Phrases/words you can't stand on MN

[cathf]

Maybe it's just me, but I'll kick off with:
Booby monster (or any kind of 'monster')
Figetbum (not seen this often, but it is so horrific I can't forget it)
Snuggly cuddles (see also milky cuddles,and sleepy cuddles or snuggles)
Newborn, used as a noun, not an adjective - as in my newborn, not my newborn baby.
I'm sure I will think of some more!

I also hate 'and I speak as a single parent/size 8/dog owner' sounds so pompous.

Yes, I'd forgotten about 'play date'. It's always wound me up, on here and in real life, especially now my kid is 9. It's not a play date, she's just coming round for tea.

Lashings

I hate 'that's a red flag from me' rather than 'He seems like a bit of tit/nutter/deadbeat' - but on mumsnet there's more bloody red flags than a Marxist-Lenninist semaphore convention.

beanz I don't know why I feel the urge to be such a pedantic twat, but if your buy Heinz that is actually how the product is spelt: Heinz Beanz

You'd hate me - No, I likely wouldn't give a shit about you. You overestimate the strength of my dislike of pink clothes and your own importance when you state I'd hate you because you have a pink dress.

Not a phrase, but this thread has moved on anyway.
I can't stand it when someone posts (usually in AIBU or Relationships) to have a good moan about their other half, and they get loads of replies telling them how fantastic the poster's other half is, how they are a team, how they respect each other, how their other half would never dream of acting like that etc etc.
I'm sure it makes the poster feel very warm and smug about their life, but not sure it's much help to the OP to have it confirmed that their life is, as they suspected, shit.

Whaboutery

Hidden disabilities and anxiety.
The get-out clauses for just about every bit of unreasonable behaviour on MN!
OP: i can't let my child out of my sight, AIBU?
Replies: Yes
OP: But I have anxiety
replies: How awful for you. Keep you child in your sight OP.

OP: My NDN is being a twat and parking over my drive
Posters: She might have a hidden disability
Other posters: Yes she might. How selfish OP.

Remember reading one about an op feeling under confident about her looks or something and people were actually posting about how good looking they themselves were cringe and triple cringe!

Apart from dd, ds, dh, dp - the abbreviations or whatever they are called get on my nerves. I have to keep googling what they all mean!

I googled PFB and actually laughed out loud. My next search will be for YY.......

Oh and I don't like sanpro. 🎗

@BoysofMelody 🤣🤣🤣

Ltb
And any reference to abuse of some sort where it isn't relative (such as DH not making a cup of tea or going on a night out)

This^
So many people tell you to LTB for the tiniest of things

I also thought Sanpro was a brand of tampons...

What does ducks in a row mean?

Ducks in a row means getting yourself well prepared for something that’s going to happen.

Cathf

Yes yes yes 💪🏼

If my husband did that I would hand him his balls on a
Plate

No you wouldn't !!!

And when people post about unequal division of labour

'Well my husband just got the kids up , cleaned the house , washed up and made lunch and you are a WEAK FOOL to settle for anything less

smug bitches

"Dh has a hobby" what are all these mysterious hobbies??

Somebody makes a claim about something and cite a statistic that seems improbable

• People ask for the souce

OP responds with 'google it'

Annoying as

A) if you make a claim, it falls to you to substantiate it

B) Google is full of unverified bollocks

"Hobbies" tend to be things like cycling (in full-on lycra)/rugby/football/fishing that kind of thing, from what I've gathered.

Pots for potatoes. It makes me want to stab my eyes.

Dippy eggs. I know this is contentious but, to me, it seems so affected.

'Boobing' - as in the OP was boobing her baby to sleep. Admittedly I have only seen this once but it made quite an impression.

SanPro

People not using continuous tenses - 'I'm sat here shaking...'. When I first started reading Mum
snet I found this utterly jarring but it is so prevalent that it now takes me a second to work out why it 'sounds' wrong.

From a gender perspective it fascinates me that all these men have 'hobbies' that seem to eat into the time as presumably they work too

I see it at work too .

You don't see women spending all weekend in their hobbies as presumably they have childcare , laundry , shopoing and cooking to do

My hobby's the Tolkien Society, we meet once a month, although I only go if it's somewhere child friendly.

The Hobby is cycling or golf. Always. Which of the two depends on how much of a twat he is being.

They dont want to out themselves by revealing the hobby what is that about ?

OP was boobing her baby to sleep

Sounds like she knocked the poor mite out. Slap slap .