't want to be - I just can't be bothered to tidy. But they do! They make their homes beautiful and enjoy decorating and showing their efforts off. Other women are inspired and they can bring many other women joy and happiness. Who are you bringing joy and happiness too? Going into the internet and plastering negative energy and bitter comments is not helpful, not nice and not at all fucking productive! You bitch about these women spending their days cleaning and shopping and not 'caring for thier kids' but how are you fucking idiots any better?!? Your too busy slagging off other hard working women to get your kicks. It's sad. Pathetic and downright bullying.
Something's that have been posted have hurt 'insta mums' and have caused upset - what have they actually done to you?? You are no better than the disgusting internet trolls who target celebrities or others who are slightly better looking or better off than yourselves. Get a grip.

I know none of them set out to make anyone feel bad, but agree this is something they maybe need to think about. The Florida trip posts just made me feel a little sad that, despite both me and my husband working, we will never be able to give our children those advantages/surprises/opportunities.

Who or what is MOD or FOD?

mean

Mother of daughters
Father of daughters.

Sorry, meand

Thanks @Jammycustard

Well I've mentioned the 2 who I like .... they are funny and non flashy even though both are privileged in different ways

Take what you want from it all but I don't think any of them set out to make us feel bad ... probably the opposite tbh

I never even saw the insta mum thread! What have I done to deserve this.......

Agree re MOD and FOD, they’ve become dreadfully vacuous and dull. Motherpukka is championing such a great cause, so the odd sponsorship here and there is, to me, fair payment for the sheer hours she puts in. Mod and Fod.... I don’t get them anymore, and they barely engage with followers, they seem to receive a lot, but not give much to their legions of fans. Lots of lifestyle but no reality, apart from jolly, faux funny happenings. There’s no substance at all, and they became completely unrelatable so I unfollowed. Now pp are talking about Florida, I’m glad I’ve been blissfully unaware! I still follow lots of other instamums and their ads of #gifts don’t bother me at all, as they’re actually making an effort to produce good ‘content’ and deserve to get something back.

I have to agree with those PPs saying some instamums make them feel inadequate (although of course that's not their intention). I think I should probably unfollow MOD/FOD too, have previously really enjoyed their posts but stuff like this does just make me feel rather hopeless about all the holidays we can't afford. (Although unfair to say MOD only works one measly day a week, imo)

Love MP. Her recent post about the changing room nappy disaster was brilliant. That's what we need from instamums

MP is excellent. Another decent and seemingly very honest one is Clemmie Telford (see latest baby nursery photos which include 'what my house actually looks like').

Re MOD/FOD, yes I agree it's car crash viewing. And has become noticeably more so recently. But ffs don't let it make you feel bad about what you can / cannot give your kids. They plaster their kids over the internet and books in return for a free half term holiday.

OP, couldn't be bothered to read your entire OP, never mind the thread, but feel I must put my two [negative] cents in.
'Insta-mums' (what a truly ghastly appellation) do not bestow 'joy and happiness' to all and sundry.
They go around clicking at everything shiny in a mad hope that someone somewhere would feel envious at their 'creations', to show the 'world' how perfect their lives are etc ad nauseam.
But why should 'the world' care?
Insta-mums' belief in their own importance greatly outweighs that of their intended audience.

Regards insta mums with teens I doubt that would ever exist. Mums posting about their children for monetary gain is revolting and love that children are now sueing said mums for putting their lives on the internet without permission.
Teens are notoriously private and able to tell these greedy insta mums to fuck off and stop. So I don't think there are any teen mum bloggers.

Just had a look on IG, mums of teenagers doesn’t seem to be a thing as far as I can see. Which isn’t surprising I think, as probably most teenagers would not appreciate being filmed or written about like that.
Interestingly a few people I know who follow MoD have mentioned In conversation recently that the tone of that IG account has changed and is more materialistic for want of a better word. The wallpaper, clothes etc. I suppose you can’t please all of the people all of the time though, and whilst a free holiday would be lovely, I’ve neither the ability or inclination to emulate what they do on social media-looks like far too much effort!

My favourite ‘insta mums’ are Scummy Mummies, Mother Pukka and Unmumsy Mum.

There's one called The only girl in the house who has older boys - not yet teens though
I think. She's good in that's there's not much gifting shite just lots of standing round at football and Xbox bans!

Little Wood Life has a pre teen girl although she appears infrequently.

Nobody on the internet makes me feel bad about my own life. But I do enjoy some instamums and other social media stuff. Its like reading a glossy mag-bit of escapism rather than buying into the whole lifestyle. I like some of the fashion bloggers too although they can be a bit “out there” with some clothes.
And when I don’t like something I just unfollow. Although I do think a bit of variation is a good thing. I followed loads of drag queens back along but have culled a few lately and stuck with my faves.
But then again I’ve found I care a lot less about social media the older I get. It’s all smoke and mirrors-the same as celeb culture!
I’ve found some great IG accounts from recommendations on mumsnet too.

I had to unfollow Motherpukka after the Emoji Movie paid ad. I'm sorry, but there's no way anybody in their right mind could endorse that steaming turd, it was a blatant grab. Yes she champions a good cause but she's still #adding and #gifting most days like the rest of them.

Unmumsy Mum is still my favourite and also mother pukka. I find them both hiliarious and really down to earth.

It must be tiring for them to constantly have their cameras/phones out to capture the ‘perfect’/ staged moment. Staring at a phone missing out on all their children’s special moments whilst they are busy writing about how difficult it is to be their parent. Parenthood is hard, we knew that way before insta mums started the whole ‘movement’ but we shouldn’t make our children feel like it’s their fault.

Fair dues. Other steaming turds I’ve enjoyed include some of the Lego films. They have saved my mind on days when everyone needs squash in unicorn cup/ nipple/ green spoon not pink spoon. But, then, I was one of the few people to want Katie Waissel to win X Factor in 2010 so maybe my taste is rickety. That’s why I don’t do fashion blogging.

You can write a witty response but the point I made was that you still blatantly did it for the £££, and that your posts are just as #ad heavy as the other instamums (hate that term) who have been called grabby on here. So yes, Flex is a good cause, but it's not really why you're on there posting every day.

Sorry, didn’t mean to deflect. But you are right, yes I want to/need to earn money. I’ve never shied away from saying that. Having never really asked for what I’m worth - in a company that ironically had ‘because you are worth it’ as the strapline - I will keep striving to earn on instagram/ a job/ wherever else I end up. What I get is you don’t like what I was promoting, which is fine and really useful feedback. I say no to a lot of projects that don’t fit and generally do the ones that are accessible (even if you don’t like the film) or funny/useful (tapping up Tena lady pads at present). But it’s not always a glory train of perfect brands alas. But to be clear - whether you like what we do or not - the flexible working campaign is not some ruse to make money or flog stuff. It’s to make things easier for our two when they are told they are, perhaps, not worth it.

I think what is pretty obvious from most of the posts here is that nobody likes the promoting.

Because insta mums aren’t always what they seem. My neighbour is one. She knows I know the truth. Very easy to fake

But advertising/ promotion has always been a part of the media. Print, TV, radio, social. It’s just seeing us doing the promoting, perhaps, which I can understand. It’s like suddenly someone you followed for the heartbreaking way they handled baby loss/ infertility/ miscarriage then try and flog a Wall’s sausage. I don’t have the answer but I’m in the middle trying to work it out because at the moment this mechanic simply means I can pick up my daughter from school at 3.15. I’m not saying this is a great option for all, it’s just a shift that’s happened and a lot of us are navigating/ trying to tackle the transparency issue. Despite what you might think I appreciate hearing the above. Off now because mum wants me to “get off that bloody phone”

At least you're honest @Badmotherpukka and not trying to have us believe that you 'only promote brands you actually believe in'. I find your approach a lot more honest and refreshing than some of the instamums and you took onboard the criticism on the previous threads about transparency.

Can I ask just one question though? Has Papa Pukka applied for flexible working because it appears (and I realise that appearances are deceptive) that a lot of the childcare seems to fall on you?

(I understand that that's a rather personal question but with regards to your flexi working campaign it's something I've pondered having followed your feed).

Many, many people work around having small children and manage not to use them to promote products on social media networks for financial gain. Many people (male and female) compromise their working lives in order to be able to be there to collect their young children from school, again, without resorting to promotion.

We know when we have kids that these compromises are to be made. And many many people successfully juggle fulfilling careers with having young children. It's bloody hard work, but it CAN work. And sometimes employers are inflexible bastards and yes, we should call them out on that.

But it's not a situation that's been foisted upon you, you could choose not to do it. It's easier to stick a photo up and pretend to love frozen roast potatoes I guess. But then it seems you have to be a white, erudite, middle class woman in order to have these wondrous promotional opportunities come your way.