AIBU to be really offended by this woman?

[buntingandstarcharts]

I am a teacher in an 'Outstanding' primary school (state). I am an experienced teacher (8 years teaching across Year 1, 2 and 3).

I am extremely conscientious, I take my job very seriously and I get excellent results, I have been graded as outstanding myself (I am very proud of this and it is relevant). My classes always achieve at least 2 levels of progress and if any children are falling behind, I ensure I create intervention groups in my lunchtime to support them, as well as send homework and notes to parents. I arrive to work at 7 am, work through my lunch break and then leave school at 7pm everyday. I spent the summer holidays setting up my new classroom and I spend my Easter holidays writing comprehensive and detailed reports for the 30 children in my class. I can tell you single-handedly about every child's Maths, Reading and Writing level, as well as about their home-life. I spend every minute planning, marking, meeting parents, creating resources, being observed, preparing lessons - the pressure to be an amazing teacher is unreal!

Today, one of the parents (who also works in the school) has 'reported' to me that one of the other mums of a child in my class thinks the lessons are useless, that I am a lazy teacher and that I don't challenge the higher ability children! She said that private schools are so much better and that we, at our school just repeat the work from Reception upwards. AIBU to think that she has no right to say this? I am deeply offended by these comments and am concerned that she is passing this around the other parents, you know how gossip spreads! I take these comments very personally, of course I spend hours ensuring every element of the national curriculum objectives are covered! Should I meet with said parent to discuss? Or tell senior management? Or just ignore? I have only ever had excellent feedback from the parents and so this is deeply upsetting, I also feel FURIOUS. Not only that, but her child is not a higher achieving child and she does not require extra extension activities!

AIBU to have had enough of teacher bashing? I love my job, so please don't just say that I should just change jobs. Just wish there was a bit of genuine understanding and love for teachers who care so much for children! (I have not mentioned low pay - that does not come into it!)

Everyone gets critised at work. It helps to imagine the home life of the poor kids who live with such negative unpleasant parents, you have dealt with one scathing comment, the child will hear it all day every day. I was assaulted 6 times by parents in one academic year before I left teaching. 😔

Come on, it's one person. If someone started banging on about private school being better than my child's I would roll my eyes. We all have our own opinion of the school we use. My sons is bloody brilliant and very little would change my mind. Have a bit of faith in yourself.

However this person who 'reported' it back to you sounds like she may be a smite jealous. That's the one you need to keep an eye on imo.

I would take the time to speak to the woman who kindly passed on this snippet of gossip and show her what you do for HER child, the work that you put in for her own individual child. All the reports, assessments, etc.

And possibly at the end of it just say that you hope that's an end to the gossip and that if Mrs whatever has an issue, she should come and see you directly.

I agree with PPs, it sounds like she is embarrassed about her child's abilities and wants someone to blame it on, or is in denial about it. You sound like you're doing a great job!

As a teacher I think YABU to spend any of your holiday time in the school building 'preparing' your classroom.

Yes I am also not impressed by the parent who also works at the school passing on gossip. It could also go both ways

"You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all the people all of the time".

Turn this around into something useful. Part of been a successful teacher is being able to deal with this sort of thing both personally and professionally - use it as part of your CPD... a weakness you have to learn to overcome.

AIBU to think that she has no right to say this

It's an opinion. She has every right to have/express it. It's not slander.

If you come off anywhere as near as intense in real life as you do on here, I imagine she's just trolling you.

I think as a teacher you need the hide of a rhino. You've been teaching for 8 years, I'm sure you've heard far worse than this.

Ignore.

Why do people care about the views of people they neither like nor respect?

Can't stand gossips but equally don't like it when teachers interfere I can tell you single-handedly about every child's... home-life. in peoples home lives either even if they think it's their business

Just ignore. There will always be parents that complain at sone point. If she had serious issues with you she would have complained to the school. I was a teacher doing the hours you describe. When I had children I gave up. People dont appreciate the work that goes in. I always show alot of grattitude to my eldests teachers which they appreciate but thats because I have done the job and know exactly the amount of work that goes into it and the stress they are under. Its not a popularity contest and you have heard second hand. Just try and forget about it secure in knowledge you are doing your job well

Well, if it is true from the parent, then she can bloody well move her kid to private school and pay instead of whinging to another teacher.

Ignore this.
If you weren't such a committed and consciencious teacher this wouldn't have bothered you so much.
Unfortunately teacher-bashing still seems to be a popular past time in this country (Not a teacher FTR)

Can I say something that I don't think you're going to like?

You sound a bit smug in your OP and perhaps that you're above criticism. You spend 12 hours a day in a classroom and live and breathe teaching - do you do much outwith the classroom?

In relation to this woman, I'd say nothing but treat her with caution.

God, ignore! And think about working on developing a thicker skin.

We can't please everyone all the time, no matter how hard we work. And you don't know if the rumours are even true, the other parent may have been spreading gossip or embellishing on a fairly harmless comment.

Water off a duck's back and all that.

You will have burnt out before you've done twenty years and be on the Staffroom here asking for alternative careers. Why do you think 12 hour days (60 a week) plus few holidays are a sustainable way to carry on a career?
You are also the reason management expect everyone to be able to achieve this level of work - forget children, elderly parents, hobbies, sleep

Did you get good information passed from your class's previous teacher? Digging for possibilities, could there be a group who were stretched a long way ahead last year that you haven't been told enough about yet?

More likely though, are there kids who are being tutored outside school therefore never get taught anything new IN school as they have had it already ... less likely at this level than higher up but ...

[my sister had a hopeless maths teacher in senior school, who never did recognise that almost everyone in the class was taught outside school which was why she'd say do you know? they'd say yes, so she'd proceed without actually teaching it ... in the end i gave my sister 3 months intensive tutoring myself before her final exams :) ]

I'm a teacher if 16 years also consistently outstanding so in terms of work load and effort I'd say I'm probably on par with you however I'd say that realistically you are overworking by an hour a day. I work through lunch and break so mark through first break so that's the same but I'm done by 6. I'd say you need to look at more peer making, on the spot marking, what you criteria is for your assessment for learning rather than marking everything. Etc so that you can cut down the hours a bit.
As for the mum, ignore her, parents bitch you can't stop it.

You definitely need to take a step back. There's nothing wrong with being conscientious and passionate but you need more balance in your life and working through all your holidays isn't the right thing to do.

Fosterdog123 is right, a little more balance, would be good !
However, for now, dust yourself down, and carry on.
You cannot ever, please all of the people, all of the time.

You really shouldn't be taking heed of gossip because that is all it is and you said it yourself you cannot please everyone. Plus no matter how good a teacher you are your style will not suit every child in your classroom. I also think the amount you are working is insane I know teachers in the UK (I'm from Ireland) seem to be under so much pressure but where does the joy of teaching come in? Is it assessment after assessment? there is far more to learning than tests

Op i am sure you feel you are committed to your work. But you are being very naive to think you have knowledge (for example) of the homelife of all of these children 2 or 3 weeks in. If your confidence in yourself as a teacher is this threatened by a little unfounded negativity you will find continuing in teaching quite challenging.

Maybe you're lacking resilience because you never take breaks. You're clearly dedicated. But I wish you'd take your lunch break.

OP I think it's awful that a parent has labelled you as "lazy" and I would be upset too at such a personal remark that is completely uncalled for seeing as you obviously put in 100% effort into your teaching.

I would be questioning the motive for the other person passing on that comment.. Sounds like they are stirring the pot as wouldn't you have thought they would have just kept it to themselves?

Perhaps at parents evening you will have the chance to meet with the parent and prove her comments as uncalled for.