AIBU to be really offended by this woman?

[buntingandstarcharts]

I am a teacher in an 'Outstanding' primary school (state). I am an experienced teacher (8 years teaching across Year 1, 2 and 3).

I am extremely conscientious, I take my job very seriously and I get excellent results, I have been graded as outstanding myself (I am very proud of this and it is relevant). My classes always achieve at least 2 levels of progress and if any children are falling behind, I ensure I create intervention groups in my lunchtime to support them, as well as send homework and notes to parents. I arrive to work at 7 am, work through my lunch break and then leave school at 7pm everyday. I spent the summer holidays setting up my new classroom and I spend my Easter holidays writing comprehensive and detailed reports for the 30 children in my class. I can tell you single-handedly about every child's Maths, Reading and Writing level, as well as about their home-life. I spend every minute planning, marking, meeting parents, creating resources, being observed, preparing lessons - the pressure to be an amazing teacher is unreal!

Today, one of the parents (who also works in the school) has 'reported' to me that one of the other mums of a child in my class thinks the lessons are useless, that I am a lazy teacher and that I don't challenge the higher ability children! She said that private schools are so much better and that we, at our school just repeat the work from Reception upwards. AIBU to think that she has no right to say this? I am deeply offended by these comments and am concerned that she is passing this around the other parents, you know how gossip spreads! I take these comments very personally, of course I spend hours ensuring every element of the national curriculum objectives are covered! Should I meet with said parent to discuss? Or tell senior management? Or just ignore? I have only ever had excellent feedback from the parents and so this is deeply upsetting, I also feel FURIOUS. Not only that, but her child is not a higher achieving child and she does not require extra extension activities!

AIBU to have had enough of teacher bashing? I love my job, so please don't just say that I should just change jobs. Just wish there was a bit of genuine understanding and love for teachers who care so much for children! (I have not mentioned low pay - that does not come into it!)

It doesn't matter what profession you do or what business you run - there will always be someone who complains... consider the comment objectively- is there any truth in it? If so, act. If not, then consider whether this is something you need to act on or ignore. My sense is the latter if it's second hand gossip but nothing wrong with gently confronting the parent to ask whether she has any concerns and then dealing with them fairly but firmly

All of the tracking systems use their own measures and so it is perfectly feasible that the one that the OPs school uses has a 2 level progress measure even when using the 'new' NC. A level could mean anything in this context.

You are good at what you do.
Your excellence has been recognised by others.
Your results speak for themselves.
Remember the totally liberating mantra 'Other people's opinion of you is none of your business'.
Unless the Head or a senior teacher brings this up with you just ignore it completely and carry on doing what you do - well.

Some people just have a bee in their bonnet about private schools being better and this is a case in point.

I agree with those who say it wasn't very nice of this woman to tell you about the mum. I would maybe ask her why she felt the need to tell you!

I also second the person who said you get shit in any job . You should try working in retail. The pay is even lower (teaching is pretty decent in comparison ) and you get none of the respect or status from having a profession.

I've taught for 20 odd years, and I'm bloody good at it. .

I'd have rolled my eyes, said, 'Twat!' and then thought no more about it. There are always some parents who think you're shit. They know nothing.

Don't sweat it.

Either the teacher made it up as she is jealous of how outstanding you are as a teacher...
or
The parent is trying to make out her child is so much better and her way of saying this is by blaming you for holding her back. Either she believes this or it's her way of boasting without results to back it up.

As it's a one off, I would be inclined to ignore it and carry on with the top work. As others have said, don't burn out!

teacher bashing? try being a farmer. feeding people and simultaneously being told you're evil personified; you don't do X Y and Z, you always do this that and the other (usually entirely untrue).

it would be completey unprofessional of you to address it on hearsay.

^This

I understand that you feel you have independent proof of your excellence as a teacher but a little humility doesn't go amiss. No teacher gets it right with every pupil. And reflecting on feedback whatever its origin isn't a bad thing.

For some reason we don't see children as individuals with personalities that can clash with a teacher. My ds was very challenging to teachers as he didn't understand the concept of respect for their position and/or their authority. He thought he could negotiate every instruction and demanded explanations for everything. It was very wearing and some "excellent" teachers handled it better than others. He was later diagnosed with autism and dyslexia but these conditions had been masked by his assertiveness and intelligence. He was an annoyingly articulate 4-year old. I found some teachers willing to adapt to his extra needs whilst others insisted that "this had always worked" with other "normal" children.

Bear in mind that all that hard work and extra hours you work may result in a "burning martyr" feeling that no one can criticise you without it being unfair. No one is perfect. Just remember that you are doing your best and you will sometimes get things wrong.

You are obviously a very intelligent lady why are you letting this one person make you doubt yourself.

You should be proud of your results. I would be thrilled if you were a teacher at my gs's school. At my gs's former primary school, I felt that some of the staff were letting the children down. And before there is an outcry, we stuck it out as a family and then moved as a last resort.

I had no rows and remain on friendly terms with the Headteacher - whose problem was that as nice a person as she was, you cannot be everyone's "mate" when you are a head. Also borne out by the dreadful Ofsted after we had gone which mirrored the issues I had raised with her. Sometimes teachers do think parents are moaners and yes, sometimes that is correct, but other times they really do have a point.

I will be attending my other gs's secondary school tonight where I will be told of the school's expectations of the pupils. As a grandparent carer, I have high expectations of the staff and sometimes we are both disappointed.

I don't think you should be working twelve hour days at the school. No-one would want you to do this and you sound like you are driving yourself so hard that you have become overly sensitive and defensive in the face of this parents' comment. It was also unkind of the staff member who told you. You simply cannot please all of the people all of the time. Its not as if everyone is complaining and children are leaving the school in droves, is it?

I think you need to forget this. Parents Evening should be interesting. See what she has to say for herself then - at least you are prepared. I bet she says nothing.

That parent who works at the school who told you that, how did she hear it? Why did that parent feel confident enough to tell her that if she knew that she was a colleague of yours?
A similar situation happened to one of my friends, where she said something quite innocuous about her daughter's teacher to another mum who worked at the school. This woman completely twisted what my friend said and caused quite bad feelings towards my friend from the teacher for a while until they actually spoke about it themselves. The woman who worked at the school was a nasty piece of work. In fact my friend completely ignores her now. Maybe you should approach this mother yourself and diplomatically ask her directly if she has any issues with you.

Ignore ignore ignore! Your results speak for themselves. It's not possible to put in as much work as you do and be a crap teacher!

Most parents are able to see through people like this gossiping woman so dont think everybody blindly believes everything she says. As a parent, even if we are not in school, we can normally identify the teachers who go that extra mile and are really dedicated to their job like you are, it will clearly be reflected in the children. It sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder. Sorry if someone has already asked, but are you in an 11+ area?