Phrases/words you can't stand on MN

[cathf]

Maybe it's just me, but I'll kick off with:
Booby monster (or any kind of 'monster')
Figetbum (not seen this often, but it is so horrific I can't forget it)
Snuggly cuddles (see also milky cuddles,and sleepy cuddles or snuggles)
Newborn, used as a noun, not an adjective - as in my newborn, not my newborn baby.
I'm sure I will think of some more!

Luffs.

Not particularly here but i loathe 'touched a nerve?' Nope not at all, you are simply completely wrong and thats why im stating as much

Naice ham (because they buy Tesco finest ham over Asda value...like it makes the pink, processed mystery meat any classier)

React with a tinkly little laugh and a head tilt (Because it will definitely change that person's opinion of you if you behave slightly deranged)

Centerparcs (to show we're better than that Butlins lot)

Was I being unreasonable to.... insert a story that's of course perfectly reasonable, but you just want lots of praise because you helped an old lady and her guide dog into Tesco this afternoon)

I probably use loads of them, but one I've seen quite abit recently which I find quite weird is 'was he rubbing his crotch when he said it ?'

Used to dismiss women who say they find something a man has said a bit creepy, unsettling or somehow sexually intimidating. I hate it - it is as if women having the right to feel uncomfortable about someone just because it doesn't feel right isn;t allowed. Unless a man is making an overtly sexually aggressive gesture he can say what the hell he likes and you have to put up with it or you are a crazy.

I've seen it several times in the past week and it's confirming to me that there is a strong mysogynistic element lurking on MN.

When people refer to the dog as 'Ddog"
Why???? Why has it got to be a dear dog, or darling dog, why not just fucking dog?
I hate all this Dh, Ds, dw, dd, dmil bollocks anyway. I see it's easier to write than husband, wife, daughter, mother in law but I HATE it.

All the sanctimonious bollocks does me too, people saying they'd report this and confront that, rubbish.

Naive ham not common or garden stuff would make me vom, it's too superior for my palette.
And don't get me started on the spelling.

ooodile, on a similar note, I love the packed lunch ones, where people post what they obviously know to be very healthy packed lunches for their slim and active children (would anyone ever admit to having fat and lazy children?) and pretend to be worried that it's not healthy enough.
This is always followed by loads of posts congratulating the OP of how healthy her child's lunch is, and how varied the child's diet is.
Next bunch of posters start to rip into the OP for henious crimes such as serving apple and grapes (sugar!)
It's all a game really, isn;t it?

Naice

Also - I'm on a roll now! - the ones on the teenagers board usually, where the OP posts about their teen's messy bedroom, junk food diet, rudeness etc and someone always pipes up about their two-year-old who already the consequences to messy rooms, unhealthy eating and rudeness - and she's ONLY TWO!

cathf I absolutely love a lunchbox thread.
When they do it for the praise, and people start ripping into them about raisins.
Great stuff.

This one actually makes me laugh rather than annoy me:

Was this woman being rude?

OP tells a story of some woman doing something normal, brushing past someone accidentally but not apologising.

The replies come flooding in:

I would have said "Are you always this much of a rude cunt"?

I would have slapped her round the face!

Did you ask whether she was always an aggressive nasty bitch or just reserved for you, OP?

All of which are way ruder than anything in the OP. There was one example which had me laughing though I'm not actually still convinced it was a piss take like I thought at the time, but it was a thread about a children's party and one of the child's mothers had did something, can't remember what now, and one of the replies was the most violent, expletive-riddled things I've ever read and I just thought 'You'd do all that at a child party and you're saying that she was unreasonable!?

Oh I remembered one I don't like. When you read an OP and it's all normal but then gets slightly weird and just when you think it makes no sense at all, OP reveals themselves to be...a cat. Tee-hee.

Stealth boast

I hate things like...

That reply made me laugh so much that I woke the baby.

I literally just spat blueberries over my keypad laughing at that.

Oh yes Mission, that get my goat too!
Similar one yesterday, my baby will not be put down but my relatives are telling me I should leave her to cry.
Answer: I would tell your relative to Piss Off - really??
I think people are living a fantasy life on MN sometimes, when they are confident, striding and take no shit from anyone.
In real life, they are actually nothing like that.

I read an AIBU where the op went into great detail about the good deed she did in a very necessary circumstance and ended up with "I told a friend and she said I shouldn't have bothered. Was I being unreasonable?" Then sat back to receive lots of praise for her good deed, which is all she wanted.

Was I the only person who thought the "friend" was made up?!

Hoisting up my judgie pants
Get a grip

cathf teenager boards dealing with mess and junk and rudeness?! Hallelujah, I'm heading over there to get some sympathy!

Ugh, sanpro is a horrible word.
Also fanjo.

What does it actually mean when someone puts a biscuit picture?

Why are you not allowed to post about your teenage son's measurements?

Although TBF teenage boys are the devil according to MN. No matter what their dimensions.

Boil my piss
Making my teeth itch
Penis beaker

@whyamibored it's usually a sarcastic way of saying 'fu*k you' or 'bless you' in a 'god help you you twat' type of way. It's rarely a genuine have a biscuit gesture

OP reveals themselves to be...a cat. Tee-hee

Or worse. They’re pretending to be a baby/toddler. I actually hate those posts.