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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a single man travelling to Thailand regularly is up to no good

505 replies

Katyazamo · 23/09/2017 16:35

My uncle (who I am not particularly close to) travels to Thailand alone several times a year. He is in his mid 50s and has lived with my grandad since divorcing his wife around 20 years ago.
It's suddenly occurred to me that he's probably up to no good :/
AIBU?

OP posts:
itreallyiswhatitis · 23/09/2017 17:25

YANBU to suspect...whether rightly or wrongly....it would be naive for it not to cross your mind.

sharksDen · 23/09/2017 17:29

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araiwa · 23/09/2017 17:30

Depends where he is going

Pattaya is a hell hole and single men go there for one reason

megletthesecond · 23/09/2017 17:31

Yanbu.

Lethaldrizzle · 23/09/2017 17:34

Sorry for my use of colloquial english sharks den!, didnt mean to offend - slightly shocked at your need to be rude but i guess you need to express your anger somehow!

BoneyBackJefferson · 23/09/2017 17:34

brasty

Surely the main word in your sentence is if

SallyForthSunshine · 23/09/2017 17:36

There is a lot more to Thailand than prostitution, it's a beautiful country. I wouldn't jump to conclusions. If you are worried or if it's going to play on your mind and gross you out, ask if you could come along on the next trip and note his reaction. If he looks panicked or sick, then your suspicions are probably right. If he's enthusiastic about the idea, probably not!

But there is a gross old man sex tourist demographic for Thailand. You see them on the plane but like someone else said, you don't tend to see them at the tourist spots...

BringMeTea · 23/09/2017 17:38

Having lived there and seen it all up close and personal, YADNBU. Sex tourist.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 23/09/2017 17:39

Would you think the same of your aunt? I suspect not

What a stupid question.

I think it is my business if a man is going to a poor country to use prostituted woman and/or girls. I would certainly keep my DCs away from anyone who thinks this is acceptable

It may even be the police's business too.

MissBabbs · 23/09/2017 17:40

Is it gross that older single men go for sex with Thai women? I don't know, maybe it's a handy way to form a relationship without too many ties.
It could be sleazy and illegal in the UK but on the other had it could be a way for him to find friendship and, most likely, sex.

LightDrizzle · 23/09/2017 17:40

YANBU.
As others have said, it is different if he is an intrepid traveller in general with a passion for SE Asian food, culture or Buddhism or something. In the absence of such interests I would share your suspicions. I know of a couple of groups of middle-aged married men who go to Thailand on "golfing" holidays once a year. I'm sure they do play some golf but Sad

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/09/2017 17:40

I don't think YABU at all. As someone else said, sex is a massive business in Thailand.

I first went to Thailand in the 70s and even then was sickened by the sight of hideous fat old Western men going around with tiny little girls who didn't look more than 13.
And any time Dh went out of the hotel without me - even for a few minutes - he would immediately be propositioned.

TwentyBandits · 23/09/2017 17:41

I'm confused. You seem to be saying that he's not in a relationship so what "no good" would he be doing? He might have met someone there sure but why would that be a bad thing?

lovemylover · 23/09/2017 17:42

I know someone who has been married to 2 different Thai women, they are very submissive, and the poorer ones will do anything to get money out of men. [not all of them of course] and there usual comments are "love you long time"ask any man who will admit why he goes there
I would be very suspicious of any single man who goes to Thailand alone,
I have heard stories,

Pengggwn · 23/09/2017 17:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Katyazamo · 23/09/2017 17:42

Sharksden - he doesn't see his lovely and inquisitive niece often enough to need a break. I see your point though I've never been so I couldn't say if the scenery and beaches are amazing enough to see several times a year with no other motive... but I don't think I'm being unreasonable to think it's a possibility.

No he doesn't take part in any sports I'm aware of.

I have known him to have several short term girlfriends so doubt it's a girlfriend he is visiting to see.

OP posts:
araiwa · 23/09/2017 17:43

Some people go to spain everytime they go abroad because they like the culture, people, food or are learning the language. Maybe he just likes thai food (because its great), the people are lovely and its a gorgeous country

Or hes paying people to have sex with him and probably drinking his own bodyweight in Leo

Mrsmadevans · 23/09/2017 17:44

I think you are right in your suspicions

Littlelondoner · 23/09/2017 17:45

Is he spiritual? Thinking outside the box here......

iloveredwine · 23/09/2017 17:45

my husband was propositioned while I was with him! I have seen how old men were walking hand in hand with young girls and boys. it was horrible and I would never go back to Thailand or Vietnam

MeganBacon · 23/09/2017 17:45

YADNBU. Unfortunately.

TheCatsMother99 · 23/09/2017 17:46

I LOVE Thailand and go as often as I can. Heaven forbid someone might think I was up to no good... or does it not apply to me because I'm a woman?

Lovemusic33 · 23/09/2017 17:47

I go to Cornwall 2 or free times a year, doesn't mean I'm going to binge on pasties Grin

Maybe he likes the culture and scenery?

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 23/09/2017 17:47

I LOVE Thailand and go as often as I can. Heaven forbid someone might think I was up to no good... or does it not apply to me because I'm a woman?

Oh drop the faux naivety.

AcrossthePond55 · 23/09/2017 17:48

I'd be a bit Hmm. I may be generalizing (and I'm basing on an old boyfriend who loved Spanish culture), but when someone 'loves' a particular culture and visits the country often, you usually see signs of it. A great number of books perhaps? Cookery skills or knowledge of local restaurants who serve authentic cuisine? Learning to speak the language? Artifacts such as local art or art prints, pottery, textiles and such? A knowledge of a country's history?

Does your uncle have any of these things?