To think dd is too young to decide to change gender?

[CosyLulu]

Dd is nearly 15 and for the last 18 months has slowly turned her back on everything 'girly', not that she was ever girly really. She is very drawn to transgender girls who have become boys and does not relate to any female role models at all. She doesn't wear make up and she's been struggling socially for some time as well as being depressed and isolated.

She feels that changing her gender will change everything. I feel that she's too young to make that decision although I will fully support her if that's the decision she eventually makes. I have no issue with transgender people or sexuality at all. What I'm concerned about is that she is at the mercy of so many hormones right now that I don't think she can make a sensible choice.

AIBU though? Will I regret this? Will she hate me for stopping her to begin a process that she firmly believes is the right one for her?

Has anyone been through this with advice to share?

As I understand it, children in England aren't prescribed hormones under the age of 16. I guess Lupton or whatever the blocker is could be earlier. So if there is a child out there taking the drugs from 14, they are not almost finished, they haven't really started.

Yes the NHS has GICs but only one for children, and the figures I found are 1400 referrals a year of whom around 40 a year start hormones. Tiny, tiny numbers.

I personally think the 'never liked pink' stuff is quite often a way of expressing something different. Gender dysphoria is stranger than that. I have seen the overlap with asd at times. I think it is a comment on our society that individuals are required to conform with so much crap that is inessential and irrelevant.

Lupron not Lupton

OP there are some good Youtube videos of young people who have begun to transition and have then detransitioned. Have a look through Youtube videos with detransitioning in the title. Find some suitable ones for your child to watch, lots of them give why their stories of why they transitioned (or began to) and why they decided that actually that option was not the best one for them having now explored different areas. I find their experiences very enlightening. I'm not saying for her to watch them to disuade her as such but rather just give her a wider viewpoint.

NYConcreteJungle - It's okay, just didn't want OP to feel that her DD would be like some of the transactivists as obviously not all trans people support their viewpoint at all. It was something that was probably worth mentioning though because it is a world she could get sucked into at some point and teens can be very impressionable.

You can't vote untill you're 18 but they will pump drugs into vulnerable kids so that they can make a life changing decision like this.

I can't wrap my head around that and I've no doubt that there will be serious consequences for this nonsense in the future.

So if there is a child out there taking the drugs from 14, they are not almost finished, they haven't really started.

Unless of course, this child has been referred to the likes of mermaids, who will encourage parents to buy off label hormones and such if the child is too young to get them prescribed...

Who are Mermaids? Googled them and they seem dodgy. Do the NHS really refer to them?

What a mess.

So if there is a child out there taking the drugs from 14, they are not almost finished, they haven't really started.

Except if they had a Skype Gp appointment with that GP. We give 12 year olds this shit now. I believe this GP is a gender expert, how you can be a medical expert in social constructs I don't know. I'd love to see all the peer reviewed evidence that was on that training course. But, she makes money with private prescriptions, so you know!

It's more likely that the child referred to does not live in the UK as at 16 they would not be 'waiting for surgery' as it won't be considered until they are at least 18. In the States however toddlers are being labelled trans with social transition encouraged, puberty blocking drugs given just as puberty starts (so as young as 9), with cross hormones and mastectomies in early teens and more serious surgery shortly after. Why the insurance companies are paying for any of this is a bit of a mystery as the evidence base is very weak, most of the drugs are off label and the costs are high.

Not sure if anyone has posted this but we could all give the NHS our opinions here:

www.transgendertrend.com/nhs-public-consultation/

Kids are immersed in such a toxic gendered environment now that their perceived choices are 'girly' girl or 'manly' boy.
If you assume that all female bodies are 'supposed' to be accompanied by a bunch of stereotypes that you hate, what do you do?

You throw the baby out with the bathwater.
or
You throw your sex away with the stereotypes.

Kids need to hear that the option is there for them to throw away the stereotypes ONLY. Their bodies, their identities, their sex, can and should remain unaffected. Chuck away the expectations that people with female bodies are supposed to act a certain way.

There are thousands of teenage girls going through this. They need to take a look at themselves and realise that THEY are the evidence that gender is nonsense, and sex is real. They are females, who reject stereotypes. They are the very proof that there is no link between the sex of your body and the state of your personality. There never was, and they are the proof.

Excellent post BarrackerBarmer.

YANBU

So much gender neutral/fluid non sense confusing the young these days.

Strange isn't it - anyone at 16 could move to Scotland and legally make a decision to get married - but not about their own gender.

I had forgotten for a moment how narrow minded this forum can be.

I've seen some comments from you I thought were pretty stupid, but this one is a prizewinner. These things are not remotely comparable, in any way, and that you even think they are...

And this forum is not narrow minded. We just won't all go along with the current tide of transfascism.
And yes, giving hormones or even puberty blockers to a 14 year old is child abuse.

There are thousands of teenage girls going through this. They need to take a look at themselves and realise that THEY are the evidence that gender is nonsense, and sex is real. They are females, who reject stereotypes. They are the very proof that there is no link between the sex of your body and the state of your personality. There never was, and they are the proof.

This is brilliant.

Lack of critical thinking, or even common sense, of the transgenda agenda is unbelievable....Makes me so upset for the young people of today......as if they don't have enough to deal with when they are growing up.

That video of the boy who has taken puberty blockers and HRT and now is having surgery to have his breasts removed shows how completely and utterly fucked up it is to give any kind of drugs with long-lasting effects to children.

Your brain doesn't even fully mature until the age of 25.

This 'movement' will come back and bite society in the backside in years to come I'm sure......with all sorts of mental health issues.

OP, I have a child who is going through this right now, at exactly the same age. We have been referred to the gender clinic, and have been attending sessions there for nearly a year now.

On the NHS, there is no access to drugs or surgery until the psychologists feel they can 'diagnose' the gender identity question with confidence. Even after a year, we are no way near that diagnosis - ergo no magic access to drugs.

I would encourage you to go to the GP and ask for a referral. Your assigned psychologists have oceans of experience and are all about the informed decisions. They will initially offer you four appointments, and will decide after that if you proceed with more. Do it. If nothing else, your dc feels 'heard', which is very important at this age.

Please feel free to pm me if you would like

It's more likely that the child referred to does not live in the UK as at 16 they would not be 'waiting for surgery' as it won't be considered until they are at least 18. In the States however toddlers are being labelled trans with social transition encouraged, puberty blocking drugs given just as puberty starts (so as young as 9), with cross hormones and mastectomies in early teens and more serious surgery shortly after

Yes, in the US documentary I referenced upthread the child who was 'finally accepted' by her parents as trans at 3 was having hormone injections during the camp - she was 11 They may have been just blockers rather than hormones (but they were incredibly expensive and bought privately so quite likely full hormone treatment I'd have thought.) but either way, pretty frightening.

BFF's DD, aged 16, identifies as non-binary. She says she won't be 'typed' into a gender identity at this point. She is allowed to dress/cut her hair as she wishes but has not picked a male name to use on the days she identifies as male. She has a (male at birth) boyfriend who also identifies as non-binary. Both sets of parents have a 'hands off' policy. They have told them that they will not authorize hormones or surgery, but that at 18 they will fully support them if they wish to physically transition

It's a difficult situation for any parent and, ultimately at 18, they can do what they want. But I'd be very wary of being as hands-off as this about physical transition. Remember that transition means lifelong infertility and dependence on hormones which have dangerous side-effects. How many people who are now delighted to be parents didn't want kids when they were 18? Loads, I am sure. And no 18 year old ever believes she is going to die/come to harm, so won't take the risk of hormone side-effects seriously.

I think the real support should be about self esteem and helping them to become comfortable in their own skin, not hormones and surgery.

When I was younger I didn't like girly stuff (was never into pink), liked 'boys toys' - He-Man, Transformers - then in my teens didn't wear make up and listened to music that only the boys tended to like.

I'm definitely a woman though.

Can't help but think if I'd been born in 2007 rather than 1977 some people would think I must be trans rather than someone who liked what they liked and didn't ghive a shit what her peers thought of that.

In Australia nothing would move forward until the depression and/or anxiety had resolved.

It's a good point re brain maturity - and there is evidence that for people with an asd, significant developmental change goes on well into adulthood, much later in life than the NT norm.
None of these factors seem to be accounted for within the pro trans agenda.