Neighbour Vs Nurse. Who was wrong?

[SlimedShit]

My elderly neighbour is upset as she's just had a run in with her nurse. The nurse visits her every night to give insulin. Tonight neighbour says that when nurse arrived, she stunk of garlic. She said "have you been eating garlic?" Nurse replies "yes, can you smell?"

Following exchange ...

Neighbour "yes it stinks"
Nurse "laughs" "that's the problem with garlic I suppose"
Neighbour "it's a horrible smell, it's making me feel sick"
Nurse "really? Nobody else has mentioned it"
Neinighbour "yes well they're too polite. It really does stink"
Nurse "ok, are you ready for your insulin?"
Neighbour "you should think about your patients before eating stuff like that"
Nurse "I disagree. The majority of nurses go above and beyond to please their patients and if we started getting told what we could and couldn't eat I'd leave to be honest."
Neighbour "I don't think it's a lot to ask that you respect your patients and not make them feel sick"
Nurse "I feel that dictating what a person can and cannot eat is a huge ask personally. I certainly wouldn't change my eating habits to please someone else"

The visit ended and nurse left. Neighbour is now in tears at the way she was spoken to. I feel for her but also think she was out of order!! She basically told this poor woman that she smelt horrible. I told neighbour I could see both sides but the nurse should have been more professional and not do narky. Neighbour is now upset with me! AIBU to think she caused this by being rude?

The complete lack of gratitude and public attitudes that they 'own' you

There are always OTT posts on any threads about nurses and teachers.

The vast majority of patients are reasonable and grateful
There are many many jobs that are just as hard but get far less respect.

Amazing that your neighbour was able to remember the whole conversation so clearly. It reads like a script.

The nurse wasn't rude , the neighbour was . I work in the same role , I might have handled it slightly differently ( previous job in customer services ) , but I have noticed that clients of a certain era do see a nurses role as more subservient than people from a later era .

On the nurses side here.

I expect nurses get such comments/abuse on a daily basis. Its sad really.

Look, I remember a community care worker coming on an advice forum because one of the service users smoked in her presence. She had to spend at least 2 hours per day with this SU and was worried about passive smoking. Also other SU complained that the nurse stunk of cigarettes. Her boss told her in not so many words to suck it up as you couldn't dictate to a SU as to what they did in their own home.

So a nurse can't eat garlic but patients can smoke. If she went in smelling of BO that would be different of course. But garlic, for goodness sake. What would the neighbour say to a nurse who came from a culture who ate a lot of currys? Can you images the backlash and rightly so.

I don't think the nurse was rude. She was factual and wasn't apologetic (and had no need to be). Neighbour was rude and perceives the nurse to be rude because the nurse didn't grovel and say sorry for smelling of garlic.

Is this really the OP. She seems to have a detailed an verbatim account of a conversation she ostensibly didn't hear.
Either way the patient was rude.

So is the nurse allowed to comment that a neighbours house was stinky, not clean, refuse to come in because she had cooked fish etc

Personally I think the neighbour was bang out of order. She insulted the nurse then had a go at the Op, she knows she was wrong and is now deflecting the blame away from herself.

Lozen service users are not allowed to actively smoke whilst the nurse is in their home on my patch , and offering a nurse a fag whilst you light up is very generous, but also very much frowned upon

Were you there, OP? Or are you, in fact, the nurse?

Neighbour was rude, yes. The nurse handled it quite well.

Your neighbour was completely out of order, I can't see the nurse did anything wrong at all. Feel sorry for the nurse actually!

I eat garlic pretty much every day. I have no idea if I smell of garlic, I,m immune to the smell by now I reckon! I'm a front line HCP, never been told I smell of garlic......but as long as I shower/clean uniform/brush my teeth every day I'm not going to do anything else. Certainly won't stop having my normal evening meals.

The nurse wasn't rude. The elderly lady probably has dementia.

TheFirstMrsDV yes, I was a bit melodramatic there. Lots of patients and relatives are grateful as you say. I'd say a large minority are not though and the abuse you get is often much worse than this example. I can absolutely say that among HCPs it is one of the reasons for leaving the job, even if not the main one.

Absolutely there are other difficult jobs with less respect but that is also unacceptable. It would be nice if we could treat everyone trying to do a job as a human being. It shouldn't be a race to the bottom (IMO anyway).

Gosh you and the neighbour just have photographic memories.

When I was a district nurse back in the day, we had our rude abs aggressive patients.

We also had normal nice lovejy patients and age wasn't a factor.

The neighbour was rude and offensive. If she had been my patient I would have acted just the same way and probably swapped her next day with another DN.

She sounds a nasty rude woman.

I think neighbour was rude and nurse handled it well. No one deserves to have that kind of rudeness as part of their work.

The bit about being grateful for free treatment and the NHS may be correct, but it might be off the mark. The neighbour may be paying directly from her own savings for care as doing injections (unless she has other medical needs) might not be classed as sufficient for nursing care under the NHS. (I'm not saying that paying privately is any excuse for her rudeness.)

Your neighbour was incredibly rude. Nurse is entitled to eat what she likes. She's around people all the time and as the smell of garlic can linger does your neighbour honestly expect her to never eat garlic again in case a patient doesn't like it? Neighbour needs to get over it and learn some manners.

Yes, your neighbour was very rude and the nurse very calm under the circumstances.

Yes the nurse's side of the conversation read incredibly calm... I almost wonder if the OP is the nurse.

What should the elderly lady have dementure? Ste has diabetes! No mention of dementure and most elderly people don't you knows

Your neighbour is very rude. The nurse handled it very well.

Neighbour was likely grumpy/rude in the way she brought it up, but I bet she got a whole lot more grumpy/rude when her point was brushed off.

Smelling of garlic or BO or smoke when visiting clients is a clear NoNo. If it was an accidentally garlicky meal then explain and apologize, clearly the nurse gave the impression that she didn't care or think she was doing anything wrong, and the client could lump it.

Ask any professional in a line of work where getting paid relies on clients being happy to be physically near you and they will be careful what they smell like when on duty.

How do you know how the dialogue went? Is that how it went, word for word?

I'm always a bit wary of this kind of reenactments.

Garlic does stink and medical professionals are trained not to use strong smelling substances, so I think the nurse was unprofessional and the neighbour was very direct.

Why would the person automatically have dementia?

How entitled can a person get? Not only is she getting visits from a qualified (I.e. Not cheap)education professional daily for a completely unnecessary reason (since when can't diabetics be trusted to do their own insulin?) but she also has the cheek to expect said professional to not eat a perfectly common food just because she doesn't like the smell? I am amazed by her nirse's self restraint.

Be a nurse they said. Have no pay increase for over a decade, no breaks, cover short staffedness constantly and be a threat of litigations and complaints and also not be able to eat what you want so as not to offend anyone. It will be fun they said
(Nurse for a decade so feel like I CAN comment on this issue)