To think a single man travelling to Thailand regularly is up to no good

[Katyazamo]

My uncle (who I am not particularly close to) travels to Thailand alone several times a year. He is in his mid 50s and has lived with my grandad since divorcing his wife around 20 years ago.
It's suddenly occurred to me that he's probably up to no good :/
AIBU?

Doesn't tend to apply if you are a woman.

3 not 'free'

"Is it possible you are just very small minded? Maybe he just loves the country?'

'loves the country' yes, I'm sure he does.

I'm with you op, only one reason middle-aged men make frequent trips to Thailand and it's not the nice beaches.

If it quacks like a duck...

'I LOVE Thailand and go as often as I can. Heaven forbid someone might think I was up to no good... or does it not apply to me because I'm a woman?'

That is correct yes.

I agree with you. I used to work in a bank where this man would come in once a year to borrow and exchange money for his holiday in Thailand. He'd tell us all how slim and pretty and nice the Thai girls were, looking at us like we were fat and old when we were half his age. I used to get a very strong sense of revulsion and pity for the poor girls living in such poverty that they had to pretend to find him attractive. I had to pretend not to find him revolting too I guess. But at least I didn't have to touch him. We all shuddered when he left.

Oh drop the faux naivety

I was clearly being sarcastic

yanbu unfortunately. it's a beautiful country with lots to do and see. the food is lovely. but I don't believe that is why he's going.

Europe is expensive

Thailand is cheap, beautiful, peaceful, relaxing, hot,has great food, the people are lovely, has great access to the rest of asia.

There are plenty of reasons for going

I love Italy and if I could afford to would have several holidays a year there. We have two drawings of venice and one Italian language book so it wouldn't be blantently obvious to anyone who visited us how much I love the place.
Replace Italy with Thailand and I don't see how you can suddenly think it's suspicious.
Unless there are other issues too.

He'd tell us all how slim and pretty and nice the Thai girls were, looking at us like we were fat and old when we were half his age. I used to get a very strong sense of revulsion and pity for the poor girls living in such poverty that they had to pretend to find him attractive.

Yes and it isn't just about prostitution at all. Sex is very available because westerners (and even fat sweaty unemployed westeners on benefits) are see as a ticket out of abject poverty. Plenty of young women there live in such conditions that marrying a western man who here would be regarded as not well off is a huge step up.

Even sleeping in a clean bed with only two people in the room as opposed to 10 is life changing.

A man going to Thailand SEVERAL TIMES a year with no business connection is 100% going for sex. No one goes to the same place for a relaxing holiday SEVERAL times a year, no matter how much they like it unless (a) they have relatives living there or (b) they own a house there.

Any one saying this is an offensive conclusion is so naive its heart breaking.

I have a friend who's Dad travelled over to Asia several times a year, every year for weeks at a time (occasionally went for xmas??). He was self employed and earned a shit load of money, was breadwinner, so I guess no-one ever felt able to question him.

No-one in the family batted an eyelid or thought it was unusual but my friend did used to make jokes about having a second family over there. Her and her siblings and mum had a very good life so I suppose they decided to turn a blind eye on the possibility of any wrong doing.

It was fucking odd. The Dad died some years back and there has never been any mention as to what he got up to over in Asia.

• Asia has been used as I'm being purposefully vague. I know it's a continent.

Thailand is cheap, beautiful, peaceful, relaxing, hot,has great food, the people are lovely, has great access to the rest of asia

This.

Thailand is so cheap and so it's really accessible and easy to go back to again and again. I'd rather go to Thailand 4 times in one year than spend the same amount on one European holiday.

Mind your own business!! So what if he’s up to no good he’s a grown man and as you said you’re ‘not particularly close’

It's everybody's job to keep children safe, even, gasp Thai girls.

Me and DH visit the Netherlands two or three times a year. Should I presume that everyone thinks we're into cannabis and prostitution ? Probably

Are people being wilfully obtuse? Trust me, after the age of about 30 (i.e. after gap year/seeing the world ages) any men going for regular holidays to Thailand alone or in exclusively male groups are having sex with prostitutes. Sorry if any of your relatives or friends fall into that group but wise up.

My local Jovo used to go to Thailand every year under similar circumstances. Turned out he was just doing missionary work.

I think it's bollocks about Thai women being submissive in the main. There are cultural norms of greeting and politeness that make Thai people seem submissive to strangers who are unfamiliar with Thai culture, but in the home or workplace they are not at all submissive.
Of course anybody dependent on keeping a western man happy to secure the baht they need to support their family or score their next fix, is going to play that game if that's what they think he wants.
My daughter studied in Havana Cuba for 3 months and witnessed the phenomena of European and Canadian men hooking up with Cuban jineteras for the duration of their holidays. She heard a couple of them in a bar discussing the superiority of Cuban women to the ungrateful bitches back home, using examples such as how they were so grateful for simple gifts such toothpaste etc....
It is just so grim. The cheapie resorts near to Havana that my daughter and her mates used to go to for a bit of beach at the weekend, were full of unattractive older European or Canadian men with nubile bored looking Cuban girls. My daughter, who is fluent in Spanish, says the Cuban women are usually well-educated and have total contempt for their fat friends but the living conditions of many Cubans in the cities are far worse than many realise.

I would feel the same way. The 'naive' people here piss me off.

Yanbu I would think either deluded that he has a Thai gf or regular user if the sex trade. Which as an adult he's entitled to do.

I've been encouraging my retired Dad to have more holidays in Asia per year as his pension stretches much further. It's great for him to have things to plan and look forward to, he has had no significant relationship since my Mum left 14yrs ago... oops!

I think Thailand is an amazing country....I loved it, and the people.

But it is spoilt by all the fat, middle-aged old men (sex-tourists) out there paying to have sex with under-aged boys/girls. I really feel for the adult women too, but seeing all the under-aged girls was so sad.

Sorry but its true, I would love to go back (went over 15 years ago) but the memory of some of the things I saw breaks my heart (and I really, really was trying to avoid seeing the things I saw).

I have no idea why the situation isn't policed more, it not just British men of course, but why law-enforcement from the UK, Europe etc turn a blind eye, I have no idea?

PinkTiger

"A man going to Thailand SEVERAL TIMES a year with no business connection is 100% going for sex."

I get the feeling you don't quite understand probabilities ...

Given the number of Thai women in the uk who have limited English and are with an older man it is a pretty good assumption many men go there for certain reasons.
A friends dad did this and brought the woman back here and bought her family and child a small house in Thailand.
She then nursed him in his old age.
Lovely woman but it was no life.
The sex tourists are pretty bloody obvious there and the country has an issue with children being exploited for sex.