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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a single man travelling to Thailand regularly is up to no good

505 replies

Katyazamo · 23/09/2017 16:35

My uncle (who I am not particularly close to) travels to Thailand alone several times a year. He is in his mid 50s and has lived with my grandad since divorcing his wife around 20 years ago.
It's suddenly occurred to me that he's probably up to no good :/
AIBU?

OP posts:
DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 26/09/2017 16:41

No, but the age of consent differs from place to place.
Thank goodness, otherwise old men wouldn't be able to fuck children.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 16:48

Oh come on. It's sixteen here, seventeen in much of America. I hope Americans don't think we are allowing men to fuck children because of that.

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 26/09/2017 16:52

No Andrew but the concerns raised here about sex tourism are not an issue of differing ages of consent. We're not talking about teenagers having sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends but about actual grown adult men travelling to countries such as Thailand in order to have sex with particularly young or prostituted women and girls. So the "Some countries have different ages of consent" doesn't impress me in that context.

pinkingshears · 26/09/2017 17:29

My Uncle is a sex offender.
He goes to Thailand regularly.
My family who are in denial, insist it is to help at the Zoo.
It isn't for the Zoo Sad

pinkingshears · 26/09/2017 17:35

Is there anyone here who has knowledge of UK / International Policing?

If I approached the UK Police with my conerns, would they DO anything?

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 17:51

No pinkingshears because Thailand is not on the patch of any UK Police force.

whirlyswirly · 26/09/2017 17:56

Pinking, Dp met a man last week who helps out at the zoo in Thailand each summer, or was it an elephant sanctuary. I was also Hmm

TheDowagerCuntess · 26/09/2017 18:30

Different nations' police forces share intelligence.

Besides, Interpol?

DontCallMeCharlotte · 26/09/2017 18:32

A man I know of has Parkinson's and goes regularly to a clinic there for treatment. Not for anything untoward.

IfNot · 26/09/2017 18:32

They must do, for certain types of crimes.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 18:36

"Must" does not mean that it happens, does it? If Mr X goes to Thailand - or any other country - and does things which are not illegal there or which are but nobody does anything about it - what can any British police force do?

TheDowagerCuntess · 26/09/2017 18:39

Andrew - if you're concerned that men are going to get caught, you needn't be.

They're getting away with in droves.

I'm sure the most insidious types are on some sort of database, but we'd probably be talking about the most violent, most depraved, etc.

Your bog standard, garden variety prostitute user and abuser is most likely free to come and go, as long as he keeps his head down.

Fear not.

balsamicbarbara · 26/09/2017 18:40

British police have traveled out to places like Thailand to help in cases against those indulging in these activities. Plus any reports helps their intelligence which they share with Thai police. If you report these men then if Thai police get suspicions it could help save children.

ForalltheSaints · 26/09/2017 18:42

It would certainly cross my mind as a possibility that he is visiting for sexual activities, though the age would not be my first thought. Which may be wide of the mark, but I can understand why the OP thinks as they do.

brasty · 26/09/2017 18:46

The very worst offenders will be caught by our police. There was a documentary made about a British man travelling around Malaysia and Cambodia, who abused hundreds of children. The police targeted him and he is now in jail. He abused babies and children up to 13 years of age.
Our police do not have the resources to go after every British man who do this.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 18:48

Dowager I am not quite sure whether you meant that personally: but I have never been to Thailand and never bought sexual services in any country on the planet. I don't fear that men who do will be caught. I just think it highly unlikely that many will,

pinkingshears · 26/09/2017 18:50

balsamicbarbara

Do you know of any cases in particular?
It is to be hoped they do.
it's just, Police interest/conviction is SO POOR in the UK I was worried it might be pointless to Report / that the UK might 'look the other way' for diplomatic relations sakes etc.

I am sure that Thailand is a very beautiful country with a rich heritage and that their Govt doesn't want it to be associated with child prostitution and abuse Sad

pinkingshears · 26/09/2017 18:59

X post brasty
I think I know the case? was it the youngish man who was posing as some sort of Christian religious worker? it was especially vile, if so.

brasty · 26/09/2017 19:00

Yes it was. Can't remember his name, but unfortunately the documentary showed just how easy it was for him to do this.

pinkingshears · 26/09/2017 19:03

Andrewofgg
I would expect the UK Police, having evidence of sexual offences against a minor in the UK, to at least listen if that person approaches them and says they have concerns about his frequent trips to Thailand. They could at least pass that info on to the Thai Police Force.
I am sure there is corruption in Thailand like anywhere but I am also sure that the Govt, Tourist Board, and ordinary citizens would like their country known for its culture, religions, geography, history, food, people etc. rather than as a sex tourist destination?

juneau · 26/09/2017 19:05

I think if you want to report someone to the police you'd have to have some evidence or serious grounds for your suspicions. And no, the British police don't have the resources to follow up every rumour.

I was watching that BBC3 doc today about Richard Huckle, the British paedophile who abused hundreds of DC in Asia. It made my skin crawl. But it was the Aussie police who infiltrated the dark web and found all his terrible photos and boasts about child sex and they passed the info onto the British police. They could only grab him though when he came back to Britain.

As for the OP, I'd probably be suspicious too. Unless he has form for child molestation though (which I'm guessing would've come to light by now), then it's likely to be prostitutes.

TheDowagerCuntess · 26/09/2017 19:47

I have no idea what your pastimes are Andrew, you just seem keen for us to acknowledge that there's virtually nothing to be done.

Does it feel good to be right about something like that?

BanyanTree · 26/09/2017 20:00

I lived in Asia for a long time and was a frequent visitor to Thailand. I also know a few men who were fleeced by their Thai "girlfriends". Many of them are encouraged by their family to find themselves a white Sugar Daddy and get them to pay for a house (which the foreigner cannot own, only the Thai wife) and other expenses. The man comes back here, works his arse off to send money over and then visits a few times a year. A few of the guys I know caught out his girlfriend/ fiancee or wife by turning up unannounced and finding her true Thai love living there in-between visits.

Not all Thai/ Western relationships are like this of course but the above does happen a lot. The white guy thinks he has won the lottery but it can go very horribly wrong.

TheDowagerCuntess · 26/09/2017 20:02

Or right, depending on your perspective!

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2017 21:34

I would expect the UK Police, having evidence of sexual offences against a minor in the UK, to at least listen if that person approaches them and says they have concerns about his frequent trips to Thailand. They could at least pass that info on to the Thai Police Force.

I agree. But that goes a lot further than the mere fact that Mr X makes frequent trips to Thailand, doesn't it?

Dowager I wish what can be done to be done but beyond that I don't see what there is to be done. Would you like to tell us what should be done about Mr X who makes frequent trips to Thailand but against whom nothing has ever been alleged in the UK?